I love Chess too and probably spend too much time playing. I have a novel and graphic novel I should be finishing... but the lure of the board, especially a virgin board just begging for an opening. Oh yeah! uuumm sorry. I have to admit that my first though at reading that you are turning down casual sex at 21 elicited a mild sense of shock. I thought, "he's addicted". Then I thought about about it and yes re-thought it and I think you are better off playing chess online. I think it is far more... safe to play chess than casually risking VD or a DUI or even worse both. lol!  Plus think about the brain cells you saving by not drinking!

All this and you still can't beat me.

O.K..?

I say that in the wake of jlaix having just kicked my Kiester, mind you...

There must be a gutedeutschenoun out there for "chess obsession."

Obschession?

NO obsessin is good obsessin.

Why doesn't my computer take my "enters" seriously? I know that post seems to ramble on and on because I didn't break between paragraphs...BUT I DID!!!!! It just didn't insert them in the post once I clicked submit.

Actually, I think Kasparov is not too bad an example of keeping chess (or any activity) in its place: He was at the top of the chess world, but he retired to pursue politics (I don't know enough about "The Other Russia" to be able to endorse it, but the point is, he retired from chess to pursue his goal of making a change in the world around him). Also, I like to think of chess as a hobby: most people have hobbies such as flying radio-controlled airplanesor woodworking or golf, but as with other hobbies, chess should be enjoyed rather than obsesed over. That being said, I think the article brings up a VERY good point about the dangers of obsessing over chess (or anything else, for that matter). There are some people who are addicted to computer games (I know, because I used to be one of them), and this online chess is fully capable of becoming another such addiction if we let it. What helped me get over my PC game thing is that I discovered another thing that interests me: music. So if any of you owho read this are addicted to computer games, or online chess, or anything similar, my advice is to try to find somerthing else you're interested in. (note: I am not in a position to say anything knowledgeable about the effectiveness of this method in treating physiological addictions such as smoking-I only can vouch for its effectiveness aginst psychological addictions.) p.s. the thing about turning down casual sex isn't necessarily a bad thing-I am 19 years old (a fellow college student of yours), and I am still a virgin, and not on account of chess. The reason is that I practice Christian morality, which dictates that sex ought to be saved for marriage. Besides, if everyone practiced this level of morality, many (if not most) STDs would be extinct from the human race within the next two generations. But all this is off the topic of chess and because this is a Chess website, I think the topic should be returned to chess.

Have casual sex with Kasparov...

I'm surprised at the popularity of this article, I mostly wrote it just to vent a little bit.  I think the response is due to the fact that  many people relate to this topic, or at least they find my old man picture amusing.  I was also pleased to note a number of responses from college students.  I wrote this not so much to arract advice, but more as a way to invite people to examine their own chess "habit."  It's a game that offers many things, not least of which is the simple fun of playing, but in the end it's just a game.  

 

I thought it was about time to respond to you all and clarify some things:

 

 PhilipN :  I appreciate you trying to offer advice, but the list of openings I gave was merely and illustrative device and not meant to be interpreted otherwise.

 

 sotu: Sage advice.

 

owlfeeder:  Thank you for the comment, you are thus far the only person to stand up for the merits of obsessing over chess.  Although I slightly disagree with your position, as one of my main concerns is that chess will only improve my life to a point, and after that point it will just be an unhealthy waste of time.  I view socializing, picking up women and making new contacts as the most proactive thing I do besides my school - seriously.  I am studying engineering and while there are many students who do better in the classroom and in understanding the material, few can match my ability to maintain a social circle.  My backup plan is to marry rich...kidding.

 

 teethlikearook:  With the right dosage, longer than you'd expect;)

 

3021025:  Yes, I am partly joking. 

 

 ShadowMagic:  Nice!  I've been scouring the female population for avid chess players, but nothing solid yet.  I applaud your success.

 

ckasperelli:  Yo yo yo yo! Waddup G?!  Not a great idea, and a good way to ruin a good thing.  My chess is improving quickly and I've always loved the game.  There's no reason to think I couldn't take it anywhere I wanted to,  except Susan Polgar's bedroom.  Aight homes?

 

Thanks to all who commented, I'll post a follow up if people have more to say. 

The sole solution to this escapist obsession is to play a superior computer chess program at its most difficult level repeatedly, to all hours of the night, until you're rendered sufficiently sensible to comprehend you'll never defeat anyone of merit (i.e: Susan Polgar, mmmm, sexy too!!) then return to your far more relevant college work - cuz you aint gonna make no dolla's outa dis game to pay no rent, capeesh??

Checkmate?

Face it, Central Park in NYC is full of homeless clowns who've mastered this game - there's always room for one more pigeon...

I'll be following this conversation as I have the same problem. I'm 21 as well, and I'm skipping class, missing paper deadlines, turning down social events and girls offering to stay over. "I'm busy," I always reply. There is this one girl that can come over.... 'cause I can play chess with her =(

Let's start a CA (Chessaholics Anonymous) self-help group ^^'

MIND OR FLESH?CAN A PERSON FIND THE BALLANCE AND CAPTURE THE TOP?OR IMBALLANCE IS NEEDED TO WIN IN THE GAME OF LIFE?

Turning down casual sex sounds serious enough... or does it ?

Well, the great difference between socially acceptable habits and a chess addiction, is that chess addiction tends to isolate you from your friends (yes, you make new friendsin chess, who are just as addicted as you are, but an old friend who does different things can expand your life). Moderation is always good.

 This is a joke, right?

is that your photo..? OMG..u 21 but  you already look like a grandfather if not a grandmaster! Take it easy my friend. Chess for fun. Take more vitamin to restore back your face and good luck for your exam.

a great chess game can last days on end...how long have you ever had sex for?

 

 

that's what I thought. pursue not pleausures, but joys.  

Hmm... just play chess in moderation, rather than all the time.

Also, I like how PhilipN first tells you how to improve your chess playing before commenting on the actual subject

Yea, you definitely need to work on moderation. You are 21.. and in college. Socializing is a huge deal. Chess is your passion thats great.. but the cool thing about a passion is that you will continue to be interested in it both today and tomorrow. Take a step back from chess until you stop seeing black and white squares when you close your eye. There's too much to experience to let one thing consume the majority of your time. You obviously want to go out to parties, have sex, get shit faced, and have a good time with your friends.. If you didnt care you wouldn't have written this message.

good luck

why is having a passion for chess a bad thing?  just because it is overriding other habits (which tend to be the "socially acceptable" addictions like: casual sex, pointless conversation, drinking, etc) why take that as a bad thing.  chess is much more enriching than all the other activites. 

now, once it starts threatening your job or school (aka productive goals) that is when you know you have a problem.  so yeah, study for your test.  (by the way, chess is screwing my study time all to hell)