So, I have a new job. It fits all my criteria, it uses my fashion know-how, passion for writing, pay and benefits fulfil my needs and yet although absolutely perfect on paper it makes me have to face one of the things I hate. Being ‘the new one’.
I absolutely dispise being the new girl. I am less than a month in and spend most of my time looking like a rabbit in the headlights. I am failing make any points of use in conversations, as if I am honest, half the time I am not one hundred per cent sure what people are talking about and I am convinced my new manager is probably thinking “Oh no why didn't I stick with my first choice, candidate number two.” Fitting into a new ‘social bubble is always a steep and challenging mountain for me - made forever in my face by a rather insulting picture of Mt. Everest in my office.
Given I have had a number of jobs you would think I would be used of the new person feeling, but it can be difficult to get the balance between being seen as friendly and approachable without being over familiar and of course looking proffesional. Over familiarity can be the kiss of death for any newbie. I can recall a new girl in a previous job trying to get in on an ‘in’ joke between two people and calling somebody by their nickname in a jovial (I'm trying to fit in) tone on ONLY her second day. Naturally it wasn't well received and sure that it delayed her full integration into the team by a couple of weeks.
The other thing with being the new one is that there is so much bloody information to take in. Everyone talks about the said info so casually that when I am not understanding it fully I start to suspect that I may be on the lower end of the intelligence spectrum... You forget how long it takes to learn the jargon and procedures of each job and role.
The final thing I hate about the newness is that deep down I always think “Oh my God, what if it is like this forever, what if I never meet anybody in the office who will chat to me about non-work stuff. Will anyone be genuinly interested in what I have to say?” This is a slightly unfounded fear on my part as I tend to be a reasonably popular member of the team (even if I do say so myself). So, it is a weird feeling going from one day knowing everybody, having a laugh, knowing all the in jokes and know how of the job to suddenly being slammed into a position where it is questionable as to whether people even know my name or what I do.
For now I am going to just carry on doing that smile, (you know the one that you hope makes you look approachable and friendly, but that you suspect might make you look like a lunatic) and hope for the best.