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World's Most Expensive Internet Connection!

August 26th, 2013 - Additional Material

After writing the article below, vivo pulled out all the stops [coincidentally] and has been making my poor little laptop work overtime handling up to 30Kbps and almost 200Kbps on that half-hour bonus thingy.once a month.

However, for the last couple of weeks, vivo did something I considered impossible: they lowered the speed. It is currently 7Kbps - a little above the old modem telephone velocity.

There are four companies operating in Roraima, Brazil and [coincidentally] they all offer the same conditions.
Is this a cartel?

The reason other Internet users get 2 to 5Mbps is because the government is interested in its people. Here, the governement is interested in itself.

The people marched and Brazil is now rewarded with imported doctors from Argentina, Bolivia, Paraguay and Cuba. There's a rumour going round that some of these medics actually speak a little Portuguese.
The reason for this migration is that the imported doc is prepared to work in the countryside whereas the national breed isn't. They like the big cities where they can clock on and leave five minutes later.
[Not all of them, some actually work up to 4 or 5 hours. A few work there cods off and are probably derided by their peers].
Some nurses steal the 
donated blood and sell it on the black market.

How many more marches will it take to have an imported Internet connection? 

 



How much do you think? R$1,000.00 a month? R$10,000? R$25,000.00?

Way too little.

Remember that Arabian story with the wise man's reward of rice...

vivo can get you connected to the Internet for just 10 cents per megabyte per second.

Sounds great, so let's do some maths, shall we:

0,10 per megabyte per one second;
60 seconds in one minute;
60 minutes in one hour.

Let's pause and see how much an hour we are paying vivo...

0,10 x 60 x 60 = R$360.00 per hour.

That's a little over half a monthly minimum salary per hour. Let's continue:

24 hours in one day = 24 x 360.00 = R$8,640.00 per day.

Now we're really talking! We'll need to earn almost 14 monthly minimum salaries
an hour
for our vivo Internet connection.

We'll not be eating too much rice, then, will we? Wink

Last calculation to see how much we'll need each month:

30 days +- in each month = 30 x R$8,640.00 =

R$259,200.00

Here's the cute little fellow who's generosity knows all limits:

Idea for marketing people:
vivo ask you to design a 'logo' for their 'communications' company.
Your concept is a drunken purple humanoid thingy waving [goodbye?!].
It has no eyes, no ears and no mouth!
Communication? Where? How?
In vivo's case, it is without doubt the most honest representation they have.
One can spend hours asking them to explain why R$8.00
has been added to this month's bill.
Incidentally, Brazil got really 'tough' a couple of months ago and
vivo were banned from acquiring new clients for 30 days.
Yeah, right. With 60 million clients in the bag beforehand
it's like telling someone who's hospital for overeating
that he can't have desert.
Brazil does not like Brazilians.

Anyway, back to our theme... questions:
How did vivo come up with this million-dollar plan?
Which Brazilian government body sanctioned this?
Do you think we are talking corruption, incompetence, both or something else?
Is a foreigner the only person who has noticed this?
Laughing
Having researched the net I have come to the conclusion that most countries
are offering around 5 Mbps for about 1- to 2% of a monthly minimum salary.
Can anyone comment on this?

Here is some further information on vivo's performance in Brazil,
only recommended for avid enthusiasts:
For 6% of a monthly minimum salary vivo offers up to 64 K/s.
Firstly, is there any provider in the world that offers this amazingly low connection speed?
Anyway, here in Alvorada, Boa Vista, Roraima I actually receive 7.1 K/s, maximum!
Let's imagine Mrs. Vivo shopping...
Salesman: Up to 64 hand-made chocolates for R$35.00.
Mrs. Vivo: Great. I'll take them.
Salesman: There you are, Lady.
Mrs. Vivo: Hey! I only got seven!
Salesman: Sucks, doesn't it and it's legal and I don't care and I don't need to explain. Next!
I once tried another vivo plan where the charge is R$59,00,
almost 10% of a monthly minimum salary.
However, the speed of the first 500 Mb each month is 1 Mbps.
Sounds great until we stop and think what 500 Mb means in real terms:
ten 5-minute low-quality youtube videos.
All my friends are watching dvd's and films and downloading whatever they want,
whenever they want, not just for 500 seconds, 8.33 minutes, a month!
Anyway, I checked the speed I was getting and it reached 145 K/s, maximum.
I then checked the connection software speed which read 1.2 M/s.
Clever, eh.
Lastly, when the bill arrived, it had a spurious, non-detailed R$8.00 additional charge. Naturally, this was eventually contested and a person at vivo agreed to remove it.
This has not been done.
vivo have approximately 60,000,000 [unhappy] customers in Brazil,
so back to some simple maths:
60,000,000 x R$8.00 = R$480,000,000 each month for nothing.
It's just setting up the computer to steal
(or is this done locally with a bonus for each person?)
Let's say that only 10% pay up: R$48,000,000.
If it were only 1%, it would still line vivo's coffers with nearly 5 million a month!
vivo is one of the top companies for complaints with the consumer association, PROCON.
I tried contacting our local Boa Vista leader, Pedro, via the e-mail shown on the PROCON, Roraima, homepage, pedrodecon@bol.com.br. It doesn't work! Try it!
I contacted Angela Portela, Senator, angela.portela@senadora.gov.br. This works, though it appears she doesn't because I have never received a reply,
mechanical or otherwise.
My hope is that someone 'important' will read this and decide to do something about it.
Forlorn? I've just got the one. Cool
Cry Today, Friday, 18th January, 2013, I managed to download a 51 Mb youtube chess file, "Why Carson Wins" in 98 minutes!
I guess that's about 98 times longer than most of you guys are used to. Cry
Obrigado vivo - Obrigado politicians.
Brazil does not like Brazilians.

Comments


  • 3 months ago

    Joe_Blob

    Hi, Christian and thank you for your comments.

    12Kbps! Wow! So playing chess here must be a bit of a problem. OI is a clone of vivo, ou vice versa, because they both offer(ed) the 10cent per megabyte extra quarter-of-a-million reais deal!

    One month, a long long time ago, I sent vivo 100 e-mails complaining about the service, showing download speeds, etc. They charged me R$8,00 for the privilege and refused to reconnect me until I paid!

    TIM is worse (here) and I can't be bothered trying Claro because I had a mobile with them and it was a disaster. 

    PS. I am not complaining, I am just telling it like it is (I made a New Year's resolution not to complain).

    If Mrs. Vivo is reading this:
    "Mrs. Vivo I think you are wonderful and your company as well and all the Senators and Deputies that thought R$259.200,00 was a good idea. Can you send my friend Christian an extra 12Kbps to bring him up to speed? Thank you."

  • 3 months ago

    XretxeD

    [COMMENT DELETED]
  • 3 months ago

    XretxeD

    Highlow Joe, just came back to your article and thought... "Wow! You got one fast internet connection up there! I say that because down here (in Rio Grande do Sul) I depend on that amazing thing they dare to call 3G in Brazil (yes, I do live in the woods) and I have the enormous pleasure of telling you that I have a bandwidth of bucking bancy 12kbps. But than I read a bit closer (I use glasses you know) and I almost wet my pants, mate I really thought it couldn't get any slower! So maybe, just maybe, Vivo is even cooler than Oi... say... is their customer service as much fun as?!? Cheers!

    PS: I shall get your book, looks like a very interesting lecture to me, hope u'll sell lots of it, so you can afford a better connection. :D

  • 4 months ago

    Rowan

    Laughing

  • 4 months ago

    Joe_Blob

    There's nothing meteoric about vivo.

    However, I have to report that today, 21st December, 2013, bonus day, it reached the amazing speed of 552Kbps, that's over half a megabyte per second.
    Naturally, it soon ran out of steem and setled into 300Kbps.

    Still, it's a limp in the right direction, isn't it?

  • 4 months ago

    Rowan

     I think it is to do with the meteors . . . . .

  • 11 months ago

    Joe_Blob

    Lula has been replaced by Dilma do Chefe. :) :) :)

  • 11 months ago

    Joe_Blob

    Lula has been replaced by Dijlma

  • 11 months ago

    XretxeD

    ...besides internet connections, you might actually want to mention the abusive prices of electronics and cars... which reminds me, Brazil has also most likely the most expensive gasoline in the world too (taking into account the amount of alcohol added)... God bless America because here "In Lula & Co. they trust"...

  • 15 months ago

    Snapdragon

    [COMMENT DELETED]
  • 15 months ago

    Joe_Blob

    Yes. At least today we can voice our noses. For over 21 years, during the dictatorship, Brazilians were sent to prison, tortured and or killed for even thinking bad thoughts about the government. This ended in 1985.

  • 15 months ago

    alex1313

    ... and it is a democracy, right?

  • 15 months ago

    Joe_Blob

    For good or bad, every person, creed, policy, country, etc. changes.

    Opinions are like noses, most people have one.

    In Brazil, a politician can make obscene gestures, laugh at the honesty and endeavors of the people and be reelected.

    The police steal and murder, nurses steal blood from blood-banks and criminals shoot victims who panic and often take nothing - about the value of a life in Brazil.

  • 15 months ago

    alex1313

    Does this conviction mean that the winds (hardly a breeze) of change are arriving? Undecided

    Everybody must be involved, you wouldn't survive inside if you weren't.

    The skit goes too deep to clean up, I would wager. 

  • 15 months ago

    Joe_Blob

    Alex wrote: I would imagine a Brazilian politician has no reason to avoid lies, as long as he doesn't get caught too many times.

    Alex, one of the most popular words and common complaints on the news is:

    I M P U N I T Y

    The Mensalão (Big Monthly Payment) was the first time in almost 513 years where politicians were sentenced to jail.
    (They haven't actually arrived there yet because apparently in Brazil, 'Supreme' does not mean supreme. There are other recourses beyond the Federal Supreme Court).

    Forsooth, José Genoino Guimarães Neto (Parliamentary condemned to 6 years and 11 months imprisonment) has just taken his usual position in the Chamber of Federal Deputies. This is legal and only other Parliamentarians with a conscience can object. The silence rang through the Oscar Niemeyerian halls.

    No, Alex, getting caught lying is not a problem.


     

    Carson wins because he has a stable home life as well as being flexibly talented.

  • 15 months ago

    alex1313

    People have different understanding of a definition for honesty, and what are acceptable lies... I would imagin a brazilian politician has no reason to avoid lies, as long as he doesn't get caught too many times.

  • 15 months ago

    alex1313

    Great, now we can ask you Joe. Why does Carson win?

  • 15 months ago

    Joe_Blob

    Never! Oops. Embarassed

  • 15 months ago

    alex1313

    OK let's get rid of all liars (and liarz) from A-Z... Promoting honesty; an idea for saving our civilization. How often do we easily lie in one day?

  • 15 months ago

    Joe_Blob

    vivo in Brazil. Elsewhere. one imagines they can't be so unscrupulous, because the government governs.

    PS. 'Brazil' in Brazil is spelt 'Brasil' = B Liars!

    Still works in English = B Liarz!

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