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Another Chess Courtesy Blog Post

In the image, Nigel Short is being refused a handshake by Ivan Cheparinov at the Corus 2009 Tournament in the B Group.  A breach of "etiquette".

I would suggest that there are other breaches of etiquette. The one I am talking about specifically is winning and requesting an opportunity to beat them again.  

I would suggest that if you win against someone, you do not request a rematch from them.  Instead, if you win, be respectful and allow them the chance to request a rematch.

I would continue this line of reasoning to say that to ignore that the person you beat might be distraught about losing is self-centered.  It does not hurt you to press the "New Game" button but pressing the "Rematch" button in the face of someone you just beat may be digging in a wound.  

When you blow off their possible reaction to losing by insisting that it must match your view is the definition of self-centered.  People who ignore the thoughts and feelings of others and act only on their own is, again, the definition of self-centered.

another member challenged me (I am 1478 OTB USCF compared to his 2248 USCF) to a fast time control (unrated).  He promptly beat me and then immediately asked for a rematch.  I asked him, "Is there any reason you are trying to be rude to me?"  There follows a series of Notes where he explains that I "should be" grateful that he offered to play me.

He said, "I see that you're upset though I don't relate to what you're felling. I'm usually very happy when I get challenges from GM Joey and the FIDE Masters that play here. I realize I'm a clear underdog to win, but It is a nice opportunity to play them all the same. I will try to remember not to challenge you as you don't like to play up. No problem! Be well!"

If he wants to be so honorable to beat up on patzers like me, just leave his "Accept Challenges" open.  I believe there will be plenty of patzers interested in getting smashed.  But I did not seek him out.  He sought me out.  Then pursued beating me in a series.  What the heck is the motivation in that?  Oh...I should be grateful though.

I like martial arts too.  I guess I should be grateful if Chuck Norris comes up and says, "Hey man.  You want to spar?"  After he promptly lays me out.  He leans over me and asks, "You want to go again?"  Yeah man.  Thanks for the whoopin'.  I grateful that you found me!

The first game.  I was interested in the game with a titled player.  When he immediately sought a rematch after smashing me, I was not as interested in playing him as I was in why he was seeking me out for the beatings.  It felt rude.

I see on his Notes on his page, he has plenty of fans adoring his rating and ability to be "nice" from on high.  I'm not impressed.  He's obviously a good player...I felt that.  Still not impressed with him.

Just my opinion.

Comments


  • 2 years ago

    chapablanca2000

    [COMMENT DELETED]
  • 2 years ago

    LetsReason

    Chapablanca wanted to comment on my blog about my getting annoyed with him for doing EXACTLY what this entry talks about.  That is why his commented was deleted.

  • 2 years ago

    chapablanca2000

    [COMMENT DELETED]
  • 2 years ago

    Oyasuminasai

    I understand what you're saying about rematching you.  Trouble is, I can see the other side in 'tough love'.  One learns more from loss than in winning.  Reminds me of the tough MMA teachers that knock the crap out of my brother, following with 'Get up!'

    I'm sure you learned -something- new in skills from the Samurai Showdown!  Tell him 'Arigatou gozaimasu, Samurai-san; okawari wo kudasai?'

  • 3 years ago

    LetsReason

    As an addendum: It seems (or just feels like it) that another player is either friends with or sympathetic to xxxxx mentioned in this blog post.  CLEARLY this person is a sandbagger and deliberately sought me out. They allowed me to win the first game.  The requested a rematch and I offered them the courtesy of a rematch.  Then they slammed me like the patzer I am.  Then they rematched me again.  I conveyed my view of rudeness and allowed another game.  They continued to slam me with combinations and tactics well beyond the 1700s they appeared to be.  (Note: My bullet rating is 1800s and theirs is 1400s.  My Blitz, at the beginning of the encounter was about 1770 and theirs 1780.)

    Tis okay.  I will start by blocked list again.

  • 3 years ago

    LetsReason

    I agree Bruce (@RetGuvvie98).  It is like some people develop this disconnect when they achieve.  Maybe their thought process is inadvertently, "I'm an authority at this subject, therefore I am an authority in other subjects."--including their view on manners and respect.

    I try to see manners and respect as their own thing.  I realize that depending on the culture I grew up in, certain lingo and manners occur.  But I do not see Chess as it's own unique culture where manners and respect are changed.  Being considerate of others permeates all cultural boundaries as far as I can see.

    Thanks for the response.

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