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How to Improve at Chess -not!

Elephants dont forget..so I put a pic up cause I DO forget my chesslines at 58yrs.

A recent Chess Friend asked hoew to improve his game...I sent this (kidding) reply.

My Dear Friend Girusp, you said

"so pls guide me to how can i improve  also i am trying to improve my concentration thru rigorous yoga"

Firstly let me ask. Do yu do drugs?

If not , yu may be neglecting your creative juices....my drug dealer recommends opium for relaxing, a snort of cocaine to be alert for traps and some heroine... (to sell for a profit to get from tournament to tournament).

You mentioned Yoga...Yes this is good...my Psychoanalyst tells me I should do Ballet to keep fit and pick up good looking chicks and Karate so I can beat up on any boyfriends they might have so I have no unresolved tension before each Chess Match.

KUng Fu is also good but I gave up when I found I couldnt read my instruction book as it was in chinese.

I then bought a book for the pictures but that was another thing...The Playboy Bunny magazines just put me off my game.

Good Luck I hope I confused you as much as I did myself

FideMaster Curtis (John)

Comments


  • 15 months ago

    bobbyice

    bad joke...

  • 15 months ago

    koolaidking

    funney comedy lol Laughing

  • 2 years ago

    AntoineBoy

    "how to improve" is boring.

  • 2 years ago

    Rozenblit

    John, you got a very good sense of humour 

  • 2 years ago

    ykfgson

    gago..

  • 2 years ago

    Steelfury

    so deep almost had to put shoes on! very funny blog

  • 2 years ago

    jefpercor

    looking at a chessboard is looking at the universe. too deep to understand,

  • 2 years ago

    justinmcc314

    @Mobidi - "If you are playing-you NEVER BE OLD!Its no joke!but chess game is very dangerous!This game only for very strong people." That doesn't even make sense either. Maybe you and the magician can sit down and trade ridiculous comments back and fourth? If you're going to write in english, PLEASE learn grammar.

  • 2 years ago

    sryiwannadraw

    " Do yu do drugs? If not , yu may be neglecting your creative juices.... "

     

    LOL this can potentially be true

  • 2 years ago

    shiro_europa

    "Once you sober up, you won't find yourself nearly as funny."  < LOL

  • 2 years ago

    NBlood

    Hunter S. Thomspon didn't have an Elo rating of 3500 for nothing!

    What do you mean he didn't have an Elo of 3500? Why are you bothering me with these details?

  • 2 years ago

    duraiy_india

    lol...I am gonna follow this definitely!!

    But after drugs...my queen might kill King and run away with Bishop....lol

  • 2 years ago

    dannyhume

    Best.  Column.  Ever.  Derp

    Keep 'em coming FunnyMaster TheMagician, don't listen to the haters.

  • 2 years ago

    dnleary

    What you talkin bout, Willis?

  • 2 years ago

    aldlv

    that was great XD

  • 2 years ago

    mobidi

    When you are playing chess-CHESS are playing with you!

  • 2 years ago

    Sreimund

    This is so deep.

  • 2 years ago

    speedplay45

    When you think about it, what knight or horse moves in an L shape in any situation besides chess?  I swear, sometimes i think the knights in chess are mentally retarded.

  • 2 years ago

    lucifer1860

    funny:))

  • 2 years ago

    Wejerin

    I think perhaps the point of this post is the best way to  improve at chess....would be to play chess.  Yoga, drugs, sports, violence, whatever might have skills or lessons that a chess  player might find useful, but the #1 way to improve at chess ought to be to practice playing....(wait for it)....CHESS!!

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