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10 Words That Don’t Exist, But Should… (part 2)

01. AQUADEXTROUS – adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathroom faucet on and off with your toes.

02. CARPERPETUATION – n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

03. DISCONFECT – v. To sterilize a piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow “remove” all the germs.

04. ELBONICS – n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater (airplane).

05. FRUST – n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keep backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

06. LACTOMANGULATION – n. Manhandling the “open here” spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the “illegal” side.

07. PEPPIER – n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.

08. PHONESIA – n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.

09. PUPKUS – n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.

10. TELECRASTINATION – n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you’re only six inches away.

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