A woman, a dog, a shotgun, a bicycle and a chessboard

The dude was flying a bike transport plane and crashed?

Comes with age, George ;-)

??

All at the same time ? How could she keep it in , or better , what happened to the dog  ?

There was this chessplayer who was a member of a chessclub so poor that they couldn't affort the boards.

He had just won his game and it was on his way back home , riding his bike and holding his chessboard in his right arm, when a dog suddenly crossed the road and he ran into it.

The poor pekinese was splattered all over the road, with some parts even sticking to the pavement and that poor old woman of 85 , who owned the creature and was riding the wheelchair the leashed dog was attached to and dragged along with him.

She was about to draw her shotgun , but was tasered in the back by a friendly and alert police officer who later stated :  for violation of  "environmental polution" laws.

It must have been in the late 1860's when , on the westcoast of Erin in O'Leary's pub in Shiteham , there was a battle going on between Red Mary of the Rocks and Mickey O'Flanagan of the Dafts.

She headed the white army of pieces and sat on one end of the table with her dog Fixit and he was seated on the other side . There was only a chessboard in between them , and of course the loaded double barreled sawnoff shotgun the referee , Conleth Scally brought with him. His father fixes bikes in Mainstreet.

The game ended in a draw and nothing happened after that , except that the referee got shot. He was so drunk , his face fell on the table and the gun.

A woman , after parking her bike , was walking her dog on the beach when she found a tennisball burried in the sand. "A nice toy for the dog" she thought and threw the ball away. Sure enough this pleased her dog and they were playing like this for a while when all of sudden her dog showed up with a half gone antique shotgun full of dirt instead of the ball.

She threw the rubbish away and told her dog to "find the ball" and so it did , but it didn't come back . It stayed at one spot barking like hell. So she walked over to the dog when suddenly she saw the body of what appeared to be a pirate of some kind.

His body , decayed long ago , held the remains of what appeared to be a chessboard in his right arm. He was stranded in his what looked to be a boat and was shot in the head and twice in the belly.

This all happened in 1872 , on the westcoast of Erin near Shiteham.

My uncle Harry had a parrot. It could only say these few words : "woman,dog,bike,shotgun" , but it refused to say "chessboard" so he sold it , to Lou.

I didn't have an Uncle harry. Another thing lacking in my life. ;-)