I am surprised someone has yet to mention the cornstalk defense : 1 e4  a5?!

 His full name was O'Kelly de Galway and he was Belgian Grandmaster.  He also had a strong command of 6 or 7 languages, unlike you who can't even write your native one correctly : "guaranteed *of* a win", what kind of English is that?

P.S. I notice you haven't actually managed to finish a game on this site yet but perhaps if you get to play someone Irish you might get a win.....best of luck with your project on that though.

not only is he goinbg to die, he is going to lose badly

The Halloween Attack

The lulu-lili defence which goes as follows

"He also had a strong command of 6 or 7 languages, unlike you who can't even write your native one correctly : 'guaranteed *of* a win', what kind of English is that?

P.S. I notice you haven't actually managed to finish a game on this site yet but perhaps if you get to play someone Irish you might get a win.....best of luck with your project on that though."

I'm pretty sure you missed a comma there and screwed up the ellipsis. That's why I stopped being a English Nazi a while back. I guess we all make mistakes.

Say hi to your gf for me, R'handsel.

"Ps Narrow-minded-dude, I'm not English, but I didn't expected you to know that. lol After all, you are an Ier!!!"

You should change your profile from England then....

shut up skywalker

your an idiot

 Sorry for getting off topic .  It's dimwit racists like him who give the flag of St. George a bad name, if it hadn't been for the flag I mightn't have bothered.   Getting back to the point, since I'm a grumpy old man how about the Aged Gibbon Gambit in the Old Indian?

yeah, lets keep it on topic?

Polish Opening...doesn't make us seem to smart!

lol @ e-flamers.  They are really something eh?  Halloween attack FTW!

If you guys want to duke it out, do it in E-mails or create a seperate thread.  Your personal attacks have no place here, and you're liable to get the topic locked because of it.  We're here for the "funniest or weirdest."  Let's keep this topic fun please.

 I had already apologised for getting off topic.....but I think dimwitted racist comments don't exactly have a place here either, I chose to comment here rather than "report abuse" as it seems considerably over the top to expect the staff to deal with this childish stuff.  I've deleted my comments, you're right it was clogging up the thread.

Relevant posting content : Mosquito Gambit.

mosquito! lol.  I bet these openings have animal names because nobody wants to have their own name associated with it.

Bird's  Polar bear variation can be funny

I just found a new one:

1.d4...Nf6, 2.c4...Nc6 = Black Knights Tango.  I would call it the Dark Knights Tango, but I really don't see me playing this one.

But then I didn't see me playing the Creepy Crawly Opening either until my nephew came over and used it on me.  I've got both his bishops, a knight and a pawn, all my pieces are still on the table (10-0), and he's smileing at me like I'm walking right into his trap.  He says he's beaten a lot of kids in his chess club with the Creepy Crawly Opening.  Stay tuned for how this one turns out.

B06: Modern Defense: Bishop Attack, Monkey's Bum

Fried Fox Pork Chop Opening.

Ok.

Bongcloud Attack: 1. e4 e5 2. Ke2!

Dr_Doc_MD attack: 1. RESIGN

Those are always winning attacks - try them out!

Skunk spray counter attack