I was just at a chess club, where a young "adult" was insulting less (talented) or less winning players.  The club president didn't do anything about it, except to remind people to not have excessive talking.  The bullying and insulting comments toward beginning players is driving them away. No woman who comes to club seems to stay.  I am quitting -- it's not fun on a workday evening to have some junior college narcisist insult you because he's better at chess than you. (doubtful that he's better at life).   The minimal talking rule is good, but not enough. The club is advertising "beginners welcome," but I don't think they are.  The Yucaipa seems to be a group of retired guys and dysfunctional young men.  They don't offer lessons, and don't have an overt strategy to teach beginners other than to win against them in games.

If you know of better chess clubs in the southern California, ones better for beginners and not so misogynistic that woment never come back, let me know.  I am looking for a new face-to-face club!

Confront the man.

Sorry about that, LadyViola66.  I can relate to how you feel. As a former chess playing woman in Southern California tournaments, I have had quite a few problems over the years- starting with the "fan club" (which consisted, unfortunately, of strange men), a chauvinistic TD who kept trying to discourage me from participating in tournaments, and eventually a stalker. I tried to ignore it, be strong, etc., but I eventually had to give up. You will probably notice that there are very few women who play chess in So Ca, and these are the reasons. Not only there is no encouragement, there is also antagonism and apathy.
But one thing is for sure- the only way to face the jerks who have such big egos, is to beat them. That is what I did to most of them. No one will dare say anything to you then. It may take a while, but you can do it.
One other suggestion is to organize your own tournaments/chess get-togethers if you can, and you can invite whomever you want. Good luck to you!

An organisation (nothing to do with chess) to which I belong has, amongst its various membership rules, a dictum that "courtesy is a requirement for interactions".

I think that is well-applied elsewhere, too.

In the organisation in question, incidentally, one who is repeatedly discourteously will simply be barred from interacting with other members.

Applying that to the case of your young fellow at the club, that'd mean warning him, and then booting him out if he still can't be polite.

Enforced civility is... harsh, totalitarian? Perhaps, but it provides a better environment, in my opinion.

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Sorry to hear about your experience every Chess Club is different!

If you don't have luck finding a Chess Club you like I'd suggest checking if there is  a meet up group of Players in your area who want to play or start your own!

http://chess.meetup.com/

Here is a link to clubs: http://www.scchess.com/ I cannot review them for you. As suggested, perhaps you will be able to improve the conduct in your present club. I know that does not always work. A woman in my state who plays in various places dropped one of her clubs due to rudeness and the lack of support. Some clubs do ban or suspend those few who misbehave. This is probably more effective in clubs that have already collected membership fees. When excessive talking is not supposed to be going on, I think that rated games are being played. The rules of chess require courtesy and sportsmanship then. Clubs should have rules even at other times.

you will always find bullies or loudmouths in all walks of life, and a chess club is no exeption....the best thing to do would be to keep going to the club, stand up for your rights and tell him to keep his comments to himself! (if that fails kick him in the balls).

fraid i cant help from over here but if you ever get to sta ndrews you will get a warm welcome in my local pub for a friendly game.

i think you are right about some of these morons - chess is probably all they can do well.

have you looked at setting up a ladies only club?

Huge subject.  In the last 15 years, there have only been a dozen or so women to show up in our local small group and all have stopped coming.  If attractive, they get too much attention and become embarrassed.  Sooner or later, a "regular" offends them.  I always thought the problem was simply "under socialized" men unused to women.  Rarely does a man who does know better (and I am including myself here--more in self-criticism than conceit) take the initiative and interfere.  I remember someone back in 1980 remarking that we were living in one of the few parts of the world and few times in history where a woman could walk alone without being harassed.  Although a valid point in some contexts, it is a weak explanation for what is increasingly unacceptable.

Thanks for the ideas and input.  I think it was mostly that one individual, and not the club itself.  It wasn't the first time that young man made off-putting comments.  I will look for a women's chess club is Southern California, and maybe one with reasonably priced lessons.  I need to own more regulation chess sets and pay the USCF dues before I start an alternative club here.