Some people try to bug me by wasting my time pretending that they are actually reading it. I know they aren't, so I just sit there staring at them.

And why isn't Allan Two-door not in the innermost circle of Hell's hall of shame? OUT WITH HIM!!!

The difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road is there are skid marks all the way up to the dog.

Do you put letters behind your name on all company correspondence like the accountants where work? Also, if we're expected to read contracts, why is the print so small that it can only be read with the assistance of a microscope?

No, it seems pretentious, so I don't do it.

As for small print, the ones I've seen lately are giant print, with portions in big bold print/highlighted. So it's rather hard to miss. But still, I think people don't read them. In my opinion, they are un-stupid-proofable.

People are un-stupid-proofable. We have to deal with that on paint labels. You can't fit enough instruction on them to guarantee proper application, especially multi-lingual labels.

The paint won't stick. It all comes off as I paint the second coat! I demand my money back.

Next?   

Nice one, Joseph

We may have left it off the label, but you have to let the first coat dry before you apply the second coat.

Au contraire Blackadder. Nothing will get one deported quicker than failing to pay one's dues, tax accountants save us gypsy expats from such ignominy!

Wait, I'm confused. Are tax lawyers or tax accountants worse?

Well I presumed tax lawyers would have been covered by the mantra of, "first we shoot all the lawyers"  Which means accountants must be better ... or something !

 Thanks!

I nominate NickYoung5 because I hadn't noticed him being around here for ages and ages and then he popped up here again and I was all like yay NickYoung5.

I nominate Angus Young!

I un-nominate electricpawn for posting one too many "classic" rock songs 

....redeemed.