Beat me and marry me please.

I live in a castle in a german forest. My hobbies are fitness, hunting, motorbikes, chess, art, cooking and travelling. I desperately want a woman to come and live with me, but i want her to be smart and funny. She can be smoking hot on the condition that she is nice and understands that nobody is perfect. Please beat me at chess.

Question #1 How old are you?

Ok, 50 in the morning before breakfast. 30 during the day. 16 after a couple of bottles. A baby when feeling blue and a million years when showering the world with love and fighting off fear. Am trying to find a birth certificate somewhere but i have over 60 chambers and am not always tidy.

Sure. If this is important to you.

Now we used to have a member who was into bondage and the whole dominatrix thing.  She would have been perfect for you!

EDIT: Oh wait.  I just actually read your post; you meant beat you at chess. My bad.

Hang on ... you say you live in a German forest but your flag says Isle of Man ... no, no, no ... something isn't right here!

read hobbies..........ur gay

Blimey, only one of my servants is mute and he was born that way. The rest is a pleasant mixture consisting of 2 english butlers serving cucumber sandwiches while singing "we are the champions", a german lady cook specialised in paleo meals and a couple of frisky chambermaids. I almost forgot the driver technician who also does maintenance on the boiler room.

I can be a woman...

..... what is your favourite position?

..... are u on webcam?

How should i know that? I do not do the shopping.