RBHS (Restless Ban-Hammer Hand Syndrome) is a devastating condition in which one's Ban-Hammer Hand becomes itchy or restless, a condition which has recently impacted the chess.com community significantly.

As some of you may know, Pelger, LucidDream, and Nonnetrovouno were all very recently banned for *****ing. I know why this occurred.

If I may direct your attention here for a moment, you will observe that from 5/5 to 6/12, Erik did not ban ANYONE. After such an extended period of inactivity, one could understand why Erik's Ban-Hammer Hand may begin to itch. Ha! The NOTION of Erik's Ban-Hammer Hand beginning to itch is ridiculous! As the owner of the site, he is much more responsible than that!!!

So what, then, DID cause Erik to ban the aforementioned players? My friends, it was RBHS.

RBHS is a condition that now has directly affected all of us. These role models, better than many of us could ever hope to be on our own, have been stolen away from us. It's like telling a child that Super Man isn't real!!

Well, you can stop the spread of RBHS. Spread the word by telling all of your friends about this link. You can help save virtual lives and protect childhood dreams. (That are, interestingly, based on lies.)

Now we must determine the proper punishment for Erik. What is the correct treatment for one who runs around, recklessly banning our heroes when he could easily prevent his irresponsible actions with a bit of anti-itching cream? I say Erik should be struck down with his own wicked weapon; the Ban-Hammer!!

Anywho, if you have RBHS and are going through a crisis, please call DON-TBA-NEM. Thank you for reading this - your attention to this important matter may very well save your life or someone else's.

Note: At no point in this post was "*****ing" plainly typed. Therefore, if this is locked/deleted, I will have to diagnose Erik with RLFS (Restless Lock-Button Finger Syndrome) as well as RBHS.

LOL

lol

Yes!!! Two "lols!!!" Before now in my attempts to put an end to RBHS, all I had received was a tomato. Thrown at my face.