Responsibilty of GMs on this site/communtiy

Hello alll,

   I recently played in a tournament in Sturbridge, MA. and I was luck enough to win my whole section 5-0-0, but that is not why I am here. I am here because I was fortunate enough to meet Gata Kamsky and not so fotunate to meet a chess.com GM. Now before people get all upset and go to delete my account; let me explain.

   I am of the belief if one chooses to be an actor or musician then they should understand  there are costs associated with said lifestyle. For instance, paparazzi, fans stopping you in the street, and your personal business being in tabloids. I am not saying it is right, but it is par for the course so to speak.                                                                                           I feel that way about GMs and IMs for that matter who play in local, and or large tournaments. Especially if they are a common and well known face on this site; which has about 10 million members!                          

 So this brings me to my point of being disappointed about one of chess.coms very own. I was excited to be around so many strong players and able to meet so many chess enthusiats. I was fortunate enough to win my last game fairly early when, low  and behold. I see a chess.com regular in Massachusetts. 

 Knowing chess.com is based in the west coast I decied to go and say hi, since we were all the way in Massachusetts (for the record this GM was also done playing as well). I strolled up and said hello. I was attempting to have a casual conversation (like two people at a bus stop), but I could telll immediately that this person wanted nothing to do with me. No eye contact was made. Answers were very short; and to put it bluntly, he came across as a real a**hole. 

  Now I understand that everyone has bad days, but when you are a GM, and at a tournament, you have to expect people to come up to you and want to talk about whatever. Mainly because they look up to you and they are blessed (so to speak) in your presence. I was so upset at the lack of social interaction. Fortunately, Gata Kamsky was social, taking pictiures with people, and being a real gentleman.

So my question is: Am I in the wrong for expecting a little more interaction and politness from a well known GM (thanks to this site)?

If they're a chess.com GM, it's all about the money.  This place is all about the profits.  Of course this GM was rude, you didn't wave a hand full of cash under his nose.

Hey Gag,

 I never said they owed me anything. I think you missed the point completely. Thank you for your uneducated response.

Are you wrong for expecting politeness?  No.  That's just plain decency.  Unfortunately, I've experienced that those at the top of whatever tend to be rude to us "lowlies".

Edit: Not that that in any way excuses his behavior.  It just happens to be that way.

I'd like to apologise for the GM's behavior. Please accept our sincere condolences.

Its sad that in this day and age people tend to be so wrapped up in self. That is all it is Malachi , just self absorption. Sort of like if I ended up meeting MJ and he was a dick(which by all accounts I've read he can be). I would just view it from the perspective that THEY missed out on a great opportunity to interact with YOU , because that's the crux of it. You are a great person , and the reality is that it's THEIR loss.

I think it is selfish and unrealistic to automatically expect friendliness from complete strangers, even if those strangers are celebrities.  Extroverts need to realize that introverts (or even extroverts having a bad day) sometimes want to be left alone.  This reminds me of an old Buddhist saying: "Don't take what is not yours, and don't go where you're not welcome".  Just my opinion ...

Yes you did.

Right there you said they should expect to deal with the public, meaning you. While I agree they should understand there are costs associated with their choice of occupation I don't feel they have any obligation to deal with the public. I don't believe the public has any right to anyone's time just because they are trying to make a living doing what they like.

Yes it is.

When you expect rational behavior from people, you will surly often be disappointed.

Hello Kleeof, your statement could be interpretted two completely different ways in the context of this thread.  Do you mean the GM is being irrational for not being friendly to a stranger?  Or do you mean the OP is being irrational for expecting friendliness from a stranger?

Never meet your heros, you might only be disappointed. 

Yes, I suppose it is a bit ambigious here. One mans rational is another mans irrational.

I suppose it could be applied to the OP, since some have basically already said the same thing to him.

But, no, I just meant in general. I would be a bit miffed too if I tried to be friendly to someone in a similar situation and they acted like that to me. The OP is apparently a better man than me because I would have said something, probalby rude, to the GM.

A pre-emptive strike! Hey GM, i don't think you could have beaten Capa!

"Hey, who the hell do you think you are, Carlsen?"

I like that one!

Is it rational to respond to indifference with rudeness?  I think not.

Fortunately rationality is quite often subjective.

And as a humans, we have the fine ablity to rationalize most any behaviour no matter how irrational it may seem to be to others.

To me, indifference is rude.

An eye for an eye, baby. An eye for an eye.

If you want to make a living playing chess, you better be nice to amateur fans of the game. Was this GM American? If someone speaks English as a second language, they can come off as rude without meaning to. Also Americans are generally very easily offended by behavior that is normal in most of the world. 

It's always funny, and a bit disturbing when I see Americans try and sound cool by making comments like this about Americans.

I have traveled quite a bit, and I can tell you, Americans complain ALOT less than a lot of the Europeans I've seen when dealing with 'behaviour that is normal in most of the world'.

I think that sterotype of Americans is 1) something that was true at one time when most Americans who could afford to travel were the rich snobby types but has changed since average Americans can now afford to travel (the past 40 years or so) and 2) an image some non-Americans still try to spread just because they find it fun to complain about Americans.