317. You still have friends
318. You stop playing chess every now and then to shower
319. You still believe that there is a strange outside world wich has nothing to do with chess.
320. You can count further then 8
321. You understand the alphabet has more letters then: a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,x,K,Q,R,N and B
322. Instead of playing chess you are posting here
322. Instead of playing chess you are posting here
so insulting yourself lol :P
323. You post the rest of the signs until you get to 1000--why are you so good? You do all those things.
324. You never have castled
325.Your gf has not dumped you yet.
326. When you advance a pawn for promotion, you say: "King me."
327. You confidently say you can beat Kasparov the first day you learn the game.
326. When you advance a pawn for promotion, you say: "King me."
Already said.
326. When you advance a pawn for promotion, you say: "King me."
Already said.
Already said like 20 times. 
328. You keep track of everything that has been said in this forum.
329. You think chess engines have solved chess
330. You think chess engines are perfect.
331. You notice which weather it is during the day.
332. You think you cannot improve your game
333.You are not dreaming about chess.
You believe that the older opponent will win
337 . You don't know what checkmate is :O
338 . You win a game after you're checkmated :P
339 . You bribe your opponent into losing
156. you play the game off the board.
I meant to put 156. This is because this how you play chess too little
156. you play the game off the board.
You mean 340?
156. you play the game off the board.
You mean 340?
yes.
343. You should start the chessboard as Chess960 tells you.
When you see a fork on the board, you pick it up. lol