# 5,000 Signs You Don't Know Enough About Chess

• 9 months ago · Quote · #721

951. When your opponent tells you, "Double check!", you double-check the current position on the board

• 9 months ago · Quote · #722
y2721 wrote:

944. You can't tell the difference between "A good Knight" and "A good night".

945. You think that there is a mate in 1.

There are many mate in 1 puzzles, and it happens during games, too.  Not 1. XxX#

• 9 months ago · Quote · #723
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• 9 months ago · Quote · #724
comet2311 wrote:

950. If you think you can beat me... ;-)

I could beat you in my sleep

• 9 months ago · Quote · #725
levi223 wrote:
comet2311 wrote:

950. If you think you can beat me... ;-)

I could beat you in my sleep

Wow, I didn't see 950.  I guess all of those GM's don't know much since they'd think they could take a 1452 pointer.

• 9 months ago · Quote · #726

952. You move your pawn to the end of the board and declare, "King me"

953. You roll some D&D dice to determine how much "mana" your rook has.

954. You point behind your opponent and shout, "My god! What in the world is that thing!?" When he turns to look, you spin the board around in a hope that he won't notice that he's suddenly losing.

• 9 months ago · Quote · #727
chessplayer11 wrote:

952. You move your pawn to the end of the board and declare, "King me"

953. You roll some D&D dice to determine how much "mana" your rook has.

954. You point behind your opponent and shout, "My god! What in the world is that thing!?" When he turns to look, you spin the board around in a hope that he won't notice that he's suddenly losing.

Mana and D&D dice?  You must be combining different games.

• 9 months ago · Quote · #728
chessplayer11 wrote:

952. You move your pawn to the end of the board and declare, "King me"

953. You roll some D&D dice to determine how much "mana" your rook has.

954. You point behind your opponent and shout, "My god! What in the world is that thing!?" When he turns to look, you spin the board around in a hope that he won't notice that he's suddenly losing.

952 has been said several times.

• 9 months ago · Quote · #729

955.  You claim to have won by checkmate while forgetting that it was actually Chuck Norris that allowed your checkmate.

956.  You give your promoted pawns beards and claim they're Chuck Norris, can move to any square on any turn, and that they can't be captured since they also move during the opponent's turn.

957.  You combine (bad) Chuck Norris and (bad) chess jokes.

• 9 months ago · Quote · #730

958. You say check when it is checkmate and checkmate when it is check
959. You only play 1-0 games
960. You only play 0-1 games
961. All your games as black come out as 1-0
962. All your games as white come out as 0-1
963. You think that a bullet game is when you fire pieces at your opponent's king
964. You say you need work on the 9 queen checkmate
965. You resign when you have 2 queens because your opponent has 2 pawns
966. You think that you can win this endgame as white:

• 9 months ago · Quote · #731

Boom!

#967 You lose this end game.

I'm not even sure this is possible in a real game, but it might be.

• 9 months ago · Quote · #732

458. You think Garry Kasporov is that "Garry" is the first name of the snail in SpongeBobSquarePants and "Kasporov" is the last name

• 9 months ago · Quote · #733
yourChess wrote:

458. You think Garry Kasporov is that "Garry" is the first name of the snail in SpongeBobSquarePants and "Kasporov" is the last name

Sorry meant 968

• 9 months ago · Quote · #734
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• 9 months ago · Quote · #735
yourChess wrote:

458. You think Garry Kasporov is that "Garry" is the first name of the snail in SpongeBobSquarePants and "Kasporov" is the last name

959. You misspell "Kasparov."

• 9 months ago · Quote · #736

960.You play this game as White.

• 9 months ago · Quote · #737
ClavierCavalier wrote:

Boom!

#967 You lose this end game.

I'm not even sure this is possible in a real game, but it might be.

Looks possible

• 9 months ago · Quote · #738

#962. You try to fork two protected pawns with a queen and after caturing one of them you feel so proud of yourself for being so brilliant.

#963. When you look at chess notation you think that 0-0 means that white and black both lost.

#964. You are confused when you see 0-0-0, and think that there was a third player in the game.

#965. When you promote your pawn you always choose a rook because you think that castles are bigger than queens.

#966. After 1. e4 e5 you try to capture the e5 pawn with your own, after failed attempts you reboot your computer because you think there's a glitch.

• 9 months ago · Quote · #739

997. You lose and say it was a practice game.

998. You think you need a driver's lisence to play blitz.

999. You've never heard of threefold repitition.

1000. You think you can't win because you think that would be murder.

• 9 months ago · Quote · #740
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