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686. You call this the King's Gambit:
687. When you think a chess clock is used for seeing world times
688. If You cannot lotto the back row in Random Chess.
689. If you think that when a pawn moves up 3 spaces on its first move, it turns into a gorilla. (actual real-life quote from a beginner)
690. When you constantly hang your pieces and think you've just made a sound sacrifice.
691. When you think that a sound sacrifice is listening to the spice girls while you are playing chess.
692. You always play the same opening and keep swaping the correct move order, going into the same damned weak position, despite repeatedly consulting the correct order in books.
693. When you always see how to mate your opponent 6 moves before, and establish brilliant and deadly mating nets, but you always get mated after you've made the first move.
694. When you think that a mating net is some kind of online marriage bureau.
695. When you keep moving your pieces one square further or closer than the square you meant to.
696. When you think a Knight fork is a piece of cutlery with the handle made in the shape of a Knight.
697. You think the night's tour is when you go on a tour of a knight's castle.
699. You think you can win this game:
700. You set the pieces up like this and still lose:
Talk about a sacrifice!
White has a mate in 3. Is that supposed to be the joke?
Yeah-White doesn't know enough about chess to find the mate!
Hi, I go by ClavierCavalier, and I welcome you to planet Earth. This is a chess website. Using a primative invention we call the internet, mankind is able to play chess with people across the world, as well as search youtube, wikipedia, and porn. Don't worry, you'll soon be addicted to all of these once we get you started! This thread on this web based forum is about jokes pretaining to people who don't know anything about chess. A joke is something that causes humor, which is an illogical human emotion.
701. You try moving your king on your first move702. You try moving your queen on your first move703. You try moving your bishop on your first move704. You try moving your rook on your first move705. You say the only piece that you can't move on your first move is your knight706. You say your c-pawn has the power to see anything on the board 707. This is the solution to your "tactics" puzzle:
708. You think you are a GM when you reach a rating of 800709. You think you are an IM when you reach a rating of 900710. You think you are an NM when you reach a rating of 950711. You call yourself an FM when you reach a rating of 600712. You have a chess clock set for 5 minutes, and you say, "It isn't 5:00!"
714. You don't know enough about chess to reach the position above
LOL Grandmaster3141! What I want to know is how you got the computer to make those kinds of moves.
716. When you think "en passant" is the french name for a move called "the fish" (true story)
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