12751 Players currently online!
Man vs. Machine - good luck!
Turn-based games at any time!
Vote for the best move to win!
Do you have what it takes?
Sharpen your tactical vision!
Get advice and game insights!
Learn from top players & pros!
View millions of master games!
Your virtual chess coach!
Perfect your opening moves!
Test your skills vs. computer!
Find the right private coach!
Can you solve it each day?
Bring it all together!
Beginners, start here!
Make friends & play team games!
News from the world of chess!
Search all Chess.com members!
Find local clubs & events!
Who's the best of your friends?
Read what members are saying!
This Hessian guy is a troll right?No one is that stupid.
can someone please escort the 3 amigos off the thread ?
i just want to get the end of netzach's story!!
is that too much to ask ?
What kind of escort are we talking about? Lol.
what do you call people who troll in a chess forum on bad jokes and put down people
the real joke and it is quite sad way too much time on their hands
That guy attacks me everytime I post a comment, this is without any provocation whatsoever from me. What would you do, let his comments slide? I doubt it.
LOL: You're new around here, I'm guessing.
Some hae meat and canna eat, And some wad eat that want it; But we hae meat, and we can eat, Sae let the Lord be thankit.
I have a great joke.Two chess players are entered in a tournament. They play a great game and become loyal friends. One day, one sleeps with the other's wife. Their friendship deteriorates and eventually one murders the other.
I think its funnier the other way. What do I mean?
Two men meet and become friends. Joe sleeps with the Bob's wife, who just shrugs it off. Then they play a game of chess, and Joe swindles a win out of a theoretically drawn rook and pawn ending. Bob murders him.
Well, ok, it isnt really funny either way.
Two guys are playing chess in the forest, when one of them notices a fast approaching bear. He shrugs slightly, then continues calculating his move. The second player, on seeing the bear, suddenly sweaps all the pieces into his tournament bag and stands up, preparing to run.
Player #1 - "What are you doing? You can't outrun a bear!"
Player #2 - "I don't have to outrun the bear. I just have to outrun YOU."
Two gentlemen are playing chess in a tournament hall by a large window. They notice a long funeral procession outside, with dozens of cars following a hearse. The player on move removes his cap and places it over his chest until the procession passes.
Player #1 (leaning over and whispering) "I know we shouldn't talk during a game, but I had to tell you what a noble gesture that was."
Player #2 "Well, it was the least I could do. We were married for 42 years."
Lol, Brilliant. I like 189 and 191.
Two chessplayers are flying a small airplane while engaging in a game of chess. They notice, belatedly, that they are low on fuel. Desperately, between glances at the board, they look around for an airfield to land on. Finally they see one, and glide while still making moves, where they land and roll off the end of the runway, with the nose wheel getting stuck in the dirt. Chess pieces scatter all over the cockpit.
Player #1 "Boy! That was the shortest runway I have ever seen!"
Player #2 (Turning his head from side to side) "Yeah....but look at how WIDE it is!"
Thanks, I guess I should have stopped while I was ahead.
The first one in the entire thread that actually made me laugh...
I have a "Sick Joke" book, written in the 70s. It's got a joke about two men on the golf course. They're playing golf, when a funeral procession goes by. One man removes his hat, and places it over his chest til it gets by. His opponent comments on what a nobel gesture that was. Other man's reply, "Yes, we would have been married 30 years, next june." :)
I got arrested the other day playing chess in the middle of the street. I said to the policeman...
"Is it coz I is black?"
credit to Milton Jones
I've heard worse.
My people are going to contact their people.
"2015 European Individual Championship Round 10 Hosts GM Alon Greenfeld and GM Ronen Har-Zvi"
3/6/2015 - Kasparian - Manvelian, Erevan 1939
by OneEyedFred 3 minutes ago
What would be the rating of a top chess player in the late 1800s today
by Eseles 7 minutes ago
If you could change one rule of chess,what would it be?
by kaptenk 12 minutes ago
Podium Prediction Plus (PPP) - "Petrov Memorial (rapid) 2015"
by bartiscool 17 minutes ago
my tournament rules and how I set up my tournaments now
by BIGKINAK 19 minutes ago
what tactic book help u get over that hump
by bgianis 20 minutes ago
Windows Phone 8 Beta Testers Needed
by anurajd 30 minutes ago
Wachten tot Sint Juttemis
by RomyGer 40 minutes ago
by arindam_rao 42 minutes ago
by You-Lost-And-Run 53 minutes ago
Why Join | Chess Topics |
Help & Support |
© 2015 Chess.com
• Chess - English
We are working hard to make Chess.com available in over 70 languages. Check back over the year as we develop the technology to add more, and we will try our best to notify you when your language is ready for translating!