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A chess player was always hanging out at the chess club, much to the annoyance of his wife. She would call the club three or four times a night.  He often wouldn't take her calls because he was concetrating on his game.  One night his friend answered the club phone when his wife called asking to speak to him. His friend, to play a joke on him, said "Oh, Harry -- he didn't come in tonight. But I did see him walking hand-in-hand with a beautiful young lady. They were laughing and getting into a taxi when I saw them." There was a pause on the other end of the line -- then his wife said cheerfully "Thank God he's just having an affair -- I was afraid he was at that damn chess club again."

Bobby Fischer walks into a bar.  He walks up to the bartender and says "I'll have a chessboard."  The bartender, confused, says "I don't have a chessboard...what can I get you to drink?"  Bobby then screamed about the bar being run by jews and had a highly publicized meltdown, forever shaming him.