Joke told from Jose Raul Capablanca's perspective:
"I was playing in a tournament in germany one year when a man approached me. Thinking he just wanted an autograph, I reached for my pen, when the man made a startling announcement. 'I've solved chess!' I sensibly started to back away, in case the man was dangerous as well as insane, but the man continued: 'I'll bet you 1000 marks that if you come back to my hotel room I can prove it to you.' Well, 1000 marks was 1000 marks, so I humored the fellow and accompanied him to his room."
"Back at the room, we sat down at his chess board. 'I've worked it all out, white mates in 12 no matter what.' I played black with perhaps a bit incautiously, but I found to my horror that white's pieces coordinated very strangely, and that I was going to be mated on the 12th move!"
"I tried again, and I played a completely different opening that couldn't possibly result in such a position, but after a series of very queer-looking moves, once again I found my king surrounded, with mate to fall on the 12th move. I asked the man to wait while I ran downstairs and fetched Emmanuel Lasker, who was world champion before me. He was extremely skeptical, but agreed to at least come and play. Along the way we snagged Alekhine, who was then world champion, and the three of us ran back up to the room."
"Lasker took no chances, but played as cautiously as could be, yet after a bizarre, pointless-looking series of maneuvers, found himself hemmed in a mating net from which there was no escape. Alekhine tried his hand, too, but all to no avail."
"It was awful! Here we were, the finest players in the world, men who had devoted our very lives to the game, and it was all over! The tournaments, the matches, everything - chess had been solved, white wins."
About this time Capa's friends would break in, saying "Wait a minute, I never heard anything about all this! What happened?"
"Why, we killed him, of course."
Oh yeah he is right sorry for the mix up
dimetri martin wasnt the first to tell that joke...
"A computer beat me in chess, but it was no match when it came to kickboxing" - Emo Philips
haha, always cracked me up.
I don't get it
How a sexy blond secretary fooled two Grandmasters..
Once upon a time two grandmasters shared the same office and had the same beautiful, hot, blond sexy secretary..
On one day the blond challenged them both to a game of chess, claiming to end at least one game in a win, or two in a draw.. she had only one condition: she could play the games at the same time.
The GM's accepted and so the games begin:
First she let GM 1 playing white make a move, then she went to GM 2 and made GM 1 move. GM 2 answers with a black move witch she took to answer GM 1 first move and so on!
I think it was Alekhine but my memory may fail me here.
At a dinner table with a number of people around the table a lady with an admiration not to say infatuation, asked Alekhine what he would prefer to have, a nice evening with her or to play a game of chess, he wittedly responded illico, right away, it all depends on the position my dear.
Absolutely not, I am French and in the middle age it meant to render the arms or to surrender and in chess it means I adjust a piece on the board and if you do not mention this, the rule is that you cannot take it back but must play it, hence the famous game between Monsieur de Kermur, Sire de Légal against Saint-Brie in Paris 1750, at the 4th move Légal touches a piece and withdraws, the Chevalier de Saint-Brie then states the rule, piece touched piece moved. And the rest is history, one of the best move I have ever seen and to this date occasionnally I use it and it still works.
if you cannot find the game ask me I will do a trasncript for you in Excel or try to find it on the internet. A very cool move!!
What do you mean best moves? Was the move he was forced to make the best move? Or just good for pointing out the rules? :/
Great jokes all round however :D
Here we go again who are you responding to?
The Legal mate is :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRRT8j2TUsc
The parade is naturally;
5...Nxe5 which leaves black a piece up. 6. Bxf7+ Ke7 7. Nd5# 1-0
amusing
the kasparov joke was tyt
Nice...
Who won? The ....blond or the GM or was it a drawÉ
Join Chess.com for free to add your comment! Already a member? Then login now to comment.