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Why do you not want to light your opponent's hair on fire during a chess game?
Because it will cost you the match.
Gee, talk about a hot topic!
Why would this be especially bad when playing with a wooden chess set?
Because you could lose game, set, and match...
lol... did you come up with that yourself?
Yes, I'm afraid so!
Here's another idea I've come up with - I think this is original anyway.
It's for players who like to play game-after-game of chess in grueling fashion and who don't know when to stop.
I call it the The 50 Draw Rule:
If 50 draws in a row have gone by without a bathroom break or a nap, either player may automatically call the next game a draw before it has even begun to allow for a bathroom break or a nap before commencing game 52, however if either side has a win at any point during the fifty games, rather than a draw, then one must restart the count from the beginning. If at any point during the 50 games one's opponent drools on the board, one may automatically declare that game a draw, as well.
Chess walks into a bar and orders 4 shots of whiskey.
The bartender pours the shots and asks, "Celebrating something?".
"Yes", chess says, "My first BJ".
The bartender says, "Here, let me buy you a beer.".
"No thanks.", Says chess, "If this doesn't get the taste out of my mouth, nothing will."
You know you're getting old when you get winded playing chess.
I just came to this thread to check my hair - perfect as usual.
Q: What does the stalematee get when he/she was ahead in the game?
Why didn't the king go on his daily walk?
He heard there was going to be a pawn storm.
Alekhine's guns don't kill pieces. Pieces kill pieces.
Hillbilly pawn = backward pawn.
What's the difference between good bishops and bad bishops? Bad bishops got caught.
Q: Why did the grandmaster promote his pawn to a queen when he had a chance to capture his opponent's queen instead?
A: He wanted to make piece, not war.
Why was Magnus banned from the seafood restarurant?
He kept ordering PAWNS and lauging hysterically.
how do chess players eat food?
>>>>Using a FORK!
I prefer putting my opponent's queen on a skewer, makes the sex life better too.
Why don't they play chess in The Castro? All the players want 2 queens.
har har har
AAAAAA that's what "meet me at the castro" means in a song I discovered recently.... thanks :D
What was the bar like where you heard that song?
"Sinquefield Cup Highlights - HOSTS GM Alex Yermolinsky and GM Melik Khachiyan"
Stockfish 6 CRUSHED (Not using the ARB system) in 5 moves!
by Robert0905 a few minutes ago
How'd you great chess players get so great?
by Zigwurst a few minutes ago
by dashkee94 7 minutes ago
by alex-rodriguez 9 minutes ago
Who do you think was the best chess player of all time?
by Yang1000 14 minutes ago
The most Helpfull chess tips by me
by Becky_the_Stabber 15 minutes ago
Playing 1. e4 as White
by ylblai2 16 minutes ago
ChessTV - It's Happening!
by zealandzen 21 minutes ago
The Backyard Professor
by cryptoff 25 minutes ago
by mkkuhner 26 minutes ago
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