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Grandmaster Ejected From Championship


  • 9 weeks ago · Quote · #1

    melvinbluestone

    In a bizarre turn of events, a grandmaster was unceremoniously removed from the National Chess Championship of the Grand Dutchy of Didd, a tiny, picturesque country in eastern Europe.. Fyodor Flopovitch, who's fortunes have taken a serious downturn in recent years, lost a game to an unrated amateur, Floyd Smoot, and then apparently became completely unglued, unhinged and just plain crazy, and had to be forcibly hauled out of the playing hall, kicking and screaming.

    The Grand Dutchy of Didd boasts a long and distinguished history in chess, having produce two class B players and a few talented patzers. Their annual championship is held every seven years. Here's a pic from the opening ceremonies.......

    GM Flopovitch, whose career has been a rollercoaster ride from the beginning, saw his rating soar to an astonishing 2758, and just as quickly plunge, in a matter of days, below 2000.

    Here's the game that precipitated Fyodor's crazed behavior......

     
    Immediately following the game, Flopovitch jumped atop the playing table, knocking chess pieces all over the place, and shouted "Sic semper tyrannis!" He then lunged at the startled Smoot, and after delivering a few sloppy rights, was quickly smacked-down with a well-aimed left from Smoot. A few minutes later, security guards 'escorted' the downed woodpusher out of the premises, and into the parking lot....... and hopefully, into the ash-heap of history.
  • 9 weeks ago · Quote · #2

    LesuhAn

    Dr. Seuss! :D

  • 8 weeks ago · Quote · #3

    AllogenicMan

    And yes, that's quite right as although I wasn't in the immediate surroundings of the ensuing foray, I paid witness to the account of Flopovitch's alleged tribunal in testimony to article IV.D/309-z(xviii), stating: Reparations to that of the party[s] so involved - or otherwise inviolable to the intentions enacted in favour of impositions thus attributed as such - in lieu of sanctions towards maligned grievances so incurred, must - by bylaw enforcement to heresy or otherwise in unorthodox judgement of said anti-prophylactic chess position[s] so deemed disputed - and in accordance to that of the convention[s] bearing testimony in that regard - be justified such that the interests [in question] of all bodies of chess authorities [et al] involved (or bearing witness to the general public bodies of those in plebislative plenipotentiary plenitude; i.e. misunderstating of the ratifications understood to be 'as is', and 'all that', etc.) be governed within the jury's exclusive right of appeal to the committee's right- or left-wing coup d'etat, outright unanimous of any 'check' [or 'bad cheque'] to whomever may decipher as such -- Chess Judge Seuss ... and henceforth, ultimately being detained into the same cell with the deflated Flopovitch - subsequently correcting his analytical position following [his stupefying] 666...dxe1=N+!?! offers counter-draw[?!?] - released the both of us not only out of captivity, but into the annals of chess history, which largely led up to the current chess events of today!

    So, yes, great story!

    And that's the way 'I' see it! ...

  • 8 weeks ago · Quote · #4

    melvinbluestone

    Poppin' porcupines! People, please, plebislative plenipotentiary plenitudes play paltry parts, possibly. Perhaps......

    Anyway, yes, Dr. Seuss was actually from the Kingdom of Didd, and was an avid chess player. Here is one the few recorded games he played against Flopovitch. It's from the 1968 Didd Open. Seuss finished about in the middle of the pack, but Fyodor, alas, charcteristically finished dead last.....

    The records show "white resigned". Actually, witnesses stated Flopovitch jumped up after black's 16th move, and shouted "Stella! Stella!" At that point, tournament director Blanch DuBois called security guards and the crazed Flopovitch was hauled out of the playing hall.

  • 8 weeks ago · Quote · #5

    LesuhAn

    I heard Dr. Seuss was Stella's first love and exclusively traveled by streetcar.

  • 8 weeks ago · Quote · #6

    melvinbluestone

    LesuhAn wrote:

    I heard Dr. Seuss was Stella's first love and exclusively traveled by streetcar.

    There have been rumours circulating for years about some kind of a an affair involving Dr. Seuss and Stella. But Seuss rarely traveled by streetcar. In fact, he drove like a madman, often careening about in a sportscar with an odd assortment of passengers....... goats and mice and foxes. Oh, yeah, and a strange plate of green ham. Stella couldn't handle it, which is probably why she eventually took up with that rather brutish fellow, Stanley. 

  • 8 weeks ago · Quote · #7

    LesuhAn

    Who am I to argue with photographic evidence! I wonder if the 8 fingers and the fur was a stumbling block in their relationship?

  • 8 weeks ago · Quote · #8

    varelse1

    LesuhAn wrote:

    Dr. Seuss! :D

    .

    I get a Grandmaster to resign, I'm not gonna care what Doctor it is. A win is a win!!!

  • 8 weeks ago · Quote · #9

    LesuhAn

    varelse1 wrote:

    LesuhAn wrote:

    Dr. Seuss! :D

    .

    I get a Grandmaster to resign, I'm not gonna care what Doctor it is. A win is a win!!!

    Sure, Dr Seuss, Dr Zhivago, Dr Oz, Dr Dre, Dr Spock, Dr Drew or Dr Doolittle... I'd take a win against any of them, Hehe!

  • 8 weeks ago · Quote · #10

    melvinbluestone

    Flopovitch's Grandmaster title has always been rather questionable. Especially suspect is the fact that there are  no recorded games where the guy actually scores a win! In fact, there's only one draw on record among all the losses, and that was against his eight year old nephew, Theodore. Doubtless, the kid took pity on his hapless uncle, and offered to split the point in a rather lopsided position........

    Flopovitch's nephew, Theodore. Here's the final position from their game:

  • 8 weeks ago · Quote · #11

    AllogenicMan

    melvinbluestone wrote:

    Flopovitch's Grandmaster title has always been rather questionable. Especially suspect is the fact that there are  no recorded games where the guy actually scores a win! In fact, there's only one draw on record among all the losses, and that was against his eight year old nephew, Theodore. Doubtless, the kid took pity on his hapless uncle, and offered to split the point in a rather lopsided position........

     

    Flopovitch's nephew, Theodore. Here's the final position from their game:

     

    'Wow!' - amazing! ... I'll bet Flopovitch still pressed on though, huh? - say, due to 'betting' on Black's [#?]...g1=B[?!?] stalemate - yes/no?

  • 8 weeks ago · Quote · #12

    melvinbluestone

    Actually, Flopovitch quite humbly accepted the draw offer. But he certainly does have a stubborn streak. In the Celebrity Chess Challenge, he fought on in a hopeless position against Gilbert Gottfried for over a hundred moves. The game finally ended when the TD, after repeated requests to end the 'confounded game', smashed the clock and had security personnel, once again, drag Flopovitch out of the hall. Gottfried said "I just learned how to play this morning! I guess I got lucky.". On the way out, Flopovitch muttered something to the effect of "this shall not stand......"

    Gottfried at the Celebrity Chess Challenge.

    Below is the final position from his game with Flopovitch.

  • 8 weeks ago · Quote · #13

    unique1234567890

    Aflac!!!!!!!!!!!

  • 8 weeks ago · Quote · #14

    AllogenicMan

    melvinbluestone wrote:

    Actually, Flopovitch quite humbly accepted the draw offer. But he certainly does have a stubborn streak. In the Celebrity Chess Challenge, he fought on in a hopeless position against Gilbert Gottfried for over a hundred moves. The game finally ended when the TD, after repeated requests to end the 'confounded game', smashed the clock and had security personnel, once again, drag Flopovitch out of the hall. Gottfried said "I just learned how to play this morning! I guess I got lucky.". On the way out, Flopovitch muttered something to the effect of "this shall not stand......"

     

    Gottfried at the Celebrity Chess Challenge.

    Below is the final position from his game with Flopovitch.

     

    Surprised that idiot Gottfried (who thinks he's so 'funny') even got that far; personally, I'd like to shoot him right between the eyes during one of his 'acts'.


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