Thank you, brother :)))
Laughter is the best medicine
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One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, ''How much is the yellow one?'' The assistant says, ''$2000.'' The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it's so expensive. The assistant explains, ''This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast.'' ''What about the green one?'' the man asks. The assistant says, ''He costs $5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes.'' ''What about the red one?'' the man asks. The assistant says, ''That one's $10,000.'' The man says, ''What does HE do?'' The assistant says, ''I don't know, but the other two call him boss.''
:)))
I am sorry. I do not speak English, so I am unable to tell funny for you 
That was good Mikado. Tell more! lol
Another good thread with comedy is the 'jokes' thread under the off-topic section.
A plumber attended to a leaking faucet at a neurosugeon's house. After a 2-minute job, he demanded $75.
"I don't charge this amount even though I'm a surgeon."
"You're right -- that's why I switched from surgery to plumbing!"
Was lucky enough sit at a table with Magnus Carlsen once after an event.
Unfortunately, the table cloth was checkered.
It took Carlsen 2 hours to pass the salt.
(oldie but goodie)
was it knigh? :)))
kleelof wrote:
Was lucky enough sit at a table with Magnus Carlsen once after an event.
Unfortunately, the table cloth was checkered.
It took Carlsen 2 hours to pass the salt.
<bing-badda-boom>
I was driving down the highway the other day, when I saw a one-legged man hitchhiking. I slowed my car to a stop, rolled down the window, and said, "Hey, buddy. Hop in!"
Just for you JD :
Q. How do you make a strawberry shake?
A. Put it in the freezer.
Q. What is a vampire's favourite fruit?
A. A neck-tarine!
Q. What school subject is the fruitiest?
A. History – because it is full of dates!
Q. What fruit teases you a lot?
A. A Ba na..na..na..na..na!
Q. What kind of apple has a short temper?
A. A crab apple.
Q. What happens to grapes when you step on them?
A. They wine!
Q. Why did the banana go to the doctor?
A. Because it wasn’t peeling well.
I identify with the "crab apple" :-\
LOLZ :-)
JamieDelarosa написал:
Hop in!
Hard :)))
There was a terrible explosion at a French cheese factory. All that was left was de brie.
A husband and wife go to a restaurant. The waiter approaches the table to take their order.
"I'll have your biggest, juiciest steak," says the husband.
"But sir, what about the mad cow?" asks the waiter.
"Oh," says the husband, "she'll order for herself."
For the men, some ladies may not like this.
A woman comes downstairs one morning to see her husband crouched at the kitchen table, head in hands. She asks, "Honey, what's wrong?"
He replies, "Remember that day, 20 years ago, when your Dad said I either had to marry you, or, go to jail?"
"Yes", she says.
Husband: "I would've been out today."
Mersaphe написал:
An Italian man is in bed with a blonde Scandinavian woman.
After a few minutes, he asks her "you finish" ?
She says no.
Later he asks her again, she still says no.
After a while he is really tired and about to fall asleep
He asks her one last time "you finish" ?
She sighs and says,
"No, I'm Swedish"
Sorry. I do not understand - I'm Russian :) Scandinavian woman is frigid? or she just does not know Italian words? :)
The motive of this forum is to spread out the happiness in everyone's life.
All are welcome.