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My Chess Poem


  • 15 months ago · Quote · #21

    chesshole

    learningthemoves wrote:
    chesshole wrote:
    learningthemoves wrote:

    Very nice ChessKid!

    You've got the gift. Keep making more and keep them all together in a safe place.

    what gift is that?

    Of creative expression through writing.

    If your first instinct was to take out your mental red pen and try correct "errors" then it explains why you'd have to ask.

    i don't watch a movie or any piece of art and think, 'this has a lot of mistakes, but i'm sure the people involved all tried hard'  I feel like my criticism was constructive.  His idea was good, but it could have been more and I think he recognized that, judging from his post.  I also recognized that he is very young in my follow-up post. 

     

    When you say 'you've got the gift' it sounded to me like you are saying he is a prodigy or exceptionally talented or something.  i guess if you mean it is great that he is exploring poetry at a young age then i agree it's a good thing.  I wouldn't say 'he's got the gift' in that context though.

  • 15 months ago · Quote · #22

    Here_Is_Plenty

    ponz111 wrote:

    chesshole

    That is the point-he is only 13. He shows imagination. While your points about grammer and mistakes are correct--to me imagination and trying are more important.

    +1, Ponz.  There are a couple of points of perspective in it which I like (namely the pawn renaming itself and the kings sitting down to agree to draw).  One thing I would advise is when the writer looks back on it, if he doesn't like it then put it to one side and reshape the core ideas at a later stage.  Certainly do not take to heart any of the comments here when, as Ponz correctly identifies, it is effort and imagination that matter.

  • 15 months ago · Quote · #23

    learningthemoves

    chesshole wrote:
    learningthemoves wrote:
    chesshole wrote:
    learningthemoves wrote:

    Very nice ChessKid!

    You've got the gift. Keep making more and keep them all together in a safe place.

    what gift is that?

    Of creative expression through writing.

    If your first instinct was to take out your mental red pen and try correct "errors" then it explains why you'd have to ask.

    i don't watch a movie or any piece of art and think, 'this has a lot of mistakes, but i'm sure the people involved all tried hard'  I feel like my criticism was constructive.  His idea was good, but it could have been more and I think he recognized that, judging from his post.  I also recognized that he is very young in my follow-up post. 

     

    When you say 'you've got the gift' it sounded to me like you are saying he is a prodigy or exceptionally talented or something.  i guess if you mean it is great that he is exploring poetry at a young age then i agree it's a good thing.  I wouldn't say 'he's got the gift' in that context though.

    That's okay buddy. I can see where you're coming from too. But, we can agree to disagree. Having the desire to creatively express yourself through writing isn't about comparing yourself with someone else or embodying some kind of "prodigy" status that others can confer upon you. 

    When you truly have the gift, it doesn't matter what others think.

    And it can be developed.

    The most important part is the desire there and it's quite obvious ChessKid has it.

    I understand you when you say it doesn't make sense to you what I see.

    The gift itself is enough to just be as it is.

    It doesn't depend on "potential" to perform at some higher level years later so that someone with the "appropriate" credentials can confer their most noble validation or anything of the like.

    It's the gift where you can be alone and your world crashing down outside all around you, but you express yourself in writing even if nobody else reads it.

    And especially during those times when no other soul but your own reads it.

    If you have that passion, you understand it and can recognize it in others.

    If you don't, then you'll appraise it as just another "thing" instead of part of you.

    Because that's what the gift is. It's expressing a part of you.

    So within that context, that's my take on it.

    Some of the best writers use odd formatting, grammar and sentence structures. It's not because they can't adhere to a more rigid and correct technique. 

  • 15 months ago · Quote · #24

    DrFrank124c

    chesshole wrote:
    trakoz wrote:
    chesshole wrote:
    i really like the imagery you use in 'the wonder that is AMMA'  kudos for doing poetry in a non-native language.

    The whole world is our family.

    What is "Non-native language"?

    foreign language.  My native language is English, so it didn't feel right to say 'foreign language'

    The native language of most Australians is English unless the op is an aboriginal.

  • 15 months ago · Quote · #25

    chesshole

    DrFrank124c wrote:
    chesshole wrote:
    trakoz wrote:
    chesshole wrote:
    i really like the imagery you use in 'the wonder that is AMMA'  kudos for doing poetry in a non-native language.

    The whole world is our family.

    What is "Non-native language"?

    foreign language.  My native language is English, so it didn't feel right to say 'foreign language'

    The native language of most Australians is English unless the op is an aboriginal.

    ok?  is trakoz the OP's alter ego or something?  work on your reading comprehension Tongue Out

  • 15 months ago · Quote · #26

    WalangAlam

    This one is for your correction please:

      

    Ahh Chess, the Royal game

    Who invented it? What’s his name?

    It captured the hearts and minds of many affecionado’s

    Sometimes you wonder where they get their bravado!

    Young and old alike, beginners or masters quite the same

    Everyone that has caught this bug becomes insane!

    Time flies away so quickly on the board

    There is not a moment you’d get bored

    You won’t even notice that you haven’t had a meal

    Boy oh boy, no wonder the world is spinning around

    Your stomach is aching and your head is burning to the ground!

     

     

     

  • 15 months ago · Quote · #27

    WalangAlam

    Thanks!

  • 15 months ago · Quote · #28

    chess11kid

    WalangAlam wrote:

    This one is for your correction please:

      

    Ahh Chess, the Royal game

    Who invented it? What’s his name?

    It captured the hearts and minds of many affecionado’s

    Sometimes you wonder where they get their bravado!

    Young and old alike, beginners or masters quite the same

    Everyone that has caught this bug becomes insane!

    Time flies away so quickly on the board

    There is not a moment you’d get bored

    You won’t even notice that you haven’t had a meal

    Boy oh boy, no wonder the world is spinning around

    Your stomach is aching and your head is burning to the ground!

     

     

     

    I realy like it.

  • 15 months ago · Quote · #29

    Kody_R

    nice

  • 15 months ago · Quote · #30

    maheshroks

    not bad for a 13 year old!

  • 15 months ago · Quote · #31

    chess11kid

    thanks

  • 15 months ago · Quote · #32

    Dr_Cris_Angel

    Chesshole, your comments WERE given constructively, nothing mean about them.  

    Chess11kid, well done, good imagination and creativity.  Do me a favor... fix the "there" to "their".  :)      I'm not putting you down -- we ALL make mistakes.  I'm a writer who has had things published yet I still have a friend look over EVERY SINGLE THING that I write in seriousness including my dissertation - he knew nothing of the subject material but he could still check for spelling, grammatical and other typographical errors (and found plenty of them, believe me!)

    WalangAlam -- I liked your poem as well!!  Since you asked for a correction, I'll give one -- I only took a very quick glance (in other words, I was reading for enjoyment and amusement, not to be critical) and the only thing that stuck out was an apostrophe that didn't belong.

    It captured the hearts and minds of many affecionado’s

    That's saying, "it captured the hearts and minds of many affecionado is".  

    Otherwise, both poems were quite enjoyable, asmusing and entertaining.  I know SQUAT about poetry, I'm only saying what I like and I liked both.  Thank you both for sharing.   I actually feel honored that you did so as writing can be a very personal thing.  

    Thank you.  

  • 15 months ago · Quote · #33

    blumzovich

    I'm a published poet (though it's been decades) and this is quite good!  Keep reading poetry (borrow books from your English-teacher dad), and the poetry you write will get even better.

  • 15 months ago · Quote · #34

    chess11kid

    Thankyou

  • 15 months ago · Quote · #36

    Conflagration_Planet

    I had the gift, but I returned it to the store for a refund.

  • 15 months ago · Quote · #37

    Here_Is_Plenty

    NM-Dale wrote:

    I think affecionado`s might be an unusual spelling.

    Silly wabbit.

  • 15 months ago · Quote · #38

    WalangAlam

    Thanks guys for the feedback!

  • 15 months ago · Quote · #39

    electricpawn

    Grasp the brain washed pawn,

    Forget the burning past,

    Those mistakes are gone,

    Develop your minor pieces fast.

     

    The game requires precision,

    A burning soul with a cold eye,

    Mathematical vision,

    Leave them asking why.

     

    When the position folds,

    When the decision is made,

    Don't let the game leave you cold,

    Force the other guy to fade.

  • 15 months ago · Quote · #40

    Kody_R

    i cant only write one stanzas ..you wrote a gazillion


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