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Your best rating was unrated.
Pretty much your only weapon of attack is the pawn storm. And it always pretty much resembles the opening seconds of the scene below. In fact it's never nearly so organized.
There is a book by GM Larry Christianson, which I think is titled similar to, "The Storming of the Pawns"..something like that. May want to check the book out, plobooo. :)
1) The USCF sends you a generous check, requesting you sign up to be a life-long non-member.
2) Your flag refuses to move out of the fallen position before the game.
3) Your digital clock gets stuck in time delay. When you try to fix it, words flash on the screen: "Trust me, I'm doing you a favor."
4) You bring rocks and cement to every tournament, because you play the Stonewall.
5) Your opponent offers to play the game with only his king, and he beats you.
6) The tournament director has made a sign which he puts next to your board, saying "Sorry, that move is illegal." He points to it every time you put your hand on a piece.
7) As white, you move your bishop from b7 to a8. You then take your opponent's knight off the board, claiming you took it "en passant."
8) You always promote your pawn to whatever piece started the game on that square.
9) You get repeatedly crushed by Cassie and Pete on Chessmaster.
10) Opponents have stopped playing you because you insist on sliding your knights to their new squares during the game, bulldozing any hapless pieces that get in their way!
You are "loosing" often.
Your opponent offers you a draw on the first move of the game and you accept it.
You play the game with a condom on your king because it gets mated so often.
Wait, wouldn't it have to be all the opposing pieces wear them? Because they're the ones doing the mating to the King? I wonder where he gets mated?........oops, right in the checkered place I suppose. Maybe it should be checkered-mate. Yeah I know, bad taste, bad taste!
If you think the Bongcloud has no value in the game
If you lose to The World like 2 Chess.com staff are about to do!!!
they are great players, the world just is better
Indeed, but not in this particular game. They've partnered up against the rest of us! :P
You resign because they took your favorite pawn.
oh my god XD
That is toooo funny.
Felix qui potuit rerum cognoscere!!!
You lose to Fool's Mate twice in a row.
You keep waiting for your horse (not knight) to gallop on its own!
Your opponent breaks wind(several times) and simply says "en passant" each time.
And you sit there suffering vowing to learn the rules better.
You still refer to the little guys as prawns.
Where is unfollow button?
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Chess Troll for the Year!
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I am quitting chess.
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12/10/2013 - Easterwood-Williams 2004
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QG - Tarrasch vs Albin Counter Gambit
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Tough luck for Aronian 5.5 hour game!!!
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Predictions: How Long Will He be Champ?
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