16966 Players currently online!
Man vs. Machine - good luck!
Turn-based games at any time!
Vote for the best move to win!
Do you have what it takes?
Sharpen your tactical vision!
Get advice and game insights!
Learn from top players & pros!
View millions of master games!
Your virtual chess coach!
Perfect your opening moves!
Test your skills vs. computer!
Find the right private coach!
Can you solve it each day?
Bring it all together!
Beginners, start here!
Make friends & play team games!
News from the world of chess!
Search all Chess.com members!
Find local clubs & events!
Who's the best of your friends?
Read what members are saying!
That would indicate that you're pretty damned lousy at battleships too.
1) The USCF sends you a generous check, requesting you sign up to be a life-long non-member.
2) Your flag refuses to move out of the fallen position before the game.
3) Your digital clock gets stuck in time delay. When you try to fix it, words flash on the screen: "Trust me, I'm doing you a favor."
4) You bring rocks and cement to every tournament, because you play the Stonewall.
5) Your opponent offers to play the game with only his king, and he beats you.
6) The tournament director has made a sign which he puts next to your board, saying "Sorry, that move is illegal." He points to it every time you put your hand on a piece.
7) As white, you move your bishop from b7 to a8. You then take your opponent's knight off the board, claiming you took it "en passant."
8) You always promote your pawn to whatever piece started the game on that square.
9) You get repeatedly crushed by Cassie and Pete on Chessmaster.
10) Opponents have stopped playing you because you insist on sliding your knights to their new squares during the game, bulldozing any hapless pieces that get in their way!
lol. BTW, Stanley (the "random" monkey on chessmaster) never loses to Fool's Mate.
i m very bad chess player but i want to learn :(
can anyone please teach me how to master this game ?Add me to ur facebook account so we can chat and play online :) . my profile ishttp://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002947988414
(yet another addition to the list)
... when most of your enjoyment comes from insulting players after you lose.
You resign if your opponent opens with Na3
Several of your games are included in the book "how not to play chess"
you comment on thi... oh sorry wrong thread
Your opponent plays the Evans Gambit and you answer with "I'm all in!"
NN is your second.
Worse, NN is your role model.
U r a bad chess player if u play 1f3,e5 2g4 and ur opponent says that it's over and u answer "What the hell r ya sayin? we've just starting "
You are a bad chess player if you ask your opponent to teach you how to write the chess notations during a tournament game.
Bad chess players fail to operate en passent properly in 3D Chess.
"It must be humbling to suck on so many levels". - Sheldon Cooper.
You're human. [Let's face it, none of us good players in the truest sense]
The TD asks for your chair before the game starts explaining that someone needs to change a light bulb. When you start to question why he says you'll be finished before the light bulb is changed.
When you think you made a good move you yell "Yahtzee!"
Another sign you're bad chess player is if you can't spell "in passaunt'.
The only chance you get to beat your opponent is wearing a ridiculous hat and hoping it distracts them.
Tata Steel 2015
by incantevoleutopia a few minutes ago
Won after trash talking after queen blunder
by mrsnckl 2 minutes ago
by BenTen24075 6 minutes ago
by kayak21 11 minutes ago
by siekensat 11 minutes ago
Paying for nothing?
by Reine639 15 minutes ago
1/25/2015 - Mate in 2
by RodCarroll 17 minutes ago
Admins: Spam alert, you may wish to check this
by Caedrel 19 minutes ago
Beating people OTB is awkward
by Reb 23 minutes ago
GM Negi's 1.e4 books appropriate for class players?
by TheGreatOogieBoogie 34 minutes ago
Why Join | Chess Topics |
Help & Support |
© 2015 Chess.com
• Chess - English
We are working hard to make Chess.com available in over 70 languages. Check back over the year as we develop the technology to add more, and we will try our best to notify you when your language is ready for translating!