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Signs you're a bad chess player


  • 3 years ago · Quote · #161

    BorgQueen

    That would indicate that you're pretty damned lousy at battleships too.

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #162

    frrixz

    zirtoc wrote:

    1) The USCF sends you a generous check, requesting you sign up to be a life-long non-member.

    2) Your flag refuses to move out of the fallen position before the game.

    3) Your digital clock gets stuck in time delay.  When you try to fix it, words flash on the screen: "Trust me, I'm doing you a favor."

    4) You bring rocks and cement to every tournament, because you play the Stonewall.

    5) Your opponent offers to play the game with only his king, and he beats you.

    6) The tournament director has made a sign which he puts next to your board, saying "Sorry, that move is illegal."  He points to it every time you put your hand on a piece.

    7) As white, you move your bishop from b7 to a8.  You then take your opponent's knight off the board, claiming you took it "en passant."

    8) You always promote your pawn to whatever piece started the game on that square.

    9) You get repeatedly crushed by Cassie and Pete on Chessmaster.

    10) Opponents have stopped playing you because you insist on sliding your knights to their new squares during the game, bulldozing any hapless pieces that get in their way!


    lol. BTW, Stanley (the "random" monkey on chessmaster) never loses to Fool's Mate.

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #163

    milijones111

    i m very bad chess player but i want to learn :(

     

    can anyone please teach me how to master this game ?

    Add me to ur facebook account so we can chat and play online :) . my profile is
    http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002947988414

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #164

    Elroch

    (yet another addition to the list)

    ... when most of your enjoyment comes from insulting players after you lose.

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #165

    theunderground702

    You resign if your opponent opens with Na3

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #166

    MoonlessNight

    Several of your games are included in the book "how not to play chess"

     

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #167

    jetfighter13

    you comment on thi... oh sorry wrong thread

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #168

    jtt96

    nate23 wrote:

    Several of your games are included in the book "how not to play chess"

     


     +1!

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #169

    Kolob68

    Your opponent plays the Evans Gambit and you answer with "I'm all in!"

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #170

    AnthonyCG

    NN is your second.

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #171

    Elroch

    Worse, NN is your role model.

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #172

    Efim_Bogoljubov

    U r a bad chess player if u play 1f3,e5 2g4 and ur opponent says that it's over and u answer "What the hell r ya sayin? we've just starting "

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #173

    posporov051560

    You are a bad chess player if you ask your opponent to teach you how to write the chess notations during a tournament game. Wink

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #174

    xqsme

    Bad chess players fail to operate en passent properly in 3D Chess.

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #175

    pauix

    xqsme wrote:

    Bad chess players fail to operate en passent properly in 3D Chess.


    "It must be humbling to suck on so many levels". - Sheldon Cooper. Laughing

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #176

    Elroch

    You're human. [Let's face it, none of us good players in the truest sense]

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #177

    ploboo

    The TD asks for your chair before the game starts explaining that someone needs to change a light bulb. When you start to question why he says you'll be finished before the light bulb is changed.

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #178

    chessdude46

    When you think you made a good move you yell "Yahtzee!"

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #179

    theunderground702

    Another sign you're bad chess player is if you can't spell "in passaunt'.

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #180

    chessdude46

    The only chance you get to beat your opponent is wearing a ridiculous hat and hoping it distracts them.


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