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Signs you're a bad chess player

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #161


    That would indicate that you're pretty damned lousy at battleships too.

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #162


    zirtoc wrote:

    1) The USCF sends you a generous check, requesting you sign up to be a life-long non-member.

    2) Your flag refuses to move out of the fallen position before the game.

    3) Your digital clock gets stuck in time delay.  When you try to fix it, words flash on the screen: "Trust me, I'm doing you a favor."

    4) You bring rocks and cement to every tournament, because you play the Stonewall.

    5) Your opponent offers to play the game with only his king, and he beats you.

    6) The tournament director has made a sign which he puts next to your board, saying "Sorry, that move is illegal."  He points to it every time you put your hand on a piece.

    7) As white, you move your bishop from b7 to a8.  You then take your opponent's knight off the board, claiming you took it "en passant."

    8) You always promote your pawn to whatever piece started the game on that square.

    9) You get repeatedly crushed by Cassie and Pete on Chessmaster.

    10) Opponents have stopped playing you because you insist on sliding your knights to their new squares during the game, bulldozing any hapless pieces that get in their way!

    lol. BTW, Stanley (the "random" monkey on chessmaster) never loses to Fool's Mate.

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #163


    i m very bad chess player but i want to learn :(


    can anyone please teach me how to master this game ?

    Add me to ur facebook account so we can chat and play online :) . my profile is

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #164


    (yet another addition to the list)

    ... when most of your enjoyment comes from insulting players after you lose.

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #165


    You resign if your opponent opens with Na3

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #166


    Several of your games are included in the book "how not to play chess"


  • 3 years ago · Quote · #167


    you comment on thi... oh sorry wrong thread

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #168


    nate23 wrote:

    Several of your games are included in the book "how not to play chess"



  • 3 years ago · Quote · #169


    Your opponent plays the Evans Gambit and you answer with "I'm all in!"

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #170


    NN is your second.

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #171


    Worse, NN is your role model.

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #172


    U r a bad chess player if u play 1f3,e5 2g4 and ur opponent says that it's over and u answer "What the hell r ya sayin? we've just starting "

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #173


    You are a bad chess player if you ask your opponent to teach you how to write the chess notations during a tournament game. Wink

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #174


    Bad chess players fail to operate en passent properly in 3D Chess.

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #175


    xqsme wrote:

    Bad chess players fail to operate en passent properly in 3D Chess.

    "It must be humbling to suck on so many levels". - Sheldon Cooper. Laughing

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #176


    You're human. [Let's face it, none of us good players in the truest sense]

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #177


    The TD asks for your chair before the game starts explaining that someone needs to change a light bulb. When you start to question why he says you'll be finished before the light bulb is changed.

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #178


    When you think you made a good move you yell "Yahtzee!"

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #179


    Another sign you're bad chess player is if you can't spell "in passaunt'.

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #180


    LaughingOK...Theunderground702,ReasonableDoubt, N2uhc and Wizeyed are just great. Guys, i have not laughed this good and long in a year; all of you made me laugh to the floor! Great wit. Not only do we have great players on chess.com, we have great humorist as well. Last but not least, i look and feel like the picture presented by Wizeyed after i lose. THANKS GUYS!Laughing

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