Fair enough. Now, if anyone says it...just lay your king down. 

You lose to Topalov in 2011 with a French defence.

That's a lot of moves.

You think that "walking the dog" (re: yo-yo) is a chess tactic.

A Pollack (...hey, I live in Chicago) an Italian and a Mexican are working on a high rise. They break for lunch, and the Italian says, "if my wife packed sausage and peppers again, I'm jumping!" He opens his lunch box, sees the sausage and peppers and jumps to his death.

The next day the Pollack and the Mexican break or lunch. Same thing, the Mexican sees tacos and jumps to his death. On the third day the Pollack jumped.

At his funeral, the Italian's wife and the Mexican's wife were talking to the Pollack's wife and said, " this is so horrible, we don't understand any of it." "Neither do I," said the Pollack's wife, "my husband packed his own lunch!"

Only nasty people make ethnic jokes.

Paranoia appears to be one of your delightful character traits. I don't care what your ethnicity is. I'm Irish: have at it.

Your friend (the only one you have) asks if you know any chess tricks (such as: http://www.angelfire.com/nf/chess/tricks.html). 

Your response: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4QL4GPF5wEw

Clever.

why are all these people making comments on en passant?

Bad chess habits that need to be broken:

http://www.chess.com/forum/view/general/bad-chess-habits-that-need-to-be-broken

<iframe border="0" frameborder="0" allowtransparency="true" width="574" height="501" src="http://www.chess.com/emboard.html?id=767413"></iframe>

ooooops, just walked into the wrong forum, sorry for scare everyone,

Dang!  I didn't think you could set a clock for that long a time constraint!  They must be using a digital! 

You are such a bad chess player that people pay you just to learn what not to do.

That picture looks awfully familiar.

its Kill Bill great revenge movie

I know, I have seen it multiple times.