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You lose against the French Defense
You play chess against a girl, and she literally can't even.
And yet she checkmates you by accident.
Your opponent announces mate in 147 when you have a mate in one and you resign believing in your opponent
You you did this to your oponent and it was your only win.
You say your favourite chess player is Polgar, after they ak you which, you say " There is more than one??!!!!! "
Signs you're a bad chess player
You play 1. e4 and your opponent says “Mate in 6.”
Members of your chess club start chuckling when you walk through the door.
You discover that a tournament is not a good place or time to learn the “en passant” rule.
Half your chess pieces desert the game.
Your idea for a king sacrifice doesn't go very well.
At your last tournament, you tied for last place with a monkey named “Bobo.”
You consult a chess engine for help with your game, and it tells you that you should have resigned 5 moves ago, and would probably be best if you forget chess and take up stamp collecting.
After your queen sacrifice, you tell yourself, “At least he won't be using that pawn any more.”
In the middle of your game, you ask your opponent, “Wait, was I playing white, or black?”
Your best victory was winning on time when your opponent had to go to the hospital.
You play French defense
You are not a bad chess player if you play French!
Your biggest satisfaction in chess comes from pointing out a pawn blunder in another player's win in the game showcase forum.
Or You're biggest satisfaction comes from winning a game where your opponent blunders a pawn early on:)
You ponder which takes more skill: mate in 1 in or hole in 1.
"There are 24 pieces on the chessboard" - Magnus Carlsen
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