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signs you should stick to chess and leave comedy to the pros:
1. you posted in this thread (I include myself).
Don't be so disparaging of yourself. Get into the spirit of things.
For example, your dour ogre avatar is funny. Your bullet rating is even funnier.
My 3 year old daughter ready to kick my ass. LOL She decided to attack me with a KING LOL
My rating is 1469 FYI.
But that doesn't answer the question... How is it possible to get over 2000 on tactics training...which we are told is 95% of chess...but be unable to break 1500 in game play?
This is a generalized question, not intended for you in particular...except that your particular experience may shed some light on the matter.
I got up to about 1800 on chess tactics. Then they replaced the puzzles with different ones. Now I am having difficulty in getting above 1500. I do believe that I will get back to 1800...but only after a lot of work.
Tactics training, seems to me, requires the one perfect combination...and to get it in blitz timing. In regular game play, one might get a good, playable combination...let's say, win the Q but didn't get the mate...and go on to win.
Also, in TT, if it takes an extra 20 or 30 seconds to get the exact, perfect combo...your goose is cooked and you might just as well have gotten the absolute worst answer.
And there is more...
Maybe one gets really good at the tactical puzzles from repeated play...I see the same puzzles repeat...whereby one knows the right answer immediately (the smothered mate by knight is one of them) and the rating goes up.
Yet, in real play, you rarely see most of these tactical situations...and you don't have knowledge as to how to create them...and if you don't know openings or endings because you spent 95% of your time practicing tactics...well, then, you are screwed.
So...what can you tell me from your experience? Thanks.
What constitutes a bad chess player? Maybe it's someone who plays like a pro during "book" while using a database in correspondence chess but falls off a cliff on the first move out of book.
Or the 2,500 tactical training whiz who falls for opening traps, every time, such as fool's mate or scholar's mate because he didn't feel it necessary to learn openings.
Or the guy who loses in the endgame when it is K with 2 pawns and the enemy who only has K and 1 pawn...because he spent 95% of his time practicing midgame tactics and didn't think end game calculations mattered.
Yeah...I know these aren't funny. But, they are sad.
I'm starting to think that spending a lot of time on tactical puzzles is helpful...but it sure isn't the "95%". That's just a big, fat lie.
I play "up" a section normally at chess tourneys. and tactics trainer is just easier for me since I know theres a tactic there.
This is a fun thread, mind you I have only read a few of the 70 plus pages. Even " Old Grumpy " ( aka Mr.e4--- ) is getting into the act, telling jokes and also funny stories about Bobby Fischer. Who knew that Mr.e4--- even had a sense of humour ? So let's keep the Fun with Chess going, hmmm Fun with Chess, interesting idea lol.
No that was a compliment, I enjoyed your stories about Bobby Fischer and his cute little Pocket Chess Set, etc, very funny items.
Back in 1972, Bobby warming up for the big game, huddled under the magic chess blanket bestowed upon him by his best pal, your uncle Louie.
I think he's up in the Himalayas...above the clouds...by the look of things:
Periodically, your King topples over on it's own.
no thats just a sign your king is an alcoholic
either that or he has been mated
a few times
but back on topic, you thick that the scholars mate is worth using against a 1200 who has about 500 games under his belt
You think that someone who is 1200 and has played 500 games is experienced.
You lose to Fool's Mate twice in a row.
You lose to fools mate once.
Good chess player...bad chess player...who cares (except, maybe your mom)?
Bobby certainly never let these things bother him, as exemplified (sweet word) by the photo of him below, visiting on your uncle Louie's horse farm up in the Catskills with his favorite mare, named "Cuddles".
And now we are finding the reason why Bobby gave your uncle Louie his most valuable possession in the whole, wide world...his genuine, authentic pocket magnetic chess set that had brought him so much fame (unfortunately, little fortune...but that's not important if you love the game).
If you had a pal with the good graces of an uncle Louie, wouldn't you in gratitude give him everything you owned, too? Hah? Can't hear you. Of course you would!
Hey I thought Bobby said he would never mix sex and chess after that one disasterous loss.
Oh sweet Jesus, not the Bongcloud...
You may be a bad chess player but, in your special ops arsenal, you are master of the Heimlich manuever and the shin kick...either or both to be applied to the enemy in case of mate onset. Hey...it's war, isn't it?
You think that the French defense is too passive.
The outline of Iceland and a Viking longship on the blanket suggest it was an Icelander's gift, though...
Uncle Louie comes from a quintessential, chess-loving Nordic family.
In fact, his great, great, etc. grandfather (Leif Ericson) was a notoriously bad chess player.
Aunt Emily says that the blanket was originally part of the dowry for Uncle Louie's great, great grandmother.
Not only of intrinsic monetary value (a rare weave, indeed) but, more importantly, the blanket is a token of great love and affection and bestows esoteric and mystical chess prowess to the wearer. Sometimes.
Uncle Louie wore it on one occasion, but since he was such an implacably bad chess player, it "did him no good".
Bobby, on the other hand...the blanket helped propel him to the apex of the chess world. Proves the point.
Here we are in 1972, one year after the Petrosian match. Bobby is being trained by uncle Louie to give hard-hitting body blows in the event anyone across the board were to say: "Good game."
Notice how uncle Louie tucked the genuine, authentic Bobby Fischer pocket magnetic chess set into the top portion of the bag so that Bobby can play with himself while simultaneously spanking the monkey (slang for hitting a heavy bag).
BTW, here is a photo of aunt Emily from "back in the day" with a brand, spanking new body bag that she and uncle Louie (who, again, is taking the photo) bought for their dear pal Bobby. However, by this time Bobby had finished spanking the monkey and would never return to such...or to chess...not for the rest of his natural life (of course, he did play a few rounds here and there...a million bucks per...with assorted middle eastern shahs, oil barons and princes...but that was strictly off the record, so it doesn't count).
"Your body has to be in top condition. Your chess deteriorates as your body does. You can't separate body from mind." -- Bobby Fischer
Bobby Fischer was all heart. He always had a kind and encouraging word for everybody, both to their face and behind their back.
For example, considering what an awful chess player...nowadays people say "bad chess player", but that's just dumb -- if you are "bad" you are a sinner and will go to Hell...so don't blame chess if you end up in Hell!
But I drift... Here is an example of how kind Bobby was, when referring to uncle Louie's god-awful chess play:
"People have been playing against me below their strength for fifteen years." -- Bobby Fischer
by dibora2012 a few minutes ago
We need more amateurs to post their annotated games.
by Desiderata 3 minutes ago
by Master_Valek 3 minutes ago
Your tactics rating vs your OTB rating
by netzach 4 minutes ago
by chesskingdreamer 5 minutes ago
Who's the best player of all time?
by t_taylor 6 minutes ago
Is there any chance that a 1300 rated player can beat a 2700 rated player?
by FelixPlatypus 7 minutes ago
How do you create...
by Master_Valek 8 minutes ago
Stuff Non-Chess Players Say
by winerkleiner 9 minutes ago
i can't escape chess but i must!
by FelixPlatypus 9 minutes ago
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