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when you think you can refute the sicilian by not playing 1.e4
When you played this game:
When you can't figure out why you can't win one...
When you aren't good at checkers...
...or the infamous Bongcloud Attack.
You thought simple algrebra was difficult, because you couldn't picture what the teacher meant by abstract thinking...
You can almost beat your little sister, but she won't give you a chance because, she is tired of playing you and doesn't like chess...
when you set up the board with the knight and bishops on the wrong squares and nobody notices until the queens get taken
Your local chess team doesn't let you join because they think you'd be a bad influence on the other teamates.
When you play this game:
I actually played in a game almost exactly like the game in post #1282.
FYI I was white.
Signs you're a bad chess player
You play 1. e4 and your opponent says “Mate in 6.”
Members of your chess club start chuckling when you walk through the door.
You discover that a tournament is not a good place or time to learn the “en passant” rule.
Half your chess pieces desert the game.
Your idea for a king sacrifice doesn't go very well.
At your last tournament, you tied for last place with a monkey named “Bobo.”
You consult a chess engine for help with your game, and it tells you that you should have resigned 5 moves ago, and would probably be best if you forget chess and take up stamp collecting.
After your queen sacrifice, you tell yourself, “At least he won't be using that pawn any more.”
In the middle of your game, you ask your opponent, “Wait, was I playing white, or black?”
Your best victory was winning on time when your opponent had to go to the hospital.
I actually got mated in 6 moves by an Excalibur Squire once as a kid.
You run analysis programs on the lowest strength rating so you can understand what it's talking about.
You try to move to Russia because you heard somewhere that Russians are good at chess.
You have someone that comes with you to OTB events not as your consultation team member, but to wake you up when it's your turn.
#1275 is the funniest post ever
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World chess champion Magnus Carlsen could be stripped of title
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What would you recommend White should do after 1.e4 e5 2.Nf3 f6 3.Nxe5 Qe7
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Lasker-(I frogot), 1/2-1/2
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Combinations and Traps.
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