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when you think you can refute the sicilian by not playing 1.e4
When you played this game:
When you can't figure out why you can't win one...
When you aren't good at checkers...
...or the infamous Bongcloud Attack.
You thought simple algrebra was difficult, because you couldn't picture what the teacher meant by abstract thinking...
You can almost beat your little sister, but she won't give you a chance because, she is tired of playing you and doesn't like chess...
when you set up the board with the knight and bishops on the wrong squares and nobody notices until the queens get taken
Your local chess team doesn't let you join because they think you'd be a bad influence on the other teamates.
When you play this game:
I actually played in a game almost exactly like the game in post #1282.
FYI I was white.
Signs you're a bad chess player
You play 1. e4 and your opponent says “Mate in 6.”
Members of your chess club start chuckling when you walk through the door.
You discover that a tournament is not a good place or time to learn the “en passant” rule.
Half your chess pieces desert the game.
Your idea for a king sacrifice doesn't go very well.
At your last tournament, you tied for last place with a monkey named “Bobo.”
You consult a chess engine for help with your game, and it tells you that you should have resigned 5 moves ago, and would probably be best if you forget chess and take up stamp collecting.
After your queen sacrifice, you tell yourself, “At least he won't be using that pawn any more.”
In the middle of your game, you ask your opponent, “Wait, was I playing white, or black?”
Your best victory was winning on time when your opponent had to go to the hospital.
I actually got mated in 6 moves by an Excalibur Squire once as a kid.
You run analysis programs on the lowest strength rating so you can understand what it's talking about.
You try to move to Russia because you heard somewhere that Russians are good at chess.
You have someone that comes with you to OTB events not as your consultation team member, but to wake you up when it's your turn.
#1275 is the funniest post ever
"Reykjavik Open, Round 9 | Commentary by FM Ingvar Johannesson & Fiona Steil-Antoni"
Any girls here play chess?
by TheGrobe a few minutes ago
What's this Nonsense about 200 Bans maximum?
by Conquistador 2 minutes ago
by TheGrobe 2 minutes ago
Please add a "block" link to the live chess page
by now_and_zen 3 minutes ago
Is there any defense against pathetic players?
by ozzie_c_cobblepot 4 minutes ago
by ozzie_c_cobblepot 7 minutes ago
Creating traps vs positional play
by N3l50n 9 minutes ago
Abandoning a game
by now_and_zen 10 minutes ago
3/11/2014 - Too Much Attack, Not Enough Defense
by lytonn 12 minutes ago
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