15248 Players currently online!
Man vs. Machine - good luck!
Turn-based games at any time!
Vote for the best move to win!
Do you have what it takes?
Sharpen your tactical vision!
Get advice and game insights!
Learn from top players & pros!
View millions of master games!
Your virtual chess coach!
Perfect your opening moves!
Test your skills vs. computer!
Find the right private coach!
Can you solve it each day?
Bring it all together!
Beginners, start here!
Make friends & play team games!
News from the world of chess!
Search all Chess.com members!
Find local clubs & events!
Who's the best of your friends?
Read what members are saying!
When you play this game:
I actually played in a game almost exactly like the game in post #1282.
FYI I was white.
Signs you're a bad chess player
You play 1. e4 and your opponent says “Mate in 6.”
Members of your chess club start chuckling when you walk through the door.
You discover that a tournament is not a good place or time to learn the “en passant” rule.
Half your chess pieces desert the game.
Your idea for a king sacrifice doesn't go very well.
At your last tournament, you tied for last place with a monkey named “Bobo.”
You consult a chess engine for help with your game, and it tells you that you should have resigned 5 moves ago, and would probably be best if you forget chess and take up stamp collecting.
After your queen sacrifice, you tell yourself, “At least he won't be using that pawn any more.”
In the middle of your game, you ask your opponent, “Wait, was I playing white, or black?”
Your best victory was winning on time when your opponent had to go to the hospital.
I actually got mated in 6 moves by an Excalibur Squire once as a kid.
You run analysis programs on the lowest strength rating so you can understand what it's talking about.
You try to move to Russia because you heard somewhere that Russians are good at chess.
You have someone that comes with you to OTB events not as your consultation team member, but to wake you up when it's your turn.
#1275 is the funniest post ever
You are a bad chess player when you think it is an honor to receive the Scholar's Mate.
And, instead of shoving off, you say: "Thank you sir, may I have another?"
When you buy your 11 yr old son the "How to beat your Dad at chess" book, only to find yourself reading it and learning loads!
When you think is difficult to avoid a fools mate...
You know that you are a bad chess player when...
When your opponent has to remind how your pieces can move legally...
To assess the position you count the taken pieces at the side of the board
...or the infamous Bongcloud Attack.
Do not mess up with the bongcloud!
Lol... I just got that book. So far so good... now all I have to do is convince my Dad to play me at chess (Both my Mom and Dad decided to quit playing me while they still had a 100% standing against me lol).
When you've just made a stinko move and your opponent sprays you in the face with lemon-scented bathroom deodorizer.
Seems you know what your talking about.
On my opinion every Grandmaster was once a beginner, we do mistakes, then learn, then improve then master the game, I love the quotes LOL
"Dortmund Sparkassen Chess Recap: Rounds 3-4 Hosts: GM Alex Yermolinsky and GM Melik Khachiyan"
WHY DO YOU PLAY CHESS ?
by marcomarco13 a few minutes ago
When a coward refuses to resign.......
by Darth_Algar a few minutes ago
Any idea when Version 3 will be out??
by PolarChess 5 minutes ago
7/2/2015 - Mate in 5
by bluebirdbattery 6 minutes ago
If Capablanca played Carlsen for the world champion match, who would win?
by SmyslovFan 7 minutes ago
by Angsa-Putih 8 minutes ago
Arena 3.5 and Houdini 1.5a
by EschewElucidation 9 minutes ago
by SCFL 12 minutes ago
Best way to learn openings. . suggestions please
by skotheim2 14 minutes ago
The paradox of perfect chess
by blastforme 14 minutes ago
Why Join | Chess Topics |
Help & Support |
© 2015 Chess.com
• Chess - English
We are working hard to make Chess.com available in over 70 languages. Check back over the year as we develop the technology to add more, and we will try our best to notify you when your language is ready for translating!