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Signs you're a bad chess player


  • 3 years ago · Quote · #1241

    thatrandomPERSAAAN

    When you play this game:

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #1242

    ker123

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #1243

    chessdude46

    I actually played in a game almost exactly like the game in post #1282.

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #1244

    chessdude46

    FYI I was white.

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #1245

    qbsuperstar03

    N2UHC wrote:

    Signs you're a bad chess player

    You play 1. e4 and your opponent says “Mate in 6.”

    Members of your chess club start chuckling when you walk through the door.

    You discover that a tournament is not a good place or time to learn the “en passant” rule.

    Half your chess pieces desert the game.

    Your idea for a king sacrifice doesn't go very well.

    At your last tournament, you tied for last place with a monkey named “Bobo.”

    You consult a chess engine for help with your game, and it tells you that you should have resigned 5 moves ago, and would probably be best if you forget chess and take up stamp collecting.

    After your queen sacrifice, you tell yourself, “At least he won't be using that pawn any more.”

    In the middle of your game, you ask your opponent, “Wait, was I playing white, or black?”

    Your best victory was winning on time when your opponent had to go to the hospital.


    I actually got mated in 6 moves by an Excalibur Squire once as a kid.

     

    More signs:

    You run analysis programs on the lowest strength rating so you can understand what it's talking about.

    You try to move to Russia because you heard somewhere that Russians are good at chess.

    You have someone that comes with you to OTB events not as your consultation team member, but to wake you up when it's your turn.

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #1246

    rye_yoo

    #1275 is the funniest post ever

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #1247

    chessdude46

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #1248

    Chess4001

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #1249

    ker123

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #1250

    chumtin

    [COMMENT DELETED]
  • 3 years ago · Quote · #1251

    e4nf3

    You are a bad chess player when you think it is an honor to receive the Scholar's Mate.

    And, instead of shoving off, you say: "Thank you sir, may I have another?"

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #1252

    wbilfc

    When you buy your 11 yr old son the "How to beat your Dad at chess" book, only to find yourself reading it and learning loads!

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #1253

    nameno1had

    When you think is difficult to avoid a fools mate...

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #1254

    Masked_Kane

    You know that you are a bad chess player when...

    1. ...the name of your signature opening is known as the "White Flag Gambit".
    2. ...when your club hands you the "Most Improved" trophy.
    3. ...when you cannot quite seem to find your queen on the board after a few moves.
  • 3 years ago · Quote · #1255

    nameno1had

    When your opponent has to remind how your pieces can move legally...

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #1256

    NinjaHedgehog

    87654321 wrote:

    To assess the position you count the taken pieces at the side of the board

    >:)


     XD

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #1257

    pauix

    Javan64 wrote:
    Nongxha wrote:
    When you think that you can defeat every rated player applying fools mate strategy.

    ...or the infamous Bongcloud Attack.


    Do not mess up with the bongcloud! Tongue out

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #1258

    sjpdna

    wbilfc wrote:

    When you buy your 11 yr old son the "How to beat your Dad at chess" book, only to find yourself reading it and learning loads!


    Lol... I just got that book.  So far so good... now all I have to do is convince my Dad to play me at chess (Both my Mom and Dad decided to quit playing me while they still had a 100% standing against me lol).

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #1259

    e4nf3

    When you've just made a stinko move and your opponent sprays you in the face with lemon-scented bathroom deodorizer. Sealed

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #1260

    dmarcheston1983

    Pr0c3550r wrote:
    N2UHC wrote:

    Signs you're a bad chess player

    You play 1. e4 and your opponent says “Mate in 6.”

    Members of your chess club start chuckling when you walk through the door.

    You discover that a tournament is not a good place or time to learn the “en passant” rule.

    Half your chess pieces desert the game.

    Your idea for a king sacrifice doesn't go very well.

    At your last tournament, you tied for last place with a monkey named “Bobo.”

    You consult a chess engine for help with your game, and it tells you that you should have resigned 5 moves ago, and would probably be best if you forget chess and take up stamp collecting.

    After your queen sacrifice, you tell yourself, “At least he won't be using that pawn any more.”

    In the middle of your game, you ask your opponent, “Wait, was I playing white, or black?”

    Your best victory was winning on time when your opponent had to go to the hospital.


    Seems you know what your talking about.

     

    lol

    On my opinion every Grandmaster was once a beginner, we do mistakes, then learn, then improve then master the game, I love the quotes LOL


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