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#1275 is the funniest post ever
You are a bad chess player when you think it is an honor to receive the Scholar's Mate.
And, instead of shoving off, you say: "Thank you sir, may I have another?"
When you buy your 11 yr old son the "How to beat your Dad at chess" book, only to find yourself reading it and learning loads!
When you think is difficult to avoid a fools mate...
You know that you are a bad chess player when...
When your opponent has to remind how your pieces can move legally...
To assess the position you count the taken pieces at the side of the board
...or the infamous Bongcloud Attack.
Do not mess up with the bongcloud!
Lol... I just got that book. So far so good... now all I have to do is convince my Dad to play me at chess (Both my Mom and Dad decided to quit playing me while they still had a 100% standing against me lol).
When you've just made a stinko move and your opponent sprays you in the face with lemon-scented bathroom deodorizer.
Signs you're a bad chess player
You play 1. e4 and your opponent says “Mate in 6.”
Members of your chess club start chuckling when you walk through the door.
You discover that a tournament is not a good place or time to learn the “en passant” rule.
Half your chess pieces desert the game.
Your idea for a king sacrifice doesn't go very well.
At your last tournament, you tied for last place with a monkey named “Bobo.”
You consult a chess engine for help with your game, and it tells you that you should have resigned 5 moves ago, and would probably be best if you forget chess and take up stamp collecting.
After your queen sacrifice, you tell yourself, “At least he won't be using that pawn any more.”
In the middle of your game, you ask your opponent, “Wait, was I playing white, or black?”
Your best victory was winning on time when your opponent had to go to the hospital.
Seems you know what your talking about.
On my opinion every Grandmaster was once a beginner, we do mistakes, then learn, then improve then master the game, I love the quotes LOL
You are a bad chess player when, right after you slam down your first move, you screech: "How do you like them apples...hah?!"
One time when I went to a tournament, someone played their queen from d1 to c3 against me. I told them that wasn't legak, and they said that the queen could move in L-shapes!!!
This was in a school tournament.
When you say that the king is the strongest piece.
You know that you are in trouble as a chess player when you always practice in front of a mirror, making gnarly faces.
Sadly, you expend more effort on facial contortions than the game.
And, you get highly indignant if someone has the brassy nerve to say "gg" when you lose (which is always). That's when you "go ape" on them.
Try to beat an engine as white without the engine's b8 knight
by Fear_ItseIf a few minutes ago
Is it possible that there are psychic chess masters?
by royalbishop 2 minutes ago
5/24/2013 - Winning With Technique
by Firestopr 5 minutes ago
Stuff Non-Chess Players Say
by tmodel66 8 minutes ago
Solid black openings for a beginner ?
by royalbishop 9 minutes ago
by HAIRoftheMONK 12 minutes ago
by Casual_Joe 14 minutes ago
A Challenge: Find Quickest Way to Promote the Pawn
by yeres30 17 minutes ago
What are the best openings?
by campbellh 19 minutes ago
We need more amateurs to post their annotated games.
by ajian 22 minutes ago
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