Here are some fun ways I have thought of to CHEAT, yes, CHEAT at CHESS!!! Please enter your own, as usual for my topics, afterwards...and please keep in mind, these are supposed to be HUMOROUS ways that are not real ways. I usually don't do the whole disclaimer thing, but people are getting way too uptight in the forums. Here we go...

 

1. Eat your opponent's piece when he looks away. Be sure to drink lots of fluids afterwards.
2. eBay sells mind-reading helmets...invest.
3. As when playing dominoes, build a little wall around your pieces with, yes, dominoes. A great defense except against the horsey.
4. Promote your Pawn to a Pawn and keep your opponent off guard.
5. Promote your Pawn to a Prawn and really keep your opponent off guard.
6. Make your user name something like "qtsii" and keep everyone wondering.
7. No smoking? YES smoking.
8. Scream, "You're cheating!" over and over and over until he resigns and the forum topic is locked by a chess.com staff member.
9. "I let you win to help you increase your rating."
10. Heart attacks happen every day. Play so terribly that your opponent codes from laughing. (This is what I usually do, but nobody codes.)

Now, I know this hasn't been my funniest post. I've been coming up dry lately for humor, but I know you guys can lend a helping post.

 

That is all. 

Stacy, you rule so much. You're list posts are the best. You are, as they say, full of win.

Get the "Lazy Susan Polgar", a chess table set on a smooth swivel for easy spinning while your opponent is distracted by Superman or a skateboarding puppy.

That's funny! Lazy Susan Polgar. hehehe

Hit the clock, then think about your move. If your opponent hits it to set your clock running, just flash him an exasperated look and hit it again.

 

Pick up your opponent's d pawn, put it in your mouth and swish it around a bit, then put it back. If he's willing to touch it, he deserves the win. 

I...don't know what to say to that. I prefer to sit here and slowly nod and act like I understand.

I'll keep that on the down low. Nobody's reading my posts, anyways. ;-)

"You could go against the Sicilian when death is on the line, definately a morgue toe tag game."

 Haha, Princess Bride, eh?

And keeping with Faye Dunaway's stratagem, there are two options that can be drawn from a true incident. Wherein, one player insisted he was unable to concentrate in the game due to his female opponent's choice of undergarments.

Hmmm...

Stacy, I just wanted to let you know that I read your post and laughed.

 

 

 

But I only laughed because you have Dwight as your avatar, not because of the post...

 

(sorry! :) ) 

erik wrote:

Stacy, I just wanted to let you know that I read your post and laughed.

 

 

 

But I only laughed because you have Dwight as your avatar, not because of the post...

 

(sorry! :) ) 

---

 Cold, man. Cold.

erik's as cold as ice,

 

erik's willing to sacrifice our love

 

 erik never take's advice,

 

someday he'll pay the price, I know

HowDoesTheHorseMove wrote:

Hit the clock, then think about your move. If your opponent hits it to set your clock running, just flash him an exasperated look and hit it again.

 

Pick up your opponent's d pawn, put it in your mouth and swish it around a bit, then put it back. If he's willing to touch it, he deserves the win. 

---

 someone actuallydid that to me in a game... he won... (it was a friendly game if you wonder)

We all have a Dwight Schrute at work. We all need a Dwight Schrute at work. No matter where you are posted to work, even if it is in the boiler room; there will be a Dwight Schrute.  

Fey_Fey wrote: We all have a Dwight Schrute at work. We all need a Dwight Schrute at work. No matter where you are posted to work, even if it is in the boiler room; there will be a Dwight Schrute.  

---

 i fear i am the Dwight Schrute of chess.com....

 when is that show coming back?? it was what held my life together... 

April 10

Assistant TO the Regional Manager.

Who is Jeff18? He is on 1.place on chess.com   Is he titled player? I am glad that he is here?  I would like to see his games but unfortunaly he delete his games :(

Here ya go.

 

and with Stanley's comment back...

 

ARE YOU FAN OF SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION?

Really great film.One of my favorite films.