Not really.

WHAT!  Shawshank Redemption is one of my all time favs!  Such a bad ass movie.

Good tactics, apart from you calling the knight 'horsey!'

I think calling the horsey a horsey is extremely funny. But then that's me. I also think that "How does the horsey move?" is funny. I like, "King me!", too.

1.  Whip out a deck of Knightmare Chess, having pre-rigged the deck to have the card 'Fireball' on top.  Then in the middle of game, send a Knight deep behind enemy lines, or adjacent a Queen and play the card, ultimately having the Knight committing kamikaze and taking down all pieces in the 8 adjacent squares.  Then insist that you've been playing Knightmare Chess this whole time, and wondered why this is the first card ever played all game.

2.  Whip out the Magic the Gathering card called 'Armaggedon' and play it, thus wiping all pieces from the board, ending in a draw.

3.  Cast permanent sanctuary on your King and then timestop on your opponent's King.  Then each turn, proceed to your opponent's King and capture it with your own.

4.  Do the unthinkable:  Urinate on your opponent's pieces.  Then resume play.  "Desperate times call for desperate measures!"

5.  Convince your opponent that you can play blind.  Then place a blindfold over your eyes and ask the opponent to move your pieces for you.  Then pick an easy piece to remember, and tell the opponent to move it to the square occupied by his/her King.  If they accuse you of committing an illegal move, accuse them back for rigging the board and taking advantage of a player playing blind.

6. Play on a thin board on a thin tabletop with magnetic pieces.  Then move pieces that the opponent is not paying attention to whenever an opportunity arises.  Ensure that the pieces you move provide you with positional advantage.  If the opponent questions an altered position, respond claiming that he or she was watching the board the entire game, which makes that happening highly unlikely.

7.  Insist that you play on a shot-glass or alcohol-driven chessboard.  Then kindly offer to set up the board with the drinks, ensuring that little to no alcohol goes into your opponents pieces, and then add extra to your own.  Then take advantage of the game later as your opponent becomes more and more drunk, while having a friend videotape it for future reference (or when he/she is sober).

8.  For girls:  Stuff the opposing pieces in your private areas prior to the match (or make it seem as close to the real thing as possible).  Then slowly reveal this feat if you feel you are losing.

9.  For guys:  Fart really heavily on the chessboard.  Then resume play.

10.  For kids:  Pick your nose and don't wipe your hands whenever you move your own pieces.  The opponent will feel less inclined to make captures.

Fey_Fey wrote: We all have a Dwight Schrute at work. We all need a Dwight Schrute at work. No matter where you are posted to work, even if it is in the boiler room; there will be a Dwight Schrute.  

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 There is a Dwight Schrute on every desk where I work.

ivandh wrote: Fey_Fey wrote: We all have a Dwight Schrute at work. We all need a Dwight Schrute at work. No matter where you are posted to work, even if it is in the boiler room; there will be a Dwight Schrute.  

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 There is a Dwight Schrute on every desk where I work.

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That I am afraid will be one Dwight too many in one section of work.

throw your opponent off... by making a seemingly useless queen pawn trade in the opening phase of the game.

smsjr723 wrote: throw your opponent off... by making a seemingly useless queen pawn trade in the opening phase of the game.

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 Ahahaha!!!  I tried that.  It didn't work  T_T'

See:  http://www.chess.com/forum/view/game-analysis/my-worst-game-on-chesscom

Ok, add this one:

As you get close to time control, tell them they are Chuck Norris and they must go save the world. As they are gone, they lose on time. Unfortunately, when they come back, they will roundhouse kick you to death CHEATER.

I came up with something. Before the game starts, kindly offer to set up the board by yourself. Make sure they aren't watching, and superglue a couple of their pieces to the board, so they can't move them. Make sure only to have a few glued. When your opponent discovers this feat, reason that you have gotten this far, you might as well finish the game.

Alternatively, when up against an opponent you know you can't beat, glue ALL of your pieces to the board. When they try to go, tell them that since they can't make any legal moves, it's a tie.

Then again, buying new chesssboards everytime might get expensive.

Wait until you are on the verge of being on the receiving end of c/m and tell your opponent that before the game began, you had clamped all of their pieces between your buttocks.

make your challenger knock over his king by accident, ergo forfeiting. if you play a very strict game (on a you touch you play basis), then this blunder will not be forgiven.

Also, if female, shirts that show cleavage and there is no way he is winning, ha! not that I would ever do such a thing, but I've seen it work before.

Challenge your opponent to a game, then convince them that since you don't have any chess pieces, to use candy. Explain it to them like this, "Okay, the red M&M is your king. The Blue one with no 'M' on it is a knight, the slightly rounder one is a bishop..." ect. Continously tell them things like: "No, that's your knight!" Or, "Yes it can go there, it's a Queen!"

Or make sure it is their favorite candy and tell them that whenever they lose a piece, they can eat it. They'll be more inclined to let you take pieces.