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Weak Masters Anonymous

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #1

    NM mefletcher

    An old web page I used to manage ... Chess humor

    Weak Masters Anonymous Logo

     

       
      The Home Page of Weak Master's Anonymous
       
      The Support Group for Especially Weak Chess Masters!


      Our Mottos: "Thank God for the Rating Floor!"
      "Our Weakness is our Strength!"
       
      Did you finally get that rating over 2200, but just can't seem to keep
      it there?
       
      Keep losing to your little sister despite 1000's of hours of study and
      years of tournament play?
       
      Did you blunder and lose to a cocky 1400 kid who wears a baseball cap backwards
      and ridiculed your play in the post-mortem?
       
      Did you lose on time (again) in a totally won position against an opponent
      rated 100's of points below you?
       
      Did you go to a tournament and play all 5 rounds "not in the best sporting
      form" and shed all the rating points you struggled for a year to get in
      one horrible tournament?
       
      Does this depress you, make you want to give u chess?
       
      We have the Support Group for You!
      Join WMA (Weak Masters Anonymous)
      Send your application today!
     

    WMA has its own "Newsletter"! This prolific author puts out his own
      internet source of chess wisdom whenever he feels like it!
       
      THE WEAK IN CHESS!
      (with apologies to Mark Crowther! (:) 
       
     

    Do you have a really good "Weak Masterism", or candidate for WMA Quote?
      Send them in
     
     
       

    Acting President:

    Michael Fletcher (Perennial Weak Master) 


    		Fish-at-large:


    		Kyle Kowalske "The Milwaukee Madman"


        Honorary President :
     


    		Joe Polgar (who could never beat his sisters!) 


    		Inspired by : 


    An Article about Arthur Bisguier which, among other things,

    discussed the concept of what a "Weak Grandmaster" was.  Most of us of course would be more than happy with our chess skills even if we ever got good enough to be a "weak Grandmaster!" This oxymoron was used as a basis for this page.
       
     
     

    Famous WMA quotes:
     

    "We have no Grandmasters Weaker than Raymond Keene" - A Soviet Grandmaster
     

    "How could I lose to this idiot?" - Nimzovich
     

    "Masters? Masters are ****heads! - Anonymous Grandmaster at the 1974 Ft. Wayne Open
     

    "I think I blunder more than other Grandmasters. Mostly I specialize in Rook Blunders, which I have done at least a dozen times!" - Pal Benko
     

    "Blunders rarely travel alone" - Karpov
     

    "It takes a strong player to realize how truly weak he is." - Tartakower
     

    "It was worse than a mistake - it was a blunder." - DePeaza
     

    "The Blunders are all there - waiting to be made." - Tartakower
     

    "Mate ends the Game." - Fletcher
     

    "Dubious - Therefore Playable" - Tartakower
     

    "Chess is a fairy tale of 1,001 blunders." -Tartakower
     

    "Rook endings are the most democratic endings of all, every player gets a chance to badly misplace his Rook." Anonymouus
     

    "It makes no difference whether you win or lose, until you lose." Anonymous
     

    "Chess has three phases: The first when one hopes one has an advantage;The second when one believes one has an advantage; And the third when one knows one is going to lose." Savielly Tartakower
     

    Understatement of the year? "I'm not a weak player" then 21 year-old GM Peter Svidler then three time Champion of Russia 
     

    "Push the pawns, open the files, double the rooks, give the mate" Fletcher & Krewson 1979
     

    "Problems - once solved - rarely stay that way." - Russell Ackoff (Not sure if Dr. Ackoff is a chessplayer, but hey I just liked that quote
       Euphamism for "I got crushed!"  "I was unable to solve the problems of the position in the time allotted." 
  • 3 years ago · Quote · #2

    TadDude

    On a serious note, some Weak Grandmaster news from the 2009 Queenstown Chess Classic in New Zealand.

    Perhaps FIDE can recognize this title since "Elite Grandmaster" was rejected.Laughing

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #3

    ItalianGame

    Big mistake from white! I ne'er fall for the scholar's or fool;s mate (because my opening move is always e4)

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #4

    NM mefletcher

    Irish_Chess_Player wrote:

    Big mistake from white! I ne'er fall for the scholar's or fool;s mate (because my opening move is always e4)

    Haha. Maybe that is the real reason Bobby Fischer always played 1. e4. 

  • 2 years ago · Quote · #5

    ItalianGame

    mefletcher wrote:
    Irish_Chess_Player wrote:

    Big mistake from white! I ne'er fall for the scholar's or fool;s mate (because my opening move is always e4)

    Haha. Maybe that is the real reason Bobby Fischer always played 1. e4. 

    true! I always play1. e4! I never play d4. Sometimes in OTB I may surpirise my opponent with 1. Nf3

  • 2 years ago · Quote · #6

    WGM Natalia_Pogonina

    Kasparov's quotes about tourists and GMs-woodpushers should also be included, not to mention some of Korchnoi's greatest rants! Laughing

  • 2 years ago · Quote · #7

    NM Reb

    Karpov once said any GM under 2650  is "weak".

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