So, I’m weary of this moral victory thing.  Amoral wins rock!  Specifically I’m referring to my perfect 0-12 record against Schachgeek (who approved of the use of his name).  Can’t I win once?  Just once?

Sigh.

Ok, the tale of the tape is I’m rated 1850, and he’s rated 2570.  A tall order indeed, but Bananarama became a household name at one point, so anything can happen, no?

So I’m looking for tips.  How does this chess paramecium nick a point off an opponent with opposable thumbs?

Here’s our most recent game.  I found it fun.  Hope you do so too!  Comments welcomed and encouraged.

I claim rights to the “LisaV Canary Islands” opening.  ;)

[Edit--I don't know any openings.  Should have mentioned that from the start.]

Just my few cents: I don't think trying to pull him out of book is a good idea, given his extremely high level. What I would try is to get my hands on a database of all his games and analyze all his losses very deeply and try to distinguish some patterns and opening choices.

there are, though, different courses of action if you're completely done with morals.

Stop thinking about your opponent's rating and play the best game of chess you know how.  In my experience lower rated players don't play as badly as they're supposed to and the higher rated ones don't play as great. That Rb8 move that freaked you out -- probably just a minor inaccuracy/waiting move... strong players will sometimes make waiting moves against weaker players because weaker players make a lot of errors -- rather than take chances or play a dangerous critical line the strong player hangs back in his fundamentally ok position and waits for an error to exploit. Either that or he saw something I don't ;)

I don't see why you are going out of book, with White, in correspondence chess! Book is your friend! Use it to maintain your first move advantage...

That said, I must admit 1.d4... 2...h4 is strangely appealing. While "LisaV's Canary Island's Opening" recognizes your role as originator -- I think it's truer to the "but-they-can't-even-dance-or-sing-or-anything!?" spirit of the opening to call it:

The Bananarama Attack.  And it should be played with an accompanying cocktail of the same name. (1 oz. Pyrat Rum, 1 oz. Creme de Banana, 1 oz. Pink Champage  Serve over cracked ice in collins glass with rim rubbed with cocaine. *Rolled thousand dollar bill makes a nice garnish.)

And what self-respecting cocktail/chess opening combination doesn't have a fight song to go with it?

I certainly wouldn't advise going out of book in correspondence chess. Your opponent has plenty of time to think and/or look up good responses to unorthodox moves...

Thanks for the advice!

To clarify and perhaps jiggle up some more feedback--I don't play ratings, I try to play the best moves I know (Rb1 excepted).  In his case, he's simply stronger and sees things I don't comprehend, until it's too late  lol.

Sticking to book openings.  I hear what everybody is saying, and it's sound advice.  Consider my conundrum.  His book has a million pages of openings, and he's good at all of them.  I don't have a book.  If we went Queen's Gambit vs. KID, I'm dead at move 4.  I suppose I could learn a few openings :), but short of that, I'm not sure what else to do.

Bananarama.  Oy, I knew mentioning them would bite me in the ass.  Hmm, normally I don't have the ego to prevent something like my (chess) opening from being referred to under someone else's name...but Bananarama???  Not a chance.

LisaV Canary Islands opening!!   :)

You could consult one of the several free online databases out there - do a Google search (I am not giving link here as it conflicts with the interests of the Game Explorer of chess.com for premium members), or get a premium membership and access Game Explorer of chess.com.

Or you can try one of the free chess software downloads which come with rudimentary chess databases.

Being lazy here...do the databases give the strategies/plans behind the openings? or just the first 7 moves?

They give all moves of all games. Of course best is to download one of the freely available ones to you computer and do some digging and research there yourself, perhaps build specific databases of your own, like a combination of styles, or your favorite players, or WC matches, or whatever you like. 

To be honest, I think you should've mentioned you don't have any opening books or don't use any databases, as I think that should rip off some 100~200 points from you against high level opposition.

Eek.  Sorry.

Is there time to study openings and still get laid?  ;)

That's 'cos they were fit.

Yes.

But you don't actually need to study openings to get to a reasonable middlegame in correspondence chess, you just need to use your database effectively.

I'm fit.  Can't sing either.

Should change my name to Grapefuittoots or something.

Oh, thank god.  Talk about using a database effectively.

Ok, back to chess, well, that's cool.  I didn't know!  Thanks!

OK, bring your openings round here then :)

To beat this guy, the only advice I can give is to play your best game of chess (don't let the rating affect your play too much, besides choice of opening perhaps). But you can't expect to win against someone 700 points higher than you even if you play your best. I like to play GM's in simuls to get experience with a really good player, but on the other hand when I try to play a good positional game (which always works against similar strength opponents) it's a little discouraging to get completely outplayed every time, as you think you're doing the right thing. I mean playing a GM, it's like no matter how thoughtful your ideas are you just know you'll end up losing. Maybe you're a draw if you're very lucky, but there's no way you're going to outplay one. Of course he isn't a GM though so if you want to get a win out of him then just play him 100 times, and you'll probably win or draw at least once.

2 h4... I can understand you want to get out of book, but really this isn't the way to do it. You could just play a lesser known d4 opening, maybe without c4 if you really want to avoid book.

;)

this is why I don't put my pic up....

elubas--yeah, I think 88 more games, and I'll find a draw in there somewhere.  :)

thanks for the insights!

analyse ALL his games including that game

Then learn from them

You might also try to take all the tactics out of the game and try to stop all of his good moves. He will still be able to beat you but he may get bored and lose his focus and allow you something. Maybe you can grind it down to a draw.

:)

Prior to this thread, I'd planned exactly that for the next game.  lol