Of course I want to hear a GM's thoughts, Andy, but you're going to get a hell of a lot more out of the experience if you've already spent some time digging into your game.

Hi Vivinski.  I looked at your game and my comments follow.  On move 21 c6 you decided to close the game on King side.  At this point you have two bad bishops and the better piece for closed games, the Knight, can not make it to the nice home on f5.  So I wonder why did you close the game if that gives you no edge?  In case your answer is "well I had to do something, it was my turn to move" then I recommend you read Reasses your Chess by Silman (3rd edition).  In case you thought closing the game was a good or decent move I wonder why.  I appreciate you posted your game and like everyone else says, indeed we learn more when we lose than when we win, although winning feels a lot better.  Cheers.

Hej like the lake, I appreciate you commenting on my game, but I obviously wasn't playing white here, since white won by checkmate and the thread is called... "why do I lose these games".

Also, above the game it says I'm playing black

So yeah, wish there were some books I can recommend you but I can't think of any

Yeah sure...I just thought the "active vs passive" thing seemed a bit glib. 

I'd say start your analysis at move 22. At that point, you know exactly what direction the game is heading: all the play will happen on the kingside, and you have more space. The point of space is to let you maneuver your pieces to better squares--you can build up one threat quickly, your opponent protects it, and you can reposition faster/better than he can because you have more space to do so. You have more good squares to use. Space in this context is a pretty long-term advantage...take your time to put your pieces where you need them, and open lines advantageously. 

Get your rooks both on the g or h (probably g) files before you open things up if possible (I realize that was challenging with your c8 bishop this game). Move 27 should have been 27...Bxh3, not Nxh3, to let your rook out if nothing else. It also may have allowed Bg2 to go after f3, or the h1 rook. Later on, you had a pawn to target on the f-file that you didn't go after as much as you could have as well. Find squares that your pieces will excel on and find a way to get them there. Identify which pieces will help you to trade off, and try to trade them. 

You made a lot of moves around the g4 area, particularly with your queen, that at least on first inspection, didn't advance any particular plan or address any particular weakness. 

Just some thoughts for you. =)

Hey Vivinski.  My comment to you was from black's perspective, I know you are playing black, it says on the board.   Your reply to 21 c6 was b6 and you decided to close the game with two bad bishops and a knight that can make it to f5... My apologies for the confussion in the writing.  You may wanna read the original again.  Cheers.

Ok then, but I don't think b6 was a bad move, it denies white any play on the queenside while I can try something on the king side

Yes Vivinski.  You are right.  However you just said "while I try something on the King side".  The plan of 21..b6 was do to something.  The plan of 21 ...bxc is to activate your bishops and post you knight in f5 where it can do more damage.  The later, as a plan, is a lot better than "something".  Maybe? Cheers. 

Taking the c pawn would potentionally open up the entire queenside if white decides to sac a pawn.