A tired and weak opponent was no match for my skill and cunning. if only it was rated 0.o

as a friend of mine used to say "you threw everything at him but the kitchen sink"

Are you certain of Black's rating in this game? Well, it certainly doesn't match what I would expect of one (on a very basic level, at that). For instance, 5...Ne7 just lost him a very important pawn (while 5...d5 would fight back and eventually neutralize the early attack). Furthermore, 10...Qf5 is ludicrous! A simple move such as 10...Bg7 would get the h8 knight, and so on and so forth.

Black's rating is higher than mine, and yet I see those things quite clearly. Let's be honest from now on, alright?

Yes. Jakasaurus' game is pretty much impossible if he was actually playing a 2000+ person.

The best was 44. - Ke6 in the second game. All I can say is: LMAO!