And Yet MORE Silly Rules In Chess lol

I just noticed yet another new thread about the much maligned Stalemate Rule. It seems that the OP in that thread had 2 Queens, 2 Rooks, his King ( of course ) and a couple of other pieces. After some " fancy " maneuvers the OP in that thread allowed his opponent to get a Stalemate which upset the OP somewhat. However the beauty of a player who is down a lot of material being able to avoid a Checkmate seems to be lost on a lot of people. Thus we need a new silly rule and when rookie players are learning to play Chess they must write out 1000 times: Stalemates are beautiful, Stalemates are beautiful, Stalemates are beautiful, etc etc. 

Silly rules, huh? How about this:

For every one of your pawns captured, you must hold them in your mouth for the entire game.

what about all the turns & clock bull we dont need it we shouldn't wait for our opponent to move we should just move

My friend and I tried playing non-turn-based chess, where both of us move as fast as we can, trying to capture the other player's king. 

It was a messy game.

Stalemates are illogical which is why they weren't originally draws and were only later changed to be draws.

The fact that they are draws is so illogical which is why there is such confusion and frustration among learning players. It is only after having the concept beat into people that they then blindly accept it and beat it into others.

But yes, doing crossword puzzles is a complete waste of time.

Darn! Why didn't I think of that?

But I think we also made a rule that you have to take your hand off the piece after every move.

seems like we already have an opening it could be named the pellik attack and i think the proper defense would be e6 to stop the pawn

Thanks for all of the new posts.

ChessSponge: Well when it comes to Logic one can get into deep water rather quickly ( eg: Adults playing games like Baseball, Paper-Sissors, Darts, Checkers, Hockey, Monopoly, Chess etc etc ). On the Stalemate Rule I am reminded of being on the playground many years ago as a child and playing Tag ... Ha Ha you can't catch me.

Vulpes_Vulpes: Your idea is just GREAT in regards to the Pawns, indeed you may have solved the problem of getting more people interested in Chess. We make Chess sets where all of the Chessmen are made of Chocolate ! ( using White Chocolate for the White pieces etc ). When young kids are learning the game we tell them that as soon as they capture a piece they get to eat it --- Perfect ! For the adults we use the type of Chocolates that are filled with fine Liquor ! Chess will become the most popular game in the World, just brilliant ! 

P-wnattack: Very true, your point in regards to having too many rules that just slow down the game is a good one. Let's just speed it up people !!!

Lenny Bongcloud has discovered a new rule of chess.  It was previously thought that the purpose of chess was to checkmate the opponent, but Lenny discovered that the goal is actually to get your king to the other side!

Queen promotion I always felt was harsh and basically meant a win. So it could be limited to Bishop or Knight.

How ironic!

In Chinese, the chess term capture is "吃", the same word for "to eat".

I'm Chinese, by the way. Read my profile.

Chocolate chess sets sound expensive to make.

And also, wouldn't that reignite the "obesity epidemic" in USA?

P-wnattack: Very good point about the " Pellik Attack ". We should start a petition to the FIDE to have this new idea included in the next edition of the ECO. I mean the idea is so simple in execution that it is brilliant.

The attack or the variant also?

The game is perfect how it is , that's why it's so popular? Geese guys it's like we're trying to alter the mona Lisa here . just leave it it's perfect how it is.

That I half to agree.

Using the Mona Lisa analogy, her breast size and face would certainly be the first to be altered. IT'S FINE HOW IT IS!!

Before we get into deep doodoo here I should mention again that in my first post in this thread I said this was a tounge-in-cheek attempt to change the rules of Chess. Thus this thread is a lot like being a armchair-quarterback, it's lots of fun but not too serious.   

Berder: Yes you are quite right in that Lenny Bongcloud blazed a new trail of his own. I mean sending his King deep deep into enemy territory. The King leading the charge himself as in days of old --- all hail King Richard The Lionheart ( and Lenny Bongcloud too of course ).