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7th February 2009, 12:56am
#1
by Popinjay
North Carolina United States
Member Since: Sep 2008
Member Points: 137

In a park people come across a man playing chess against a dog. They are astonished and say: "What a clever dog!" But the man protests: "No, no, he isn't that clever. I'm leading by three games to one!"

7th February 2009, 01:01am
#2
by feyterman
Auckland New Zealand
Member Since: Sep 2007
Member Points: 861

hahaha

7th February 2009, 01:06am
#3
by moaz
Bangladesh
Member Since: Jun 2008
Member Points: 186

Lol thats old

7th February 2009, 01:14am
#4
by BlankFrank
Left Blank United States
Member Since: Dec 2008
Member Points: 68

Ah that is great

 

Why is the combination of chess and humor so rare????

 

 

thanks

7th February 2009, 06:06am
#5
by rich
United Kingdom
Member Since: Jul 2007
Member Points: 27854

This dog will go in the guinness world records.

7th February 2009, 07:33am
#6
by shalom160
Israel
Member Since: Jan 2008
Member Points: 14

hello...!

i really agree with you completely - about the 'game beeing for everyone'

thx a lot

7th February 2009, 08:09am
#7
by pawppy
Buzău Romania
Member Since: Dec 2008
Member Points: 87

No it's not true... He was ahead by just one match

7th February 2009, 08:14am
#8
by mmkrond
Nebraska United States
Member Since: Nov 2008
Member Points: 22

Here's another joke from world chess champion Alekhine (1892-1946).

"Last night I dreamed that I had died.  Naturally I headed for heaven.  As I neared the portals, I was hailed by St. Peter, asking who I was.  "I am Alekhine!" I hastened to explain.  But the statement made no impression. "I am Alekhine, chess champion of the world," I reiterated. "Sorry," said St. Peter, shaking his head.  "There's no room in heaven for chessplayers." My spirit was dejected.  Before leaving the pearly gates, I took one last look around.  Eureka! Whom did I spy? Why none other than my good friend Bolgolyubov.  Quickly I drew St. Peter's attention to my rotund crony.  "There's Bogolyubov.  He's a chessplayer." St. Peter smiled sadly.  "He only thinks he's a chessplayer." "

7th February 2009, 08:46am
#9
by PawnMove
Ft. Worth, Texas United States
Member Since: Jan 2009
Member Points: 15

hmm...you guys haven't heard of the Dog-O-Indian Defence, have you?

 

                            LOL

7th February 2009, 08:53am
#10
by rich
United Kingdom
Member Since: Jul 2007
Member Points: 27854

Hmmmm nope, doesnt ring a bell.

7th February 2009, 09:13am
#11
by Endgame_Clothing
Orange County, CA United States
Member Since: Jan 2009
Member Points: 302

As far as chess jokes go...that was pretty good.

7th February 2009, 09:19am
#12
by Kxg
Lithuania
Member Since: Nov 2008
Member Points: 39

A chess master died - after a few days, a friend of his heard a voice; it was him! 
"What's it like, where you are now," he asked. 
"What do you want to hear first, the good news or the bad news." 
"Tell me the good news first." 
"Well, it's really heaven here. There are tournaments and blitz sessions going on all the time and Morphy, Alekhine, Lasker, Tal, Capablanca, Botvinnik, they're all here, and you can play them." 
"Fantastic!" the friend said, "and what is the bad news?" 
"You have Black against Capablanca on Saturday." 

7th February 2009, 10:18am
#13
by mmkrond
Nebraska United States
Member Since: Nov 2008
Member Points: 22
Kxg wrote:

A chess master died - after a few days, a friend of his heard a voice; it was him! 
"What's it like, where you are now," he asked. 
"What do you want to hear first, the good news or the bad news." 
"Tell me the good news first." 
"Well, it's really heaven here. There are tournaments and blitz sessions going on all the time and Morphy, Alekhine, Lasker, Tal, Capablanca, Botvinnik, they're all here, and you can play them." 
"Fantastic!" the friend said, "and what is the bad news?" 
"You have Black against Capablanca on Saturday." 


 Good one!

7th February 2009, 01:14pm
#14
by stanhope13
Armageddon United Kingdom
Member Since: Sep 2008
Member Points: 788
mmkrond wrote:
Kxg wrote:

A chess master died - after a few days, a friend of his heard a voice; it was him! 
"What's it like, where you are now," he asked. 
"What do you want to hear first, the good news or the bad news." 
"Tell me the good news first." 
"Well, it's really heaven here. There are tournaments and blitz sessions going on all the time and Morphy, Alekhine, Lasker, Tal, Capablanca, Botvinnik, they're all here, and you can play them." 
"Fantastic!" the friend said, "and what is the bad news?" 
"You have Black against Capablanca on Saturday." 


 Good one!


 i like that.

7th February 2009, 01:28pm
#15
by Saccadic
Vaughan, Ontario Canada
Member Since: May 2008
Member Points: 620
7th February 2009, 01:40pm
#16
by RadioEdit
United States
Member Since: Feb 2009
Member Points: 17
mmkrond wrote:
Kxg wrote:

A chess master died - after a few days, a friend of his heard a voice; it was him! 
"What's it like, where you are now," he asked. 
"What do you want to hear first, the good news or the bad news." 
"Tell me the good news first." 
"Well, it's really heaven here. There are tournaments and blitz sessions going on all the time and Morphy, Alekhine, Lasker, Tal, Capablanca, Botvinnik, they're all here, and you can play them." 
"Fantastic!" the friend said, "and what is the bad news?" 
"You have Black against Capablanca on Saturday." 


 Good one!


Don't be fooled it is good, no doubt. Only it is old :(, he made that joke with chess, it originally was a baseball one.

8th February 2009, 02:45pm
#17
by xandy71
Glasgow United Kingdom
Member Since: Jan 2009
Member Points: 545

a fellow in deepest darkest russia hears garry kasparov is doing a exihibition .he say to his son"son we must go and see the great kasparov"so the set of on a ten day journey to moscow .Arriving one hour too late they return home .One week later the fellow hears again kasparov is in ST petersburg "son we must go and see the great Kasparov"they set of again on a twelve day journey .arriving only to hear MR Kasparov has left you are too late.They go home.at home the Father hears Kasparov is playing in the next village "son we got to see the great Kasparov" so they set of immediatly through blizzards,snow drifts and lightening arriving at the venue Kasparov is just leaving the stage. The father runs down to the front throws himself on the ground and tells Mr Kasparov the lengths he has gone to see him and pleads"Please,Please Please Mr Kasparov just one song for my son and me "

8th February 2009, 03:18pm
#18
by kissinger
seattle United States
Member Since: Dec 2008
Member Points: 543

dogs don't have opposible thumbs , but i guess they could use their mouth to move pieces, ....

8th February 2009, 08:08pm
#19
by BasicLvrCH8r
Kansas United States
Member Since: Sep 2007
Member Points: 1605

They could also just push with a paw or the nose.

Here's another:

Two friends see each other on a street corner. One says to the other, "My wife says that is I go to the tournament this Saturday, then she will leave me!"

"What will you do?"

"1. e4, like always."

10th February 2009, 09:20am
#20
by drmr4vrmr
baguio Philippines
Member Since: Jul 2008
Member Points: 462

And that my dears.. is what chess really is. Some days you are a dog!

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