I just resigned from a game due to disrespectfulness. The players name was Ravenous. This person decided that his chess skills were so superior that he had to give me a play by play of what I did wrong. Have some class and keep your comments to yourself! Winning a game after a player makes a bad series of moves should be enough to prove yourself, but saying "Oh what a stupid move" is just down right unsportsman like! This person is bad news beware! He chose to make comments that were derogatory, he wasnt just trash talking! I treat people with respect so I can earn it right back. I wish you Good luck Ravenous but you will never be a friend of mine!

Did you ask him to stop? Some people have no idea that their comments are hurtful or derogatory until it is pointed out to them. Sad but true.

I agree that his actions as described are disrespectful. But class also involves keeping private disputes private, and not hanging dirty laundry out to dry.

if it was turn-based, just 'disable chat'. [make sure either opp or you have completed 4 moves.. - then the game gets rated also.]

I mean this may be naive of me, but if you were playing someone for the first time and you were of somewhat sound mind, would you say something unkind at any point during the game; how about something disrespectful? I cant imagine how a person could survive in this world if they cosistently did things like that.

Where I come from it's customary to deride everyone you meet, especially when playing chess.

 I can undertsand your dislike for what happend. But this is an activity that gives  cheers to winning. So it may have been a ploy to pschy you. As for airing dirty laundry you can post what you wish as you should to state your greivanous. Sorry for what happend... I wonder what the age of the player was? We are all obnoxious at a certain time of our life to some extenent.

People are rude in Kansas? Can't believe Dorothy and Toto wanted to go back there!

A while ago I had a similar experience. I challenged a player with a higher rate than mine rejected my challenge saying non reproducible words -did I mention I was new in this site? He showed me an extremely arrogant attitude that I was obvioulsy not expecting. The person 'X' I challenged had not the least idea whether my skills were good or bad nor anything about myself showing clearly his prejudices and bad attitudes. I thought for a moment that this site was full of such people but soon I realized it is not like that; unfortunately such individuals will always exist and we cannot do anything about it. We have to be more tolerant, even with those that may not deserve it.

Cheers,

CIAO
REBELDE

I have had limited experiences here but they have all been good.  I have had a few folks ask if they could give me advise....YES PLEASE.  They then monkey stomped me but politely explained what mistakes made me a quivering jelly at the end of the game.  Sorry you met up with an idiot.  I put out a Wanting to Learn unrated seek and had a great experience.  Even though I got clobbered. 

Sorry to hear about your experience, Eugenics. Rudeness is not nice - here, or anywhere.

I have an online friend (whom I met only here on chess.com) to whom I tried suggesting (no, not insulting) some improvements. He quite firmly told me to stuff it, and play on - and I did. Fortunately, we are still friends.

I also played another person who simply disabled chat right at the beginning. It was odd for me (the only time anyone did it to me), but nothing to take offense.

As already suggested, you could disable chat next time that happens. Then you wouldn't have to endure anything; and certainly not resign in disgust.

You will not find this behavior to be the norm.  I joined the site in late October and already have at least five people off the top of my head that I have greatly enjoyed playing and look forward to playing again at some point.

Time and time again you will see folks list the people as the biggest asset that chess.com has.  It would be hard to argue against.

we all have our white whales , dont let them destroy you.

Are you saying that it is rude to offer helpful suggestions?  Because I do that all the time when I play someone that I may be able to help, and I would always appreciate it from someone who can help me.  Or was it the manner in which the suggestions were conveyed?  By the way, disabling chat IS rude, unless there is a good reason to do so.  Doing so simply because someone greets you makes you rude.  This should never be the first option.

 From reading between the lines I think that it wasn't offering advice, but more along the .... yo momma so stoopid....path. I'd probably just resign - not bother with the disable chat. I'd rather play and chat with someone I like.

Notice I said, I'd probaly not bother,this is because after about 10 months everyone that I've ever played has been sound as a pound, which speaks volumes about this site and it's community.

although I've never really ventured nito the realm of live chess

Personally i enjoy beating rude people more then other players. Of course there is the risk of loss but the ruder they are the harder I try. At the end I might comment something like, "more chess less mouth" or "if your brain powered your chess rather then you mouth I wouldnt be winning."

Of course there are rude people but we are here to play chess not get upset by some toss.

Sorry to hear about your bitter experience, Eugenics. I just looked at the game - you did not play so bad! Your opponent was also not a vastly superior player. He is just a young kid who hasn't learnt beans about ettiquette and good behaviour! Just overlook his comments like we ignore so many things in life. You will find the vast majority of chess players in chess.com otherwise.

NO, NO, NO!  It is not necessary to "put up" with rudeness, no matter how often it pops up.  Arrogance ( i.e. rudeness) in really good chess players is often exceeded only by their ignorance of good social behavior.  Give it to them with both barrels.  Good for them.  And I don't mean resign and shrink away. And, a complaint about them is not airing dirty laundry, more like hanging out the wash.

As has been already been mentioned, most of the players on this site seem a good bunch.  Maybe because it's a tight ship.

At least you were a rook and two pawns down - from the opening post, I had thought your resignation was entirely due to whatever conversation occurred, but it looks like leaving a rook en prise was also a factor.

When I play people on the block they always talk 2 psych u out but there is a limit 2 the amount of disrespect some1 is gonna take but if $ is involved u can make rules like no talking b4 the game starts! Some people get sucked in by their emotions & they lose but remember chess is a gentlemans game so ignore the talk cause it will distract u & mess up your concentration!