A woman from work saw me playing at chess.com on the lunchroom PC's.  She asked me about it, and I foolishly offered to show her how to play sometime - well, "sometime" is tomorrow at lunch!

What should I go through first?  I've got an hour!

Thanks in advance for the advise!

No, I'd leave values and pins for later. For now the rules are the most important. Values and pins can be learned at the end.

Pawns move that way, rooks move this way, bishops move sideways, queens move every which way

Get one of those shot glass chess sets. By the time you get to how the rook captures, the lesson should be going swimmingly!

I agree with this. Help her to memorize the way the pieces move. Then introduce the objective which is checkmate of the king. After that show her some simple opening ideas which should probably include Scholar's Mate.

  1st, show her how to place the board.  2nd, call it a day.  If you insist on going a little farther, by the time you explain everything about the pawns, she'll be more than ready to call it all off.

  Good luck!   (You'll let us know how it turns out, right?)

 
Susan Polgar's instructional DVD.

 God, I love English sensibilities!

The important point to teaching is to make them feel like they can do it too. I've seen many people trying to teach chess that have failed miserably in this respect and have often put off their students from even wanting to play the game. Patience is key especially with things that can get as complicated as chess so be sure to keep a pace that is comfortble with the person you're trying to teach.

And don't get too complicated. I once saw a guy teaching a few people how to move the knight and soon went off on some tangent about sacrifices on f7... I think I was more confused than the newbies were.

As long as you can keep it fun and engaging you'll be fine. If that doesn't work then shot glass chess may well be in order.

One peice at a time, starting with pawns. Explain where they start, how they move, how they capture, and that every pawn is a potential Queen. Cover en passant, explain how this was introduced in the 15C, to speed the start of the game, in a way that did not violate principles of the game. Point out that pawns can never move backwards, a unique feature.  

The practice exchanges, till she is confident with pawns.

Then, to give her an insight into what chess is really about, present the following problem and ask her to solve it> White to move and win. Be patient and let her discover the solution through trial and error, giving her hints as needed. Ie: don't just show her the answer. That way, and once she has solved it herself,  she will start to 'geddit'. 

Next lunch hour, the Rooks.

Happy to oblige And lunchtime drinking is one of the few things on which the English can still speak with some authority

Sounds like she's interested in you and is just using the Chess as a front.  And judging by the exclamation points, and more specifically, the "?!" in your title, I think you're interested as well.  I recommend copious amounts of alcohol, and for the first lesson:

The art of back rank mates with your white bishop.

Remember to get her number :P

Make sure you stand behind and hover over her back, and move her hand with the piece in it as you show her how the pieces move and speak in a French accent. Watch the Simpsons episode from Season 1 where Marge learns to bowl.  And use mouthwash.  

Doesn't '?!' mean "dubious" ?   

So watching you play chess turned into a lunch date?

Are you sure she's not mostly interested in your bishop?

I was actually thinking the same thing, i dont think this has that much to do with chess

Back in the day, a woman who wanted chess lessons was indicating a different sort of interest, but using a test to check and make sure you weren't a complete idiot.

Nowadays, who knows?

Times have changed,
And we've often rewound the clock,
Since the Puritans got a shock,
When they landed on Plymouth Rock.
If today,
Any shock they should try to stem,
'Stead of landing on Plymouth Rock,
Plymouth Rock would land on them.

In olden days a glimpse of stocking
Was looked on as something shocking,
But now, God knows,
Anything Goes.

Good authors too who once knew better words,
Now only use four letter words
Writing prose, Anything Goes.

The world has gone mad today
And good's bad today,
And black's white today,
And day's night today,
When most guys today
That women prize today
Are just silly gigolos
And though I'm not a great romancer
I know that I'm bound to answer
When you propose,
Anything goes

When grandmama whose age is eighty
In night clubs is getting matey with gigolo's,
Anything Goes.

When mothers pack and leave poor father
Because they decide they'd rather be tennis pros,
Anything Goes.

If driving fast cars you like,
If low bars you like,
If old hymns you like,
If bare limbs you like,
If Mae West you like
Or me undressed you like,
Why, nobody will oppose!
When every night,
The set that's smart
Is intruding in nudist parties in studios,
Anything Goes.

The world has gone mad today
And good's bad today,
And black's white today,
And day's night today,
When most guys today
That women prize today
Are just silly gigolos
And though I'm not a great romancer
I know that I'm bound to answer
When you propose,
Anything goes

If saying your prayers you like,
If green pears you like
If old chairs you like,
If back stairs you like,
If love affairs you like
With young bears you like,
Why nobody will oppose!

And though I'm not a great romancer
I know that I'm bound to answer
When you propose,
Anything goes...
Anything goes!

To those who were interested:

It went fine.  Showed her the basic moves of all the pieces - even played a quick, open, chaotic game (pointing out captures in 1).  Thanks for the advise!

As for the other possibilities mentioned, I'm overweight, married, and +10 years, so I doubt it.  

*guffaw!*