Good maners, courtesy and respect

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20th January 2009, 04:44am
#1
by BishopJoe
Israel
Member Since: Mar 2008
Member Points: 162
[COMMENT DELETED]
20th January 2009, 05:30am
#2
by RICK29
Philippines
Member Since: Feb 2008
Member Points: 50

isn't right to greet someone "good game" bfore a game i find it as a form of sarcasm, not unless you already had a game with him or her.      

20th January 2009, 07:45am
#3
by BishopJoe
Israel
Member Since: Mar 2008
Member Points: 162
RICK29 wrote:

isn't right to greet someone "good game" bfore a game i find it as a form of sarcasm, not unless you already had a game with him or her.      


Have a good game is not sarcastic, on the contrary, it means what you expect it to be, but this is not the main issue!!!

However, thank your for your comment.

20th January 2009, 10:26am
#4
by sf-kidd
New Hampshire United States
Member Since: Jul 2008
Member Points: 221

I agree with you, when you enter a tournament you have a responibilty to the tourney and the other players. If you do a survey on the whole have a good game and good luck is another common saying. Your going find, Its pretty split on this issue. It reminds me of the whole debate on resigning. some people think there is time when you should resign but other people would tell you this a game and you should be allowed to play to the end, no matter if you going to lose or not. personally playing when you know that your going to lose, shows integerty. I give you the saying I live by, the way you treat your competion is a direct reflection of yourself. (sorry about the spelling)

Nice forum Bishop Joe

Take care Jeremy

20th January 2009, 11:00am
#5
by salamillion
United States
Member Since: Dec 2008
Member Points: 290

I interpret the "good game" comment as wishing your opponent a good game prior to the start - Similar to saying good luck but in a nice way.

This is interesting to me as this is a global forum and indeed many cultures may find even a good hearted "good luck in the tourney" comment sarcastic.

20th January 2009, 11:05am
#6
by purcellneil
New Jersey United States
Member Since: Oct 2008
Member Points: 93

Chess can be an intimidating game, especially for new folks.  It also has the potential to be a positive social experience - even over the internet.  We all share a passion for this game, and an interest in keeping this a fun place to visit, so why not be friendly and courteous?  It takes far less effort than to choose your move, so why not extend yourself a little and say "hello"?

20th January 2009, 11:12am
#7
by Jythier
Rhode Island United States
Member Since: Feb 2008
Member Points: 191

I will make a comment to people I've played before, especially if they've beaten me in the past, such as, "Oh no, it's you again!  I'm doomed!"  I sign up for tournaments based on who's participating, or what the rating level is.  It's nice to make friends who you know share this interest.  But often in a tournament I won't say anything at all.  But anyone who starts a conversation with me will have one, I try to always respond to chats - that's only polite.

20th January 2009, 12:58pm
#8
by Stavisky
Essen-Antwerp Belgium
Member Since: Nov 2007
Member Points: 537

Hello Yosi,

I agree completely with you, if someone is participating a tournament and quit playing  ( for what ever reason ) without informing neither the opponent or the organisers,is certainly not giving a proof of policy and good manners, and what about the other item, it's in my opinion self-evident you wish your opponent good luck, or let's have an interesting game or something like that and this has certainly nothing to do with sarcasm or cultural differences !

Friendly greetings,

Herman

20th January 2009, 01:15pm
#9
by ih8sens
Sudbury, Ontario Canada
Member Since: Jan 2008
Member Points: 2858

I've been known to open with "Go easy on me." both in OTB play and here @ chess.com :P.

 

"All the best" works.

"Good chess" makes no sense but is seen...

"Good luck" is a bunch of baloney.

and

"Have a good game" might be best.

20th January 2009, 01:33pm
#10
by martianwei
Urbandale, Iowa United States
Member Since: Feb 2008
Member Points: 24

I don't need to carry on a conversation, but it is irritating when I say "hello" or "thanks for playing", etc., and the other person does not respond.  If I wanted to play a chess robot, I'd do that.  I'm here to play real people.

20th January 2009, 01:47pm
#11
by salamillion
United States
Member Since: Dec 2008
Member Points: 290

To date - and I have only been playing since Dec 25, 2008 - my only opponent has been my daughter and she talks non stop and we have a ball.  I play my computer a lot.

I may not be cut out for serious chess then.  With me it is fun and if that means I need to be more serious in my approach I may have to stick to the machine.

In martial arts tournaments I was fortunate enough to be in at an earlier age, if you were not polite, a senior belt walked you out the door.  Trust me, in those tournaments there was always someone who took being courteous seriously and made sure people were nice.  I would not think it would have to come to that in Chess.  If you were a part of a club, an entire club could be penalized for a rotten apple so to speak.  In individual play this is not as much pressure as taking out a team

20th January 2009, 01:58pm
#12
by styxtwo
New York City Netherlands
Member Since: Nov 2008
Member Points: 150

just how you would do it with resigning (posted somewhere in the previous posts), treat others as you would treat yourself!

if you feel like you can say good luck to someone before playing, then do, if you feal you can't, then don't(please keep in mind that it is almost never a sarcastic saying and probably only to actually wish the other person a fun game). if you feel like you can just quit a game then do, but don't come crying when others treat you with the same disrespect you did with them.

this goes with resigning too, when you see a way to beat yourself(from the opponents point of view) then its time to resign. if not, the continue playing.

its all so easy people, TREAT OTHERS LIKE YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE TREATED!

now i hope thats enough for ranting :).

20th January 2009, 02:02pm
#13
by artfizz
South (GMT) +rT United Kingdom
Member Since: May 2008
Member Points: 3482

Should chess.com take a lead in advising on minimum standards of courtesy - via its FAQs? Currently it urges:

Basic Site Rules

Put simply: be nice, no cheating!

Terms of Service

Put simply: respect others, respect the law, and enjoy yourself!

Given that chess.com is the premier chess website on the planet, the next-but-one world champion may well turn out to have been a member of chess.com. That person's whole experience of chess may have been via electronic chess. Do we really want a future world champion to be ignorant of basic chess manners as: what to say at the start of the game? how to respond when someone says: "Good game" or "Good luck!" ? and what is the generally accepted point to resign?

 

20th January 2009, 02:10pm
#14
by TheGrobe
Calgary Canada
Member Since: Nov 2007
Member Points: 4617

The tournament drop out issue is even more problematic when a strong player has done it after he's won a few games in the round.  The result is that the players whose games are already done against the player are unfairly disadvantaged if they lost or drew.

20th January 2009, 02:16pm
#15
by Maradonna
Scotland
Member Since: Jan 2008
Member Points: 2156
Kupov wrote:

"This is my birthday can you please let me win" has carried me up from 1100.


 How many birthdays have you had this year :)

20th January 2009, 02:32pm
#16
by D_Blackwell
United States
Member Since: Oct 2008
Member Points: 178

I haven't entered a tournament here yet, but would never consider not seeing it through even if I was taking a whipping.  It is a commitment.  If 'twere my group and a player simply quit, dropped out, or didn't follow the tournament rules - then I would ban them in the future.  One-strike policy.  I would probably make an exception if the player contacted me, took the high road, explained circumstances (family or work crisis) of why they felt forced to drop out - but did so with class.

As far as online games, with my playing account I thank them for the game, then advise that I am not a chatter and turn it off.

The internet atmosphere plus cultural differences make taking offense at  phrases such as 'Good game." and "Good luck." small and petty.  We should be giving each other the benefit of the doubt, not assuming intended insult.  In the USA "Have a good game." is simply a respectful gesture, like a handshake.  I can't know and don't take responsibility for another person thinking it is somehow insulting.  I deserve the benefit of the doubt and would give it to you without comment.   Sometimes I might ask what something means in further explanation because the English used (the translation) leaves open a question of what is clearly a cultural difference where I am interested in something more explanative of what is meant.

20th January 2009, 02:45pm
#17
by cuak2000
Santiago del Nuevo Extremo Chile
Member Since: Sep 2008
Member Points: 44
martianwei wrote:

I don't need to carry on a conversation, but it is irritating when I say "hello" or "thanks for playing", etc., and the other person does not respond.  If I wanted to play a chess robot, I'd do that.  I'm here to play real people.


Same here. I know it's silly to get irritated by something like that, but I still think it show lack of respect...I will probably never see the person playing with me, but she still deserves some respect.

20th January 2009, 02:45pm
#18
by baltic
Manila Philippines
Member Since: Feb 2008
Member Points: 347

Simply....."Lets enjoy this game" seems nice...Wink

20th January 2009, 08:57pm
#19
by BishopJoe
Israel
Member Since: Mar 2008
Member Points: 162

For all those who think that  "have a good game" or "have a good tournament" is sarcastic in some cultures, what will you think about your opponent when you are siting in front of him before the match beguine, extended your hand to shake his and he didn't respond to it????

In "CHESS CULTURE" we think it's not "POLITE" and this is an understatement!!!!

Salamillion wrote above:

" I may not be cut out for serious chess then.  With me it is fun and if that means I need to be more serious in my approach I may have to stick to the machine."

Well, if it is fun for you, believe me, it's also fun for your opponent, but it will be more pleasant to say just:  Hello.

About "Good Luck" wishes in chess games, there is not such a thing in chess, or you play good or you play "not so good"  Innocent

20th January 2009, 09:40pm
#20
by JetSetter
United States
Member Since: Aug 2007
Member Points: 195

Is it so hard to see the difference between OTB and the internet? I'd prefer my opponent say nothing on the internet, because there are no tones or facial signs for me to tell if they're being a troll or not (and half the time, they're being a troll).

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