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Guilty Secrets


  • 15 months ago · Quote · #1

    Beast719

    Have you got a guilty secret that you would love to share but probity, manners, or the local homicide laws prevent you from revealing to a soul?
     
    Mine is simple and very satisfying.  I last used it in Tournament play in the Chess Monstathon by Brynmawr market.
     
    Before each OTB match I like to take a big swig of fresh pig’s blood and just hold it in my mouth during the game. 
     
    My opponent doesn’t suspect a thing.
     
    I roll it around my mouth as it gradually cools to aid my concentration. 
     
    It helps to calm me and keep me from a state of flummoxation under pressure.
     
    When I win, which I usually do, I just look my opponent in the eye and swallow.  The sweet taste of success.
     
    But that’s not the best bit of my delicious secret.
     
    If I am in a hopelessly lost position (rare).  Just before the final mating attack I feign a huge sneeze and explode a bloody tsunami covering my opponent, the board and all of the pieces in a thick slick of what appears to be my own blood.
     
    The game is usually declared a draw whilst I am whisked away in an ambulance for urgent medical attention.
     
    I am usually discharged within the hour to go back and pick up my trophy.

    Genius.

    What are your guilty secrets?

  • 15 months ago · Quote · #2

    fissionfowl

    lol genius 

  • 15 months ago · Quote · #3

    tabor

    I team up with a few parapsychologists : one behind my opponent, other to my right side, a third two blocks from the club house facing West and a forth near the favorite opponent´s female.

  • 15 months ago · Quote · #4

    ivandh

    Funny, people spontaneously squirting blood in chess matches is rather close to my secret. I cannot say more.

  • 15 months ago · Quote · #5

    wealybin

    Unfortunately you can only use it once per tournament otherwise people suspect.


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