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I need some help


  • 3 years ago · Quote · #1

    snuske

    Hi there

    Well I have been playing chess regularly for around 2 years, and the first and a half year I improved on a steady basis, but the last year I have kind of not got better, in fact on the contrary. For some reasosn I just focus as much when I play, I just really seem to care as much for some reason... But well I have two specific points, I would like your advice on:

    1. First of all, I am just a really bad loser, I have really tried to improve on it, but it just really bother me every time I lose. Especially if I am outplayed I just feel really stupid, and get immensly frustrated. So I have tried to learn to lose for now like 2 years it might have got a little better, but still from time to time, I just get really angry about getting beaten or something like that. As GM Daniel King says, when you lose you feel stupid, and that is the worst you can feel, and I must say that I think he is spot on. So have any of you been able to at least become decent losers?

    2. Also when I play longer games, lately I have kind of got lazy. I just cannot be bothered to sit and calculate versions for like 15 mins. or longer, I do not know, but I just think that doing all this calculating is just really mentally exhausting. Also I have noticed that a lot of players (myself included) play very fast, though they are playing slower games (time control 45 45, 45 15 or something like that). So got any advice on that?

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #2

    Norb68

    I guess for me its cuz i play ALOT of bullet games.

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #3

    losingmove

    You've been working hard...take a break

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #4

    MichaelVIzzo

    please go back to the old format, this new one blows

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #5

    Atkinsr0522

    I think for the first problem you should focus that frustration into something beneficial. Instead of taking it personally saying "I feel stupid" try to take inspiration from it. Say that the loss just means I need to improve my game in some aspects, then go back and analyze your game and try and figure out what those aspects are. From this, I think you will always be improving and losses won't be such a dread. You might even start to enjoy them in a way. It may allow you to work on a weakness that you otherwise could have never known existed, and if you work on it you will become a stronger, more well rounded player.

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #6

    snuske

    Atkinsr0522 wrote:

    I think for the first problem you should focus that frustration into something beneficial. Instead of taking it personally saying "I feel stupid" try to take inspiration from it. Say that the loss just means I need to improve my game in some aspects, then go back and analyze your game and try and figure out what those aspects are. From this, I think you will always be improving and losses won't be such a dread. You might even start to enjoy them in a way. It may allow you to work on a weakness that you otherwise could have never known existed, and if you work on it you will become a stronger, more well rounded player.


    Yeah I know, that is how you have to feel. And the annoying thing is that I know that quite well, this is what I am SUPPOSED to do. I just for some reason seem more to fall into the getting frustrated in an unconstructive manner... :/

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #7

    RenataCFC

    Take a break from chess.  If doing the necessary things to play well, like taking your time and calculating when necessary, is a burden to you, then you will not play well and will only frustrate yourself further.

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #8

    dimitros

    First of all,

    chess is a game of patience,a lot.If you are not so patient to analyze your moves,just don't analyze them so much ant try to improve by playing more games.

    Second,if you think that you are patient in general,then really take a break and come back when you feel you miss the game enough..

    And my last point is 2 things  to do when you lose badly:

    a)play a low rated player and beat him comfortably.I really enjoy doing this even i know that my win is worthless and my benefits are insignificant.

    b)you must not worry about losing.Losses are more educational than wins!

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #9

    insidejob

    There is nothing wrong with you.  Feeling angry when you lose only means one thing: you are a competitor.  All great competitors hate losing.  This is what makes them winners.  If you don't want to win, why play?  So, try to channel that energy positively, like: I see what I did wrong and can do better, or: Maybe I can beat this person next game, or: maybe I should try a different opening, or: maybe I should brush up on tactics, or: maybe my strategy should have a different focus.

    All of us have ups and downs and I'm not a very good player.  Keep competing.  As the others say above, take a break from chess once in a while.  My own additional advice is: don't play when you're too tired, have something distracting you, or have been drinking.  Best of luck for your future games!

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #10

    GhostNight

    I feel your perception of, " When I lose I feel stupid"? Is wrong!  For example if you were a Top CEO making $$$$$ and lose at a game of chess, are you stupid? lolo Well I would take being a loser at chess any day and be successful at being great at what really counts!  Its a game and when you play more often and lose or win, its still just a game, no one is paying you when you win, nor are they taking your home away from you when you lose! Try to be coolCool 

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #11

    wowiezowie

    Ghostnight, money isn't everything.... chess IS everything.

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #12

    GhostNight

    OK, there is always another view, but I was just trying to make the OP feel better and now you destoyed it, how could you be that way?Cry

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #13

    Chessking47

    I just came across this forum and I want to give you one piece of information. 

    1) Please take your time to ANALYZE your games. let's say you lose a game against a 1000 guy, like me. Losses actually help get you better. Analyze that game, find mistakes, and eliminate mistakes.

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #14

    snuske

    Thank you very much for all your comments!

    A thing I have been pondering over for some time:

    When I play longer games, or when I solve problems, I must admit that I find it really exhaustive to try and calculate various lines, and especially to try and calculate the opponent's best defence to the move(s) you have just played. And this is where it starts not to be relaxing at all, and instead it becomes quite demanding. So does anyone else feel like this?

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #15

    Atkinsr0522

    I find it can be demanding sometimes but that challenge is also part of the fun. Maybe these problems are arising because you expect or want chess to be relaxing for you, when it is really not a relaxing game. I guess your future course should depend on what you want out of chess. If you just want to have fun, and 'relax' when you are playing, maybe just play casualy and stick to playing people who don't study or practice excessively. But if you are really determined to better your playing and understanding of chess then be prepared for hard times. If you want t he latter then when you are having a hard time then always focus on what you want and tell yourself why you are putting yourself through this 'mental torture'. And remember, with work what is demanding now will become second nature in the future.

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #16

    Atkinsr0522

    P.S. I have only been playing for a few months so my advice may not be the greatest, but I have studied classical piano for a few years and I have dealt with alot of what you are struggling with now, so all of my advice is taken from my experience with music. But I think it can be applied to chess, and demanding thing. Hard work is hard work. Hope this helped!

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #17

    windows96

    how you study chess matters, if your'e not getting better then perhaps you should shift strategies.

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #18

    BaronDerKilt

    Its really taking the easy way out to just feel stupid when you lose. Instead you must PUNISH yourself for losing, such as forcing yourself to study endgames each time. Or 20 Petrosian games. If you survive, you will eventually be playing better . . .

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #19

    beardogjones

    Young man, don't analyze your games or correct your mistakes  or be Ok with losing- just

    wing it -  what could possibly go wrong??

  • 2 years ago · Quote · #20

    snuske

    Hi there 

    Thanks a lot for your feedback and help!

    I think the main point is that you should, focus your annoyement on getting better, so that next time you will not lose like that again. It sounds easier than it is, sure, but I will defiantly give it a shot!


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