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I was sent a scathing message for my etiquette? What did I do?


  • 2 years ago · Quote · #21

    KingKraven

    @netzach So are you saying I care? I really don't but still it would be nice to know why. So maybe I can find a solution so it won't happen again.

    @bigpoison I don't have thin skin (people say I don't care enough and I need to be more receptive to others) but it was quite scathing considering that the note was loded with profanities and I declined to write it all out in this thread because of it.

    @reflectivist As I said before, I had no idea that was an option and if I did know I didn't know how to do it. Mind you, I didn't play on this site. It was a different one.

  • 2 years ago · Quote · #22

    bigpoison

    Oh.  I thought "grow up" was the extent of it.

    My apologies.

  • 2 years ago · Quote · #23

    netzach

    KingKraven wrote:

    @netzach So are you saying I care? I really don't but still it would be nice to know why. So maybe I can find a solution so it won't happen again.

    @bigpoison I don't have thin skin (people say I don't care enough and I need to be more receptive to others) but it was quite scathing considering that the note was loded with profanities and I declined to write it all out in this thread because of it.

    @reflectivist As I said before, I had no idea that was an option and if I did know I didn't know how to do it. Mind you, I didn't play on this site. It was a different one.

    If you don't your not very sportsmanlike then are you ? But you seem to imply reason for not following etiquette is because you do not wish to be insincere ??

    Is important to '' greet '' your opponent. How you do so is up to you & you need not for example say '' good-luck '' if you do not want to (I don't)

  • 2 years ago · Quote · #24

    clms_chess

    streetfighter wrote:

    I consider myself to be a very polite person but I just don't respond because I just don't.

    Ergo, you are not 'very polite', or even polite at all in the commonly-held sense of the word. 

    I have a friend who reacts similarly to yourself, and also my girlfriend's sister is the same - - -they both have a form of Aspergers' Syndrome.

    Nothing wrong with that of course, but people will respond to your behaviour in different ways. Don't be surprised if some of them take offence, even though you intended none.

    I agree... if I'm at my club... and even if its just a pick up game.. its just common courtesy to acknowledge your opponent. I think the same goes for online chess. Having said that though, if someone does not acknowledge me... no big deal... we play so many games.... I mean just move on.

  • 2 years ago · Quote · #25

    SPARTANEMESIS

    KingKraven, when you extend your hand for a handshake and the other does not, do you consider this polite or rude?

  • 2 years ago · Quote · #26

    trailerparkboys

    woodrow wrote:

    When an opponent says hello to me, I say hello and consider the amenities dispensed with. If my opponent makes any other comment, I say, "If you don't mind, I prefer to play rather than chat." After that, I make no response to any chat attempt. 99% of the time, that works fine. If my opponent continues to chat (and sometimes it becomes obvious that his mode of play is to insult and try to intimidate), I finish the game and afterwards put that opponent on my blocked opponents list. All in all, it's a very minor problem. I've read of people running into far worse that this in OTB games.

    You sound like an idiot. I'm blocking you.

  • 2 years ago · Quote · #27

    transpo

    Why not just be honest with your opponent and say, "I'm gonna crush you like a grape.  Or, as GM Arnold Denker use to say, "I'M GONNA GIVE YA A CLOBBERATION"

  • 2 years ago · Quote · #28

    AnnaZC

    That looks great Count! Bananas, Strawberries, Honey and Toast and Juice

  • 2 years ago · Quote · #29

    CaptainPike

    People have their reasons. Click the "disable chat" in your next game if you don't want to chat, or go into your settings and click the box that says "always disable chat." There are many privacy settings available to avoid this kind of experience, including limitations as to who can send you messages. Disabling chat would have sent a message loud and clear that you do not want to chat, but it's not personal. As far as your opponent, s/he needs to grow up and realize that not everyone sees the internet as a place to socialize, and that people may have their reasons for not socializing that has nothing to do with him/her nor is it any of his/her business.

  • 2 years ago · Quote · #30

    StevenBailey13

    Why not just disable chat?

    If you keep it on you're inviting people to talk, and you probably should reply.

  • 2 years ago · Quote · #31

    netzach

    CaptainPike wrote:

    People have their reasons. Click the "disable chat" in your next game if you don't want to chat, or go into your settings and click the box that says "always disable chat." There are many privacy settings available to avoid this kind of experience, including limitations as to who can send you messages. Disabling chat would have sent a message loud and clear that you do not want to chat, but it's not personal. As far as your opponent, s/he needs to grow up and realize that not everyone sees the internet as a place to socialize, and that people may have their reasons for not socializing that has nothing to do with him/her nor is it any of his/her business.

    Although your right in most of what you say. It is not a case of '' not socialising ''.

    Is like refusing to shake-hands, or entering a boxing match without tapping the glove your opponent offers & instead start punching.

    It is rude !

    What's the difficulty here in typing quick '' hi '' then disable-chat. Lousy-manners not to do that.

  • 2 years ago · Quote · #32

    KingKraven

    Well, I noticed the disable chat option when I played a match on this site so yes, I will make sure to do so before hand.

    However, I was "inviting" him to speak to me. I had no idea disabling chat was a possible option as it wasn't on this website. I was playing online on another. I really didn't know that you could do that.

    You know because breakfast items are very popular on this site. I will have some chocolate chip pancakes and we'll see if my opinion changes. Probably won't but they will be good.

  • 2 years ago · Quote · #33

    netzach

    Don't think will matter then if you only play internet-chess. If i was part of OTB tournament-team & you refused to acknowledge opponent I would kick you out of it without hesitation...

    ( you would not be permitted to play )

    http://blog.chess.com/KingsEnemy/chess-etiquette2

    http://blog.chess.com/RookedOnChess/chesscomtv-chatroom-rules

  • 2 years ago · Quote · #34

    BoydSchidt

    Seems odd to me that you need other people to explain to you your rudeness to the other player.

    You surely understand that ignoring someone's friendly greeting is rude and ignorant, no matter how much you want to concentrate on the game.

    If you behave like that to your 'friends' then I'm surprised you have any.

  • 2 years ago · Quote · #35

    KingKraven

    netzach wrote:

    Don't think will matter then if you only play internet-chess. If i was part of OTB tournament-team & you refused to acknowledge opponent I would kick you out of it without hesitation...

    ( you would not be permitted to play )

    http://blog.chess.com/KingsEnemy/chess-etiquette2

    http://blog.chess.com/RookedOnChess/chesscomtv-chatroom-rules

    I'll just make sure to disable the chat prior to someone entering the room. OTB, I don't play too often but when I do if someone offers a handshake then I will accept. I will not offer a handshake. Why? Even if I shake someone's hand it does nothing for me maybe you need it. I don't. Most players in the club I play in now recently don't shake hands either. The only acknowledgement is a nod. They nor I are rude people. It's just the way we play.

    One last point, I never analyze the game with my opponent. I understand why people would do it. I never do it because it will serve me no benefit. I've been in tournaments and have been offered to analyze the game with them (victory and defeat). I rather not do that. I always analyze the game alone, if that's not possible then I don't analyze at all. 

    Thanks for the links, I read them but my view goes unchanged.

    I do agree about being despondent and hostile. There is no need for that. Every time I lose, OTB or internet. I tip over my king as a sign of being mated I leave the board (or room). No despondency or hostility involved just leave, everyone will lose so you just move on as it's just a game. I don't like to socialize with my possible opponents. I don't want people to be offended if I brush you off. I just don't want to talk to you.

    I do want to thank the users for at least putting it in my head why people will be like this. I will make sure to avoid the situation altogether the best way I can.

  • 2 years ago · Quote · #36

    netzach


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