The Canadian Open in 1974 attracted an imposing field, including GMs Bent Larsen, Ljubomir Ljubojevic, Vlastimil Hort, Duncan Suttles and Miguel Quinteros. My own sharpest memories of the event are centered around an incident that occurred on one of the lower boards.

On a board near mine, one of the players blundered his Queen away right in the opening. As soon as his opponent captured the errant Queen, the player stopped his clock, jumped to his feet, and rushed out of the playing hall.

The victorious player paused for a few minutes, examining the nearby games, and then started to leave. As he reached the exit, his erstwhile opponent leapt out from behind a large potted plant, kicked him in the nuts, and ran away.

This was clearly an illegal move.

The tournament director was summoned to deal with the matter. He consulted with the offended player and with the other tournament-hall officials, then phoned the Montreal Police.

The Police arrived with commendable promptitude, interviewed the tournament director and the injured player, then settled down to wait for the start of the next round.

Sure enough, the assailant showed up for his next-round pairing, and was immediately arrested and taken away by the Police.

As I read this, this thread was right above the thread titled "Chess as a combat sport".  Thanks for the laugh.

Haha very funny... Thought it would be a real illegal chess move, but this infringement is funnier

Thats a sore way to win,nuts

It's called the two nut defence. Played only by the aggressive chess enthusiast, it has similarities with the knee-cap defence that was devised by Ms Tonya Harding. 

Actually Ms Harding couldn't use the two nut defence against Ms Nancy Kerrigan because it was a nutless situation. That's why Ms Harding used the knee-cap defence.

Here in Canada it's referred to as the Anti-Testicular Gambit.

It's generally believed that the temporary initiative isn't worth a jail term, though... especially in a clock game, where you are likely to over-step your time limit before your lawyer can bail you out of jail.

An aggressive queen gambit. I like it.

The standard reply to this aggressive two nut defence is to protect valuable jewellery with the reverse mooney variation.

have you posted this in another thread? sounds familiar

Twice before. I thought it was worth repeating in the General Forum, though.

lol, hadn't read it yet.

Hmmm, the Two Nuts' Gambit... Ah, here is the description in my MCO:

The Two Nuts' Gambit is a very aggressive attacking choice for the player with the Black pieces. The unprepared opponent is taken off guard and completely decimated by this opening; however, it is very unsound. An opponent who has prepared with the Cup Variation has very good chances of reaching a winning position.

My comprehensive Eng is not good enough to laugh at some jikes in Eng ,(there are some factors that don't need to be mentioned why is that so)  but this one was quite hilarious.