Who hasn't been there? You are thinking, your opponent is looking at other games, you let one slip but -- with the hush in tournaments -- everybody hears that fart!

There are, of course, farts and farts. An evening of beans will not only make you fart a lot, they will also be disgustingly smelly too.

What to do if you need to fart? Obvious good manners is to step outside to pass wind. But at the board, your move, time a ticking...?

Suck it up.

And lay off the beans! 

@vm-11

that reminds me of a story Andy Martin told. Julian Hodgson was due to play Karpov. He was only dissuaded from placing a whoopie cushion on Tolya's seat at the 11th hour!

Silent and deadly is the way to go.

The correct process of farting at a chess board is very complex. Even GMs don't always know what to do. I'll try to give you a brief explanation. 1. Put on a hat and tie, and adjust the heads of your minor pieces (knights, bishops). This process is extremely necessary when playing an opponent in a tournament. Not following this rule might get you kicked out, or fined up to 50$. 2. Bash heads with your opponent. This indicates the unity and brotherhood of chess players around the world. If you are more of a positional player, apply a headlock as well. 3. Finally you may proceed to fart. There are thousands of other rules, so ask your tournament director for more rules. Thanks for your question.

Squeeze it in!  

This is an easy way to win turnaments especially if you can make toxic gasses thus causing your opponent to be sent to the ER and thus run out of time. :D

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LOL seriously?

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Try it at your local tournament!

Everybody knows it's impolite to fart in the opponent’s time. Farting in your own time should be fine though.

Fart while executing your move for extra impact. This works the best with long moves.

 

Chemical warfare of all forms is frowned upon, but has become a reality of modern chess.

this is great stuff!  After you finish your bottle of wine, now you know what to do with the cork.......

Did you know there is in process to harness the fart and use it as a new fuel  source for automobiles. It is gas you know and just think you can be paid for depositing your farts at the local gas station!   The only question is, is it a clean form of energy? Thats how the back-fire -bomber was invented, just ask Sid Ceasar

:)