I have found that one bad move early, during a chess game, can literaly shut my brain down. I seem to dwell on my mistake, and while doing so, I get myself into more trouble, as the game progresses. What is the best way to combat this little problem? Does this happen to others? Maybe I should move away from the chess board and clear my head..........that shouldn't take me long.

Perhaps it is different for everybody, but I know I have lost sleep over bad moves made at online chess. How stupid is that...

My wife doesn't let me talk about chess so if i am frustrated or excited over a game, I generally have no outlet except to find something to spank my kids for.

Just kidding

There was a chess player who once made a comment that I found remarkable when I was a beginner... now that i'm a beginner/oldfartwhowillneveraccomplishanythinginchess... I somehow have a better understanding of what he meant. He said (paraphrasing),

'Give me a lost game and I will save it, give me an even game and I will gain an advantage.. please please please don't make me finish out a won game.'

Since reading this quote I try to look at blunders as a way to focus and play a part of the game we all need help with... defense. There is a lot of satisfaction in playing a game well from beginning to end and winning. But there is a lot of satisfaction as well in saving a lost game. Most people playing a piece up concentrate solely on offense, and will sometimes miss tactical ideas for his/her opponent.

This is much easier said than done of course. I still beat myself up over silly mistakes I make. But trying to keep that in mind, I can usually refocus and play an interesting game anyway.

Oginschile, no offense, but that doesn't sound like a healthy marriage. You should be able to share the things that are important to you, even if one of you is doing all the talking, and the other is just nodding and saying "Yes, dear" every once in a while to be supportive.

 

I think everyone has trouble putting past mistakes behind them in a game. You just have to realize you're doing it, slap yourself on the wrist, and say "Stop that! The game's not over. How do I play this position?". If walking away from the board for a minute helps clear your head so you can come back and focus better, then go for it.

 

--Fromper 

I have a very hard time not dwelling on a stupid blunder. It is especially  easier to blunder on this site when you are jumping back and forth between a dozen games. I just did that today when I knew I had the game won and I didn't really look at all the board,then I lost my queen.  I have to make myself put it behind me and move on to the next game. One of the grandmasters(I think it was Lasker) said, "When you see a good move,wait and you will see a better one."  That really made an impression on me and I have found it to be true.

It's the nature of the game I'm afraid. I'm still sore over a screw up yesterday and feel to quite the game and play my violin. ):

 

 

I agree with Fromper. When you said just kidding, were you also referring to not being able to talk about chess? That sounds very controlling and even demeaning. You should be able to at least share if you are happy or upset about a game, even if she finds the game itself boring.

 

I know it is not really any of my business and I apologize if this advice is unwarranted, but I actually found your comment a little upsetting.

Something about ruling the roost and under the thumb spring to mind ;p

But seriously I think the problem is you are bringing pride to the chess table, something which is very hard not to do.  You put to much pressure on yourself to perform at your expected level and once you do that any below par move you make will eat away at you.   

 

I really don' t get upset over blunders. Perhaps it's because I have no ego where chess is concerned, and I realize that at the age that I began to seriously study chess, I'm never going to be great at it. As long as I'm improving, and I am, I'm happy.

I try as much as possible to not let mistakes get me down so that I continue to play the position im in badly, but sometimes I just get so flustered I must walk away from the board for a few minutes.

hooperxxx wrote: I really don' t get upset over blunders. Perhaps it's because I have no ego where chess is concerned, and I realize that at the age that I began to seriously study chess, I'm never going to be great at it. As long as I'm improving, and I am, I'm happy.

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Exactly my feelings.  Also I make many blunders so I'd get no satisfaction out of chess if I got upset about them.  I am cutting down the blunders, I must say.