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Sartre also said "hell is other people". Although that line is mostly misnderstood, it does seem to sometimes apply on the internet quite literally.
I think "good day" or "good luck" is just enough manners on the internet, plus ofc not ************** -or what ever that was- anybody!
Some people - speacially who talk english- reply friendly if u started friendly!
Usually when ur playing with somebody from your country they reply friendly and keep silent.The problem is not all people want to be gentlemen/women.
Anyway, if anybody acts with -manners, just reply with manners and -in the same time- make fun of him/her ,you may remain silent or disable chat, just try to beat him/her badly, then say "good game" that will really annoy him/her to death, and u will keep ur manners and be totally satisfied!
Keep it up,
Just a comment to those telling the lady above and others not to resign if playing someone who has sexually or otherwise harrassed her/him.... sorry to say, having known what even small amounts of this kind of harrassment can do to a person, the best answer for many really is to resign and block that person and have nothing more to do with him.
It's nothing to do with letting him win the game and getting what he wants -- most of the really harrassing types feed off the contact and responses of the people they harrass. Continuing to play only feeds that persons ego and insanity more.
I think the lady is right to resign when she feels like it. What are a few points compared to her peace of mind and not having to interact in any way with such a bastard, who is only getting off on knowing she is still there on the other side of the screen.
If everyone followed such advice, whenever that kind of abuser would like to get a few points, he would know disturbing female opponents is a nice short cut. It's like rewarding abuse, I just don't get it. They aren't cartoon characters who "grow" by just knowing you're there, when you block them and finish the game, you just force them to shut it up and play chess. I don't think they would enjoy that as much as they would enjoy free & easy points.
I think smilodoncool, and philidor_position are both right. But not all females will do as I do, and there is nothing you can do about how some people get rating points and some people lose rating points, online.
I say "hi."
If they reply, well then that's great. If they don't, then I just play the game. I believe it is good manners to say hi, but if it were forced it wouldn't really be a show of good manners now would it?
Why get worked up over something you could never control?
There are numerous good reasons not to reply including: "I don't want to and you can't make me." Otherwise people would be forced to reply against their will and that's equally wrong. If the sentiment isn't real then I don't want it anyway.
Philador, because you are an inherently decent person, it's hard to understand what makes someone like that tick. Good on your for that, I say...
But you seem to think than a genuinely abusive freak is primarily here to win chess games. Someone like that trolls the internet looking for targets and gets off on the act of targeting them and being in contact with their target -- on this site chess is just a vehicle and the points would mean little, but knowing his target was still in contact would be the goal.
Hopefully, they are few and far between on this site.... but I know 3 women who have played here and have had their runins with these types. They all felt 'cleaner' by just foregoing the points and being rid of the sod.
Hey, thanks for calling me an "inherently decent person" . Of course it's up to the "victims" to decide what course of action they wish to take, as I said before, I realize it's hard for a male in a patriarchal society to empathize with women in such situations.
I love when I get insulted after beating them
I have never experienced thash talking while playing and I agree this is not miseducation but pure tatics.
Play the board, not the man.
But I serve drinks to men where I am initially rather a plain looking woman, and after a few drinks I turn into Heddy Lamar!
You turn into a brilliant scientist?! Awesome new attribute of "beer goggles" eh?
I don't get any trash talk, I only play team matches/tournaments.
What did she invent, bigpoison? I forget.
I'm not sure, really...I think it had something to do with wireless communication. Anyway, I'm sure the research department (google) has the answer. Hey, that would be a good name for a google competitor, researchdepartment.com.
43% of chess.com members are under the age of 20. 58% are under 25. I believe most of the insults and trash talk comes from this demographic group, though most young players are perfectly courteous and friendly.
Forget it, Bigpoison, I looked it up
My typical response to abuse during a Live Chess game is also to resign - and I am not female. I simply do not want to spend one additional moment of this short life connected in any manner to an abusive person, if I have the power to avoid it and the consequences are minimal, as they are here.
If I'm in a particularly charitable trance, I might offer a prayer for them. Alas, this is not often the case.
"Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me." We are to be held - even by ourselves - responsible for our own experience of this experience.
90% of the people who insult you over the internet would never do that face to face, it's pretty weak.
Maybe not physically, But psycologically and emotionally, words can be far more damaging!
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