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My New Opening


  • 20 months ago · Quote · #1

    pawnzischeme

    I have devised an new opening:  Nf3

    Why don't people resign when I play it?

    Why won't people just resign?

    If I'm playing a 3-day game, why doesn't my opponent move every 3.5 minutes? 

    They must be chearting. 

    Can I get it named after me?

    Has the Grobe ever been used by a South American GM in any tournament held in Montana, USA?

    Is age 85 too late to become a GM?

    Who was  better, Fischer, Kasparov or Don Mossi?

    Are these new topics to these forums?  Anxiously awaiting the answers.

  • 20 months ago · Quote · #2

    temp_ddg

    Haha, you are missing the "chess players are rude".

  • 20 months ago · Quote · #3

    pawnzischeme

    Not rude -- intense, damnit!!

    I didn't mean Don Mossi.  I meant Ken Hubbs.

  • 20 months ago · Quote · #4

    chessmaster102

    dint forget "I just learned how to play a month ago how many days before im a GM already?

  • 20 months ago · Quote · #5

    TheGreatOogieBoogie

    Don't forget spiteful trades ^_^

  • 20 months ago · Quote · #6

    BruceJuice

    I have devised an new opening:  Nf3

    Why don't people resign when I play it?

    You didn't play 1.e4.

    Why won't people just resign?

    They're not married.

    If I'm playing a 3-day game, why doesn't my opponent move every 3.5 minutes? 

    They're married.

    They must be chearting. 

    Yes. http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x3hj5b_ot-cheart_music

    Can I get it named after me?

    You need an IQ of least 2400.

    Has the Grobe ever been used by a South American GM in any tournament held in Montana, USA?

    You'll have to ask him.

    Is age 85 too late to become a GM?

    You need an IQ of at least 2400.

    Who was  better, Fischer, Kasparov or Don Mossi?

    Joe Green

    Are these new topics to these forums?  Anxiously awaiting the answers.

    They are completely new and I should have the answers up in 3.5 minutes . Oh wait I have to take out the garbage.

  • 20 months ago · Quote · #7

    pawnzischeme

    BruceJuice wrote:

    I have devised an new opening:  Nf3

    Why don't people resign when I play it?

    You didn't play 1.e4.

    Why won't people just resign?

    They're not married.

    If I'm playing a 3-day game, why doesn't my opponent move every 3.5 minutes? 

    They're married.

    They must be chearting. 

    Yes. http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x3hj5b_ot-cheart_music

    Can I get it named after me?

    You need an IQ of least 2400.

    Has the Grobe ever been used by a South American GM in any tournament held in Montana, USA?

    You'll have to ask him.

    Is age 85 too late to become a GM?

    You need an IQ of at least 2400.

    Who was  better, Fischer, Kasparov or Don Mossi?

    Joe Green

    Are these new topics to these forums?  Anxiously awaiting the answers.

    They are completely new and I should have the answers up in 3.5 minutes . Oh wait I have to take out the garbage.

    haha

    I don't think people are taking this seriously.

    That proves that:  1.  Chess players are frivilous

    2.  Chess players are rude; and, more importantly

    3.  Why don't they resign, even if their beating me??

    I've got to go, my phone may ring.

  • 20 months ago · Quote · #8

    TheGreatOogieBoogie

    I remember when I was a little kid before even reading a chess book thinking I invented 1.b3.  I called it my bishop cannon ^_^

  • 20 months ago · Quote · #9

    pawnzischeme

    1. b3!! ... black resigns; simple as that.

  • 20 months ago · Quote · #10

    livluvrok

    you guys are hilarious

  • 20 months ago · Quote · #11

    royalbishop

    pawnzischeme wrote:
    BruceJuice wrote:

    I have devised an new opening:  Nf3

    Why don't people resign when I play it?

    You didn't play 1.e4.

    Why won't people just resign?

    They're not married.

    If I'm playing a 3-day game, why doesn't my opponent move every 3.5 minutes? 

    They're married.

    They must be chearting. 

    Yes. http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x3hj5b_ot-cheart_music

    Can I get it named after me?

    You need an IQ of least 2400.

    Has the Grobe ever been used by a South American GM in any tournament held in Montana, USA?

    You'll have to ask him.

    Is age 85 too late to become a GM?

    You need an IQ of at least 2400.

    Who was  better, Fischer, Kasparov or Don Mossi?

    Joe Green

    Are these new topics to these forums?  Anxiously awaiting the answers.

    They are completely new and I should have the answers up in 3.5 minutes . Oh wait I have to take out the garbage.

    haha

    I don't think people are taking this seriously.

    That proves that:  1.  Chess players are frivilous

    2.  Chess players are rude; and, more importantly

    3.  Why don't they resign, even if their beating me??

    I've got to go, my phone may ring.


    2 weeks into the year and 10 people have created openings on this site. Ok i have to go and work on my mine also.

    "The I Got You No Matter Which Way You Turn Opening" and

    " Grandma's Favorite Opening " 

  • 20 months ago · Quote · #12

    pawnzischeme

    Oh yeah.  Well then, who is better:  Bobby Fischer, Eddie Fischer, Fisher-Price or Fishing with the Amish??

  • 20 months ago · Quote · #13

    eddysallin

    #1. can a 1300 beat a 2700    #2  every time i move my mouse the computer....   #3 I have been playing for a year and i am not getting any bettter   #4  how do i become a better chess player   #5 will carlsen reach 2900(or 30000)  #6   How do i report a cheater #7   I know they are cheating because i keep loosing  #8  Can i move  into check because of the pin, fork,skew.    #9 I am 14 and want to become a G.M.  #10  my  pawn Queening can become a piece for my opponent( great on solving puzzles)                                                                   

  • 20 months ago · Quote · #14

    royalbishop

    Can a 1300 beat a 2700? If he is a 2200 player and after playing one game and his rank is 1300 in which case that clearly is not his playing level. Only way to meet those conditions. Other than that it would be a NO.

    I have been playing for a year and i am not getting any bettter. Well on this site you have to have an opening and have some general knowledge of what to do when playing any opening, Opening Theory. This will improve your chances of winnning. All these players do on this site is study the opening and try to win the game early. So even if you have a strong End Game it will not do you any good if your are behind in material or position in the End Game. The above applies to this site. Some other places they do not study the opening as much as they do here and give you a better fighting chance.

    How do i become a better chess player? Get a book on the fundamentals and know them in and out then advance to intermediate subjects. Ask questions like you did here. Try posting your games also only after they are finished. Look over your games that you lost and see if you can find the better move. As that situation will come up again and nothing is worse than keep repeating mistakes. If you can not find it go to games played by GM's as they will have a better response to what your opponent is playing at your level.

    I am 14 and want to become a G.M.   Enjoy the game for now while your having so much fun learning it. Take learning into steps and take no short cuts. Find out the learning habits of great players. Play unrated games with players way above your rank best way to force you to improve and not lose rank. Take what they done to you in a game and apply it to players at your level. lol. At some point you will improve and then  try tournaments here after you get a couple of consecutive wins as playing these type players will force you to play better as they are seriosly looking to win.

     I know they are cheating because i keep loosing. That is not always true. Many players will look at your previous games to find your weak points and your favorite opening. It is even worse when something is working against you over and over again in which case they will stop till you beat it. Or have forgetten about it. Hint at this stage you might want to stay our of Bullet and maybe Blitz as i found that is where it is worse. Just from my view. 

    My suggestion create a forum asking how to improve your game and post your rank and some issues with your game. Many players will be willing to give you details on this subject.

  • 19 months ago · Quote · #15

    pawnzischeme

    Can't post much.  Sarcasm police are at the door!

    (If a 1300 player beats a 2500 player, will the 1300 go to jail if the beating was not with a deadly weapon?)

    (also, if a 14 year old is already a GM, can he become a 1300 in a year?  If not, how long does it take?)

  • 19 months ago · Quote · #16

    royalbishop

    Hmmm wonder if you will say that to him when his game is stronger than yours. Sure it will be all silence.

  • 19 months ago · Quote · #17

    pawnzischeme

    What color boards do you hate to play on?

    Did Humphrey Bogart ever play chess with Maria Ashpenskia?

    When should you resign?


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