Official list of how to make yourself a Chess Jerk

I love the game of chess, I find it to be quite beautiful, but unfortunately it's often ruined by jerks (we humans have a tendency to ruin anything we get involved in). Here's my list of ways that people ruin the game, and feel free to add more of your own below.

1. Do not resign -- so you are down a rook, two pieces, and three pawns, so what?!? Valiantly struggle on for as long as possible, wasting everybody's time.
2. Play as slowly as possible when not resigning -- going along with number 1 above, if you have a hopeless position and are not going to resign, make sure to only move once every 2 days 23 hours and 59 minutes. This way, you will lose only over months and years, instead of right away.
3. Disconnect in live chess -- if you hang a piece in the first minute of a live game, it's better to disconnect and let your clock run down for 5, 10, or 15 minutes rather than just resign. This way, you get to laugh at your opponent for sitting at his computer like an idiot.
4. Reconnect after 4 minutes and 59 seconds -- after you have disconnected in a losing position, and your opponent has gotten up to go to the bathroom or to get some coffee, reconnect and hope he doesn't come back, thus earning yourself a full point.
5. Abort 75% of your games -- rather than using the "game settings" to set up the pool of people you want to play with to match your preferred rating level, it's better to abort game after game after game, annoying people to no end.

Did I miss any?

+1 you made a statement!

6. Whine about any of the above

Ignoring thoughtful analysis after asking for advice in the forums, not replying to posts which are meant to provoke a conversation. Not as annoying as the above, but tends to discourage participation by those that would like to.

I had an opponent in live chess who finally saw that I had a forced mate, and ran down his clock some 6 minutes, and then challenged me to a rematch! Disgusted, I declined.

Pretty much sums it up

Tell your opponent to resign. Keep making draw offers every move in a lost position. 

 good points

how about make sure you do these things in fast tournament games so you can bother more people at one time. my advice is make more queens, this is at least FUN even if it doesn't discorage your opponent.

To all those people saying, "don't whine about it," remember that trying to improve things is a very honorable goal. For many people, trying to expand the reach of chess, trying to get kids into it, get more women into it, make it more popular, etc., is a goal we should all be striving for, and people with attitudes like TheGrobe are holding us back. The attitude of "just deal with it" is a major factor in why many people don't enjoy chess, and I'm trying to make it more enjoyable for people.

Imagine if in any other field people just gave up. All politicians are scumbags, who cares, don't whine about it. All computers crash, it's just the way it is. I think we should fight to have honorable politicians, and Steve Jobs fought to have computers that don't crash, even when everyone else thought it was impossible.

The attitude of "don't whine about it" would have prevented virtually every scientific advance in history.

Finally, just because those things I listed above are not "technically" against the rules, they are downright annoying, just admit it. It's like filibustering in the Senate. Technically it's legal, but for god's sake don't overdo it.

lol, double lol.

Maybe you are the violator when you are whining about or even to your opponent... think about it. Just tell them gg and see you next time

I was playing a player who is rated 400 rating points higher than me, he was up a queen and rook. I managed to win. should I have resigned even I had something I wanted to try. it's true if I played a computer I would have no change at all.
however the certainty of a player winning, will mean he may overlook a counterattack. 
 

If  you have counter-play that is a different matter, but what about players who are down to a King and a few pawns, with no hope of promotion? Are they wanting to see your technique of mate wtih a Queen and Rook vs. King?

Hey Grobe, I never realized you were such an obscurantist! lol  Here he is btw with two of his flunkier flunkeys:

Seriously OP, I've been in (though hopefully not of) the chess world for a long time now, and the truth is it's probably always gonna be like that.  It may be a laudable goal to want to improve things, but the truth is that a lot of chessplayers don't want chess to be popular (they want it to remain in a dark arcane corner all to themselves) and a lot of them don't want more women in it either (just look at the threads around here that have raged on that topic).  The game (unfortunately) seems to appeal to a high percentage of social misfits, so the jerk percentage is always likely to be abundant.

Guts! So what if there is a person, or a group of people on the forums who disagree with you? Post it anyway! There are thousands of people on the forums! Many of those people may agree with you, and would like to support you. I don't like people discouraged from posting just because it may get criticized. Post what you think, be sincere, and try not being discouraged by dissent

well actually I didn't mean ignoring the advice, I meant ignoring the post and not responding at all in any fashion. Why did they post the question in the first place? I can deal with disagreement, but posting a question and then never responding to a reply, just one and out, is just rude.

@heinzie -- Maybe the Occupy Wall Street protesters are just whiners and should say "gg" to the rich people who obviously won the game of life, and then just go get rich themselves next time they are reincarnated.

@AndyClifton -- I pretty much agree with you. The good thing, though, is that in the over-the-board games none these things have really been a problem for me. Obviously, there is a time limit so you can't prolong your loss for months like you can online, and because there are other people around as well as an arbiter, I think it's harder to act like a jerk because otherwise you will incur the wrath of the other players. Unfortunately, OTB play is less convenient than online =P And it's not unique to chess, of course, people are generally jerkier online in any field.

 +1.

 I couldn't disagree more.